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Not So Perfect Parent BLOG |
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April 2008
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I took my oldest son to a Back-to-School Skating party. He was so excited to lace on his skates and take a spin around the rink. However, I knew we were in trouble when he fell down six times before making it onto the floor. It was bad. I mean really bad. My son could not maintain any balance on his wobbly shoes. In fact, he could not stand up for more than 3 seconds let alone make any progress around the rink. I tried to help him, but only caused more problems as he clung onto my shirt before we both hit the ground.
During the event, I confessed to a close friend how distraught I was over my son’s lack of coordination. I started to tear-up until she pointed to her child who was face down with his skates in the air. She stated, “Paige you are not a failure because your child does not know how to skate." What did she know! I knew the truth. My child was making a fool out of himself and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and we made an impromptu exit. When we returned home, my husband and son had this dialogue, What!! I couldn’t believe it. His response was so sincere. He impression of the event was so positive. He had a wonderful time and genuinely believed his skating abilities were top notch! He was not insecure about his performance – instead he really enjoyed the experience. I stood there ashamed. My interpretation of success was vastly different than my son’s. Shame on me for imposing my assumption of the situation on my child. I should have celebrated the fact that my little boy spent an hour and a half trying over and over to gain balance and make a full circle around the rink. Instead of being preoccupied with his ten thousand falls, I should have celebrated the fact that he did not get discouraged and he did not give-up. I would give anything in the world for the confidence that my son exhibits to remain untarnished by society’s interpretation of success. Until that time, I am committed to finding other ways to celebrate success even if he doesn’t run the fastest or throw the ball the farthest. In fact, I hear that there are openings in the Chess Club! 1 CommentsLeave a comment |
Paige,
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. You made me cry, laugh and then cry again :)
We can all take a lesson of success as defined by a child. Often- I am amazed at my daughter's definition of success. She struggles mightily in school but instead of crying over every C or C- she celebrates every accomplishment no matter how small. For example, she was telling me about a very difficult concept she was struggling to understand in grammar class but instead of dwelling on her bad grade she proudly announced- “I was having bad day but as we lined up to go to lunch my teacher bent down and said- “good job Jessica and thank you for always trying so hard. You are one of my best students”. Wow- what a lesson for me- It’s not always about getting an easy A but rather the effort and the ability to give something your All. That skill will take you much further in life. I am continually blessed by my children.
Thank you for this opportunity to share with other moms. I enjoy your segments and your blog very much.