Bedtimes at our home continue to be a challenge. But truthfully, the frustration I have around the witching hour has more to do with me and my fatigue than it does with my children and their resistance.

The boys were in bed, teeth brushed, stories read, even the dog was sufficiently tucked-in for the evening. I did my nighttime ritual and finally, I mean finally, dragged myself into bed. I heard the crying and tried to ignore it. It got louder and then I heard him calling my name.

I am beyond angry. I get up, slam open the door, and shout “WHAT DO YOU WANT!!” His cries get louder and he says through sobs, “I need some more snuggles.” Frustrated, I get into his bed and bark “One more minute and then no more talking!” Silence and then he whispers, “Gus is sad.” He was holding his stuffed monkey tightly in his arms. Calming down I say, “Why is Gus sad?”

“Because you scared him.”

Yes, I was tired. Yes, I knew he was simply looking for an excuse to put off sleep just a little longer. But shame on me for acting like a maniac and frightening my son. I took Gus in my lap and apologized for scaring him. Then, I apologized to Luke for being so angry. I gave him three more snuggles and four more kisses and headed for the door. “Mommy”, he said, “Gus needs a snuggle too.” I took his stuffed monkey and hugged and kissed him and tucked them both into bed.

We grown-ups forget how scary we can be to our children. It is hard not to yell and not to scream when they are not cooperating. But we must, simply must, take deep breaths, say a prayer, and remember they are watching and learning from our actions. I apologized to Luke, to Gus, and to God. Because saying you’re sorry is important when you are a not-so-perfect parent.

1 Comments

Jennifer Lanter said:

That boy has you wrapped around his little finger. both Luke and Gus will be fine. Now- go to bed

September 19, 2007 1:42 PM

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