Don't get me wrong - I appreciate my husband. However, there are things about the male species that are - shall we say - annoying to the point of pulling out hair out! So in honor of father's day, I submit this article:

Not-So-Perfect Parent: Quoting Movies, Surfing Channels and other Annoying things Men Do

My husband refuses to change the toilet paper roll. He is of the opinion that as long as there is a morsel of paper remaining on the roll, it doesn't need to be changed. So while in a rather precarious position, I am forced to claw away at the remaining remnants of tissue with our fingernails. I know I am not alone. There are many women like me suffering from the annoying antics of men. In no particular order, here are five common things that irk women.

The Gross Factor: You burp, you scratch, you spit, you leave beard clippings in the sink and nail clippings on the floor - these habits are unwelcome to say the least. Men at every age can't help but giggle when they or a buddy produce obscene sounds. It starts early. I have already had to stop my two-year-old from pulling his older brother's finger.

Leaving a Trail: Whether it is preparing a meal, taking a shower, or mowing the yard, you tend to leave a long line of items behind you wherever you go. The good news is that we won't loose you - the path you leave works better than breadcrumbs! We can always locate you somewhere amidst the piles of clothes and dirty dishes.

Not listening: It is hard having a conversation using only sound bytes. However, we realize that your attention span does not exceed a commercial break. Therefore, we are forced to tell you about soccer practices, dinner menus and the results from our mammograms within thirty seconds or less.

Quoting Movies: Why is this fun?? Explain to me the enjoyment behind quoting movies? You do it every time you get together with male friends and you can spend an entire evening quoting "Caddy Shack" or "Napoleon Dynamite". We would rather you quote poetry - not "Pulp Fiction". After all, when did Terintino replace Shakespeare?

The "I'm sick, Take Care of Me" syndrome: I am tired of hearing how women have a double standard about their independence. You tell us that we can't have equal treatment and expect you to put the toilet seat down. You want the definition of double standard? Take the manliest man you know and give him the stomach flu. How you deal with your man in this situation is your call. I might suggest, however, that the first call be to his mother.

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