I called up Dee and left a message on her answering machine introducing myself and telling her that I would be happy to donate a basket filled with one of each of my books (autographed), a packet of my African greeting cards, and a certificate from my Titanic World Record dive along with a 1912 penny that was down by the wreck site.

She called me back a few hours later while I was shopping in the supermarket. I thought it very ironic how we were talking about people going hungry, and there I was in the midst of isles of food that one could buy, if they only had the money.

Dee talked about the organization and all the great things they've done so far. Then she mentioned she might need an auctioneer for the night and would I be willing to do it. My fast talking lips and mind started racing how I could pull it off, but I still had the possible cruise ship gig pending and couldn't commit.

As luck would have it the cruise got postponed to a later date. Unfortunately it was too late to do the auction part for Island Harvest, but Dee invited me to come to the event anyway.

That night I drove out to the Crest Hollow Country Club where the event was being held. There were two Island Harbor food trucks in the driveway, prominently displayed as a reminder for all.

As I walked upstairs I was amazed at how much effort went into this event. At the top of the staircase was a giant ice sculpture with the words, "Island Harvest" etched in ice.

I went into the ballroom where the silent auction was being held. Honestly, I have to admit, I had heard of silent auctions before, but didn't really know how they worked. The concept itself seemed funny. I imaged a bunch of mimes bidding on items, and an auctioneer with laryngitis mouthing the prices. But in reality, it was two extremely long tables laid out with every kind of item imaginable up for auction. In front of each auction item, was a silver framed, typed explanation of the item. The starting bid was listed on a piece of paper in front, and people would sign their name and put their bid next to it. The highest bid on the paper in front of each item, by the end of the allotted time, won that item.

It was fantastic to see so many generous donated items from local Long Island businesses. But what also struck me was that there were items from people that didn't even live anywhere near Long Island. For example, Dr. Phil donated some tickets to see his show live. The NFL kicked in some tickets as well. Tickets to see Beauty and the Beast, The Big Apple Circus, Hootie and the Blowfish, Oliver Newton John as well as autographed photos from the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils, were all silently waiting to be bid on. National chains like PC Richards, Canon USA, Keyspan and Walbaum's had something to offer, and of course their title sponsor Citibank was in full array. And this was just the silent auction portion of the show!

As I was admiring the stuff, I spotted Catherine, the birthday girl, who told me about this marvelous event. We stopped and took a picture by my item, #305- labeled "Fast talkin' Speed Readin'. I have to say I felt pretty good being amongst this group of donors. Its one thing to read about something on a piece of paper, quite another to see it all come to life.

Before coming to the event, I was told by Dee Doherty to search out and introduce myself to Don Miller, the PR guy for the event. Don in turn introduced me to Jim Douglas and Kim Berk, the two radio personalities from KJOY radio who were donating their emceeing skills for the event.

Being a performer and one who likes to help, it's hard for me to sit back idly and twiddle my tongue. So, as the hired photographer was snapping promotional pictures of the event, I came up with an idea. (Me, come up with an on the spot idea? What a surprise )

Since Jim and Kim were making announcements to bid on the silent auction, I thought that if I could do my fast-talking for the folks during one of the announcements, it would serve as a variation on the theme. The fast talking would hopefully capture the audience's attention in a different way, and then I could spurt out a quick rendition of why they were here, which was basically to spend lots of money for a good cause and go home happy with a really cool item.

I pitched the idea to Don and he was game. So the KJOY jocks, Jim and Kim introduced me and asked me some questions about how I broke my world record. I ended with saying, "Do you want to hear a sample?" They said, "Absolutely!" I went into warp speed mode, "Folks remember why you are here. Island Harvest serves as a bridge between those who have surplus food and those who need it. Island Harvest has rescued 36 million pounds of food, supplementing 28 millions meals. So put your bids in now, so they can continue their great work." The crowd looked up wondering who this nut was talking a mile a minute. But I got their attention, albeit briefly. Then I turned it back over to the radio celebrities. Now I felt good. I at least helped a little in motivating people.

With that mission accomplished, I walked around the place. There was such a positive energy flow, it was wonderful. On top of the friendly atmosphere, there were tons of delicious foods and desserts to sample from all the local restaurants. Each food station had trays of delicacies, decorated in such a fashion that Martha Stewart would sit up and take notice.

Each table was unique. Some looked so classy I was scared to touch them. Last thing I wanted was to be the one that knocked down the caviar, and be there on my hands and knees trying to scrape up the fish eggs. Yeah, that would be a sight.

One table that really caught my eye in particular was a place called, "The Sexy Salad." That's probably because it's the comic in me who likes bright, shinny objects. (Yes, those things amuse me.)

But the truth is I have never seen a salad look so good, fresh and well, sexy. Of course in my mind, the name Sexy Salad, conjured up a salad with a Mae West voice, swinging her lettuce hips, and wearing a slinky red cabbage boa, featured on the cover of the next Frederick's of Hollywood catalog. (Yeah, I know, where's that strait jacket.)

Anyway, while cartoon images of food were dancing in my head, the bidding for the silent auction was coming to an end. Everyone was then asked to go into another room, sit at these huge round tables and wait for the "formal" presentations to begin. I expected long drawn out speeches. But I was pleasantly surprised. Each speaker was funny, brief and powerful.

First up was the president & CEO of the company, Randi Shubin Dresner. She revealed an amazing statistic that stuck in my mind; 80,000 children on Long Island go hungry every night. That's huge! The kicker is it's not like these kids are homeless in the streets. They live in real brick and mortar homes, but because of rising costs or unemployment, their families can barely pay the rents, much less buy baby formula or have a full meal for these kids to eat. It was weird to think these people are not homeless, yet they are staving!

Luckily with the various Island Harvest programs these statistics are slowly being turned around. For example, the Turkey & Trimmings Campaign - which is held during Thanksgiving, collects approximately 10,000 turkeys and supplies the trimmings providing families throughout Long Island with a complete turkey dinner.

The problem is, that pesky thing called eating needs to occur daily. So, Island Harvest takes care of that with other programs like, the Annual Hunger Awareness/ Coin Harvest Campaign –which reaches out to over 80 schools, involving the participation of about 55,000 students. During a two-week period between February and May, these students collect coins through car washes, bake sales, lemonade stands or by simply asking their family members. "Hey mom, you got around ten dollars in spare change? It's for a good cause, and I'll even clean my room." (Okay, maybe the cleaning the room part is pushing it for the kids, but the coins in turn do buy more meals.)

So with those cool programs in place, you'd think Island harvest would stop there. Nope, they just came out with a new program that bridges the gap between the kids eating meals in school and them being able to eat on the weekend at home…this program is called, The Weekend Food to Go - Backpack Program . With this, thousands of children are discreetly handed backpacks filled with nutritious food to take home for the weekend. So they get to eat food in school, and now they can know they can eat at home as well. And their self - esteem is not compromised because it's done discreetly.

Next up to the plate was Rabbi Marc Gellman. His role was to introduce the two honorees for the evening. I liked this guy from his opening line. He turned to the seated actor, Brian Dennehy and said, "You know I admire your work. People say that, but I really mean it. When I was young and distracted, I saw the movie "10" with Bo Derek 194 times - of course I watched it for your character Donald, the bartender." The audience laughed and applauded.

I turned to Catherine, "Who is this comedic rabbi?"
"Oh that's Rabbi Gellman, he's part of the God Squad."
"The God Squad? What is that, a new detective show with religious figures who have God on their side as a hit man?"
"Almost. He and Father Tom, the other honoree tonight, are a team. They are real practicing clergymen, but they are also media celebrities. They have been doing a cable program for over 10 years together, and now are regulars on Imus in the Morning. They were even portrayed as animated figures in an HBO special".
"Wow, I guess that's what happens when God is your agent."

Anyway, the crowd loved the Rabbi. The Rabbi in turn introduced actor, Brian Dennehy, who has been active in Island Harvest for many years. Brian opened with, "How do you follow the rabbi? And they say, I'm the actor!" Then he went on to talk about hunger, "I've never missed a meal as you can obviously tell." The audience laughed. He continued, "But there are people just 20 miles from where we are right now who have never known the security of where their next meal will come from. Island harvest's goal is to change that."

My throat got a lump in it. Wow, these people knew how to zing you from laughter to a punch in the gut. I had no idea this whole thing was going to be so touching. At this point, I think I would have felt guilty chewing gum.

Brian finished up his speech and then tag teamed by bringing up, Father Thomas Hartman, or Father Tom as he is known to all. The father opened up with, "And who wants to follow a Rabbi and an Actor!"

I had to check my roster again, to make sure I wasn't at a comedy gig. These people had great timing, and they had a message to boot.

The father talked briefly. He thanked the 710 volunteers who test the surplus food to make sure it is good before they give it to the families. He talked about how hunger affects all race, religions and ages. He talked about Island Harvest's founder, and how she made this dream into a reality. Applause, laughter, tears…every emotion was hit.

Then, Jim and Kim went on, "Now who wants to follow a rabbi, an actor and a priest?" They turned and smiled sheepishly at the auctioneer. He came to the stage, shrugged his shoulders and everyone laughed. Then the bidding began. The familiar cadence of auctionairese (yes, I made up that word) offered up a full week vacation in the Florida Keys; a limo driven evening escorting the top bidder to an Elton John concert; eight tickets to see Brian Dennehy in Inherit the Wind on Broadway complete with the lucky bidder attending a black tie cast and crew party.

At one point, Catherine, her friend, Joey and I slipped out. The results of the silent auction were on the board. Catherine had won two items and a

woman by the name of Sheila Kastner won my basket of books.
As I was heading out, I happened to see the name Sheila on a woman's name tag. I looked up and there she was holding my basket of books. Never one to miss an opportunity, I took out my trusty camera and had someone snap a picture of us.

The event was still going on as I was sitting comfortably in my Jeep navigating my two-hour ride home. The wonderful generous atmosphere of the event, lingered in my body. Besides being glad to participate in such an event, I now had a whole new appreciation for all the food I ate.

As I looked down at my stomach, I sucked it in. Luckily in my life I've never had to worry about my next meal either. But the real deal is, plenty of people right in our own backyards do, and just because we don’t' see the problem, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Luckily though with organizations like Island Harvest, something can be done and with their dedication and success rate, they may soon reach their goal of wiping out hunger on Long Island. In the meantime, they are doing a great job, helping one meal at a time.

Note:
The event that night raised, $302,000. If you would like to donate or find out more about Island Harvest, go to islandharvest.org