I remember as a child being fascinated and a little disgusted by my fifth grade teacher. Every time she shook her finger at a misbehaving toddler, the flab under her arms would jiggle like jello. It is one of the worst conditions of growing old.

A friend of mine, (who agreed to allow me to write about her experience as long as I pinky-swore not to mention her name), had a nightmare experience at a water park. She was supervising an end-of-school party and was taking pictures of her child amidst her classmates. One little girl requested that she also take a picture with her camera. My friend placed her digital camera under her arm while focusing the new camera. A quick pinch caused her to stop. To her complete horror, she discovered that her camera lens had closed on the fat of her arm.

She stood there waving her arm frantically trying to fling the camera off, but its grip was as tight as a piranha. Kids started to gather as she attempted to press buttons to open the lens. The lens remained shut and the camera continued to dangle. Finally, she had to solicit help from a water park staff member. Being all of sixteen-years-old, he couldn’t offer much assistance, and finally had to lead her to a supervisor. By this time she is panicking and starts yelling, “Just pull it off!!”

Finally, another grown-up sees the crowd that has now formed and offers her a fresh pair of batteries to jump start her camera and release it vice from under her arms. Thankfully, it worked– but the experience has completely traumatized her.

As for me, I am heading to the gym. But, first I’m stopping at the nearest convenience store for back-up camera batteries.

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