I was asked to serve as a guest host for a local talk show that airs on cable television. The show is produced through an evangelical television network. Although the show I hosted was secular in nature, it was filmed at the studios where many “Praise Programs” take place.

The set epitomizes the stereotypes that follow televangelists. In fact, most of the ingredients for a Saturday Night Live skit were present: The dramatic gold staircase, velvet chairs, and white grand piano were complimented by enormous oil paintings capturing Jesus at key Biblical milestones. The only things missing were the overzealous preacher with bad hair and the gospel-singing wife with too much mascara.

I have had several encounters with this cable program. The first occurred while I served as the PR person for a local non-profit organization. I was asked to appear on the program and share my organization’s mission with their viewers. Seconds after the interview began, I started to cough. It began as an attempt to clear my throat and progressed to the point where my eyes were watering and I could no longer speak. Because the show was being taped, I expected the director to step in anytime and kill the interview. However, no one yelled "CUT!" and the host continued by attempting to talk over the choking sounds. Periodically, I could get the word “water” out – however, he either couldn't hear me or ignored my request and proceeded with an impromptu monologue to pass the time.

Finally, a camera man handed me a glass of water. I took one sip and started choking again causing the water to spew out of my mouth and onto the velvet chair occupied by the visibly irritated host. What’s amazing is that he never stopped talking. He continued no matter how much of a spectacle I was making.

After an eternity, the interview was finally over and the director emerged and thanked me for coming. Still barely able to speak, I managed to say, “You are not going to air this are you?” “Sure!" he said, "It wasn’t as bad as you thought.” “I spit on your host!” I choked. He tried to assure me with “I don’t think anyone will notice”. With the help of hand gestures and a returning voice, I insisted that he not air the tape and begged him to reshoot. He finally agreed, but was not happy about the inconvenience.

The second incident is almost as bad as the first.

To be continued…

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