Tuesday Night: Speedy World Record Intro:

I had gotten a phone call from my world record holding knife throwing buddy, Throwdini from the Record Holders Republic. "Fran... we are honoring Brazilian entrepreneur, Ricardo Bellino in Florida tomorrow... Ricardo is being honored with a world record as the fastest deal maker... He pitched an idea to Donald Trump in three minutes flat... and signed a deal. We thought it would be great if you could do a fast talking introduction for his award. I realize we can't fly you here since you are traveling... but can you throw together a quick opening that we can use at the ceremony and send it to me via an MP3?"

I've worked with Record Holders Republic before and was happy to do it. After all how long could it take? I looked up information on Ricardo, put together an intro and proceeded to record it via the step-by-step instructions that my part-time assistant Vanessa gave me on recording Mp3's on my Mac. I had done this before for voiceover auditions with her in the room, so I was confident I could do it solo.

I wrote the intro, practiced it and recorded it in about 10 minutes. Then sent it to Throwdini. I went upstairs to pack. When I got back to my computer I saw an email from Throwdini. "Fran I can't open the file. Please resend it."

I resent the file, and continued to get ready for my morning plane ride.

I got another email. "My computer sees the file, but it won't open. How are you sending this?" I checked my instructions step by step and for added measure I sent it also as a wav file. My son and my boyfriend are great with PC's but when it comes to Mac's... well that's a whole other story – so they were of no use. It was too late to call Vanessa, since she's a high school kid, so I was on my own.

This time Throwdini's note had a bit more panic..."Capo... I can't open the file ...can you send it another way that won't destroy my computer?"

For the next 3 hours I kept resending the file with every extension I could find on my computer. I sent it in Greek, Pig Latin, through a black hole, and started adding any extension I could ever remember. I re-recorded it about 20 times, thinking if I started from scratch it would then magically work. My son heard me re – recording it and yelled from his room, "Mom, at this point I have the piece memorized!

It was becoming the longest 1-minute piece I've ever done. Finally at 2 a.m. Throwdini said he was able to open one of the files. He asked if I could resend that good one again, just in case. I had no clue which one worked. I told him to hold onto that one, and I'd figure it out once I got back from my trip.

Satisfied I went to sleep. I had three hours before the car service would be here to pick take me to the airport.

Wednesday Morning:

The service came as scheduled.

It's a very nervous driver who parked in the middle of my driveway.

I ask my son to switch cars. He goes outside and the two of them hit into each other. No damage is done. I take pictures. The driver says his day is ruined.

He starts driving me to the airport. About a mile from my house he says, "Sorry I can't do this?"

"Do what?" I say.

"I can't drive you... the car feels funny. I feel funny."

Talk about the perfect opportunity for a comic line... but I held my tongue and instead offered to drive the limo. He was not pleased with my suggestion.

"No, you cannot drive the limo. Insurance will kill me. My boss will kill me. I will have to drive you very slowly."

"Slowly! You don't' understand, I have a plane to catch". All of a sudden I unintentionally burst into my fast talking, "Listen... I have to be at the Mall of America for a face off! Papa Johns is pitting me the Worlds Fastest Talker, against 13-year-old LG National Texting Champion, Morgan Pozgar, to determine what is faster – ordering a pizza the old-fashioned way via phone or ordering via text message.

I can't miss this... there has been tons of press throughout the country, on CNN, NBC, Fox... all talking about this! This text messaging thing is big news... Papa Johns is leading the entire quick-serve restaurant industry across another threshold... They were the first to do online ordering you know... Papa Johns will be the first national pizza chain to offer text messaging... no one has done this! You know there are over 18 BILLION text messages sent a month in the US... they are going to change the way we do things... don't you get it? With a few keystrokes... people can order a pizza... done... just like that... not that I know how really to text message... but I'm part of it... and there are going to be prizes, free pizzas, free phones, balloons, cameras, not to mention this is my job...."

I stop talking... I look at the eyes of the driver in the rear view mirror. He had no clue what I was rambling on about. I might as well have been speaking, Boswanian. All I know is he is driving 5 miles an hour! At that rate I could walk to Minneapolis.

"Forget it, just please turn around... I'll drive myself."

He brings me back home – slowly... I throw my bags into my Jeep and speed off, leaving him standing by his car.

I drive the hour to LaGuardia airport... park my car and make it just in time to catch the plane.

On the plane I relax. I go over what I am supposed to order from Papa John's during the contest.

I arrive in Minneapolis at 5:30 p.m. and head straight to the Mall of America to meet the gang which consists of the PR firm- Fleishman-Hillard reps, Jen and Doug, the Pozgar family- Morgan and her mom, Shannon and the LG representatives – Jackie (Ogilvy) and Demetra.

After a brief run through for the next day's event we head to dinner at the Rain Forest Café.

If you've never been to the café... it's a treat. I actually have a giant green frog in my living room from that place...

The atmosphere is like a tropical jungle, and we are sitting right next to the Gorillas. We all get along fantastic, each of us take turns telling stories... that is in between the Rain Forests very lively rendition of "Happy Birthday... sung every 7 minutes... apparently everyone except us at the restaurant was celebrating. At one point I kidded with the waiter about it and said that it was Morgan's birthday... the next thing we know waiters gather around the table and break into song... placing a birthday cake in front of Morgan. I think these people must have been karaoke singers in another life.

After dinner, we walked around the mall for a while. Jackie said that she was impressed with my adventure stories and wanted to order signed copies of my Adrenaline Adventure books to give as gifts. I thought that was so cool.

After about an hour, we all parted ways and made plans to reconvene in the AM for press interviews and our "showdown."

At 10:30 the next morning, Morgan, her mom and I met in the lobby of our hotel (A hotel btw that houses the largest indoor water slide). We took the shuttle bus over to the mall. Shannon told me that her daughter thought I was one of the coolest people she ever met. Coming from a teenager that was huge praise... I told her that I thought her daughter was pretty cool herself. (Geez some competitors we make!)

After our big four minute ride we were at the mall. The staging area looked great, with signage of the event strategically placed all over the mall. The way they had it set up, it was like we were doing a heavy weight-boxing match, complete with whistles, music, and referees. There was also a ton of balloons suspended above us, waiting to be released upon the winner.

We still had an hour before the event so Morgan, Shannon and I decided to start out our day with an adrenaline rush. In case you are the one caveman who hasn't heard about the Mall of America (don't tell the Geico caveman I said that), the Mall is the largest in the country... located in Bloomington, Minnesota it has more than 500 specialty stores, 50 restaurants, 7 nightclubs and 14 movie theaters and an indoor amusement park.

Since anyone who knows or hires me realizes I always need at least one adrenaline rush per trip I opted to ride the bigger roller coaster they had at the mall, and what better way to do it than with my "competitor" Morgan and her mom. We hopped on the ride and had a great time. (Now if we were evil witches Morgan would be hoping I would lose my voice screaming and I'd make sure she'd "accidentally bang her texting fingers against the coaster)... but since we the good witches, we had fun, got off and were ready to do our event.

At 10:30 the event began. Camera crews rolled in, and both of us were interviewed.

Soon after the contest began.

Rocky music played... and the emcee, Doug jumped to the stage, introduced us, "We're thrilled to have with us today two champions. Two people who can communicate at a rate faster than anyone else in the country. Two people who have been gearing up for this day for their whole lives. (wink, wink).

Two people who will help us answer the question of a lifetime... What is the faster way to order a pizza? By phone or by text? And they are going to square off shortly in a head-to-head race to see which method is faster!"

Music then came up..."In this corner we have Fran Capo, internationally known as the world's fastest talker... Fran can speak more than 600 words per minute!"

