Interested? Playing a good-natured joke on an audience and fast-talking…that was right up my alley. I called the casting agent, