We arrived at the aquarium at 10 A.M. with camera crew, which consisted of two cameramen, Jarred and Steve in tow. We had to get there when a trainer was available, and before the public programs began.

Fran introduced us to Janet Sottile. She is one of the seal and sea lion trainers and has been with the aquarium for five years. Fran had arranged for John and I to have a special hands-on session with these wonderful creatures.

We went backstage to where these mammals are kept. As soon as we walked in they eyed us up and down from inside their pens. Probably saying…”Okay who's the fast talking chick and fitness guy?” They were bobbing their heads ready to come out and meet us.

Janet gave us a little background on our first little buddy.
“This is Bernie…”
Before she could finish John said, “Isn’t that a harbor seal? They belong to the group called the pinnipeds, which I believe is Latin for feathered feet and includes the sea lions, seals and walruses”.
I looked around to see if there was a teleprompter - Nope, none. “Okay, John, how the hell do you know that?”
Janet smiled. We all were impressed. I remembered this about John before…we had gone to the zoo once and he was rattling off the names of uncommon creatures…I thought for a moment that he had one of those CIA type earpieces and was being fed the information…and that I was on a hidden episode of Candid Camera Animal Planet.

Janet continued, “Harbor seals are found on the North, East and West coasts of North America. They can live up to 30 years of age. As you can see seals have no external ears and their eyes are prominent. Unlike most other pinnipeds, harbor seals are generally solitary…they rarely interact with each other, except when it comes time for mother-pup bonding.”

I piped in. “Well this Bernie is a guy seal, correct? So I guess he won’t be doing any of that bonding stuff. Does he like humans?”

“Yes, Bernie is friendly. But I’ll tell you where you can stand to touch him. In the wild if threatened a seal may respond by snorting, growling, lunging, scratching or any other aggressive gesture.”

“John, I think you should stand next to him…after all you can fight him off with your muscles.” I smiled. John’s right hand lady, Carlene was standing by with still camera, ready to grab any unexpected shots.

With that brief intro, Bernie’s door was opened and he came lolling out. We all knelt down to be at Bernie level.

Then to butter him up a bit I decided to give him a kiss. Hey it works in the human world; why not try it in the animal kingdom?

Bernie apparently is sentimental so as not to leave John out, he reached over and planted one on John’s cheek.

Then we decided to put Janet’s training to the test. I showed Bernie a copy of John’s tape and explained to him that we needed him to work out. We all got down in our pushup position and proceeded to do pushups.

Apparently, Bernie was not into an AM workout, so Janet had to coax him a little.

I was hoping Bernie got the picture soon, because I was having to hold this push up position for quite a while. There was no way on camera that I was going to collapse before the seal. So we waited. Finally, he lifted his little head. Have to give Bernie credit though; he’s got shorter, stouter flippers than his buddies the sea lions…so for a harbor seal he did a-okay.

We all thanked the little guy, fed him some squid, mollusks and other crustaceans and sent him back to his cozy home.

Next up was, Otis…(and yes John knew off the bat that it was a California Seal Lion) the guys that do the most tricks for the viewing public in zoos and aquariums.

Janet once again gave us a brief background on the Otis family line.
“Sea lions are social animals and groups rest closely together on land. They are easier to train. As you can see they have “legs” which end in flippers instead of feet. Sea lions look like seals but are really only distant relatives. They are known for their intelligence, playfulness and noisy barking.”

“Ah Fran, this is you in the animal world.” John smiled.
I smiled, “Could be.”
To test this out, I did my fast talking rendition of the Three Little Pigs for Otis. He just stared at me as if to say is that the best you got?

Then he let out a huge bark. I told him he wins hands down in the sea lion world. I guess he liked my compliment cause he planted a huge unexpected wet kiss on my cheek. You don’t know the meaning of a wet kiss, till you have been kissed by a sea lion!

After the mushy stuff was over…he got a parting snack and then went back to his cozy little abode. Before heading in, he waved goodbye (Okay, yes this was on command). Then he barked out some final remarks, but even John with his command of Latin didn’t catch the full meaning. I think he told me to watch out, that he was coming after my Guinness title but I couldn’t be sure.

Finally, last up was Osborne, no relation to Ozzy.
He too was a sea lion, but this guy was ready to show us his bag of tricks. I explained to him who John was and he told me that he had been doing the workouts for quite a while. John and I were quite impressed, so we put him to the test.

We all lined up and did the fitness stretch. Not only did Osborne follow along, but he was apparently way more limber than we were at that hour of the morning.

We fed Osborne some fish…which he caught mid air and then we were on our way to visit the rest of the aquarium.

Before exploring, Carlene suggested we snap a picture. So Fran Hackett, another trainer, John and myself, posed down right there in front of the pinnepeds. As you can see, the other trainer was trying to follow the seal’s lead and steal a kiss, grab a muscle and do it all with a little dainty leg pose. John didn’t seem to mind.

Not to be left out, we took a separate shot with Janet, our wonderful co-hostess and trainer.

For the next hour, Fran played tour guide around the aquarium telling us about all the wonderful events coming up, including the celebration of the 50th anniversary of the New York Aquarium, which kicks off June 6th, and runs all month long. We offered to help out with the festivities and Fran happily accepted.

John and I left the aquarium with a cool segment in the can, and a wonderful appreciation up close and personal of the penniped world.
Till next time…may all your adventures be fabulous.

Information:
New York Aquarium
Surf Avenue & West 8th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11244
718-265-3448
718-265- FISH
www.nyaquarium.com