In the other corner we have "Morgan Pozgar, a 13-year old Pennsylvania native who was recently crowned the "Fastest Texter" by LG Mobile Phones..."

Any words you like to say to Fran?

Morgan then texted..."Lady you are going down!"

At that point I just looked at her... "Listen kid... is your mother here? She needs to put you in a corner and give you a time out."

The crowd laughed.

With that Doug explained the rules..." At my signal, Fran and Morgan will both order a large pepperoni pizza, a large specialty "The Works" pizza, a side order of breadsticks, Papa's Chicken Wings, and a two-liter of coke."

The official timekeepers in their referee outfits jumped to the stage.

We both took out our phones. I had the number of the nearest Papa Johns scribbled on a piece of paper. Morgan meanwhile was allowed to preset her favorite orders at papajohns.com into her phone.

We both waited. Doug gave the call, "Fran and Morgan... ready, set... place your order."

I dialed the number. The phone rang three times. Meanwhile out of the corner of my eye, I could see Morgan's thumb going a mile a minute. Finally I got my guy on the phone..."Hi, I'd like to order a.... no wait... don't put me on hold... AHHHHH."

One old lady up front yelled, "Tell him to take your order now! You go girl! Flap those lips."

Meanwhile, Morgan's' thumbs were flying fast. Not a word on her side of the stage.

The guy came back on the phone...'Yes, sir I'd like to place an order... no I don't want to hear the specials... please I'm in the middle of a contest here at the mall... ah... yes ready... Okay I'd like to order..."

I ran through the items... I had to repeat them again because he couldn't write that quickly... then he wanted my credit card number for the pizza... I read them off silently (after all didn't want to play Santa for the crowd), since I was whispering the numbers I had to read them again (out of the corner of my eye I see some kids trying to write it down... so I gave a bogus number... that'll get them!) By the time my phone order was done... Morgan was already eating her pizza and smiling gleefully at me. The old lady smacked her knees, "Well I'll be damned!"

I grabbed the slice of pizza from Morgan, Doug raised Morgan's arm in victory, balloons fell everywhere on the stage and pizza was given out freely to everyone.

Doug looked at me... "Fran looks like texting was the faster way to go. Any words to your competitor?"

"Okay Morgan... I'm going to learn that texting thing and challenge you next year!" She smiled. I smiled knowing my lack of technology.

Then I turned to the audience... Actually, I have no clue how to text, how many parents out there are the same way?"

Almost every hand went up.

"These kids are amazing... I don't know how their thumbs don't fall off? But hey if they can do it we can right? Shouldn't be too hard, they say it's just three simple steps... but for now I gotta tell you... I'm still going to order by phone... as long as I get my pizza in the end, I'm a happy camper."

The audience was just nodding and munching on their free pizza. But there was still one more thing in store for them... the audience had filled out prize cards prior to the event. Morgan was now going to text message "You're a winner with Papa John's and LG" to 10 phone numbers in the audience.

Screams were heard in the crowd as each phone was won. We both received a final round of applause and then the event was wrapped.

Doug and I called, Jeff... the guy who had brought me into this campaign and gave him a speedy wrap up of how it went. We took a group shot of all involved and then went on our merry ways.

With only a few hours before I had to hop on the plane home, I wandered around the mall, laughing to myself and loving my life... I got to bring laughter, new technology and pizza to everyone.

As I walked my phone buzzed. Not a ring, a buzz... I saw a little letter thing in the top... "Ah a text message." I hit the button and read it, It was from Ricardo Bellino.

Fran - I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you VERY MUCH for your lovely (fast talking) message. I will keep it in my personal file regarding my World Record ceremony. Please send me your address, so I can send you a signed copy of my book.

Warmest Regards from a Record Holder to a Record Holder!

Love & Kisses, Ricardo R. Bellino - Deal Maker"

I smiled and stopped walking right there in the mall. "You know Capo, I could get used to this text messaging thing after all!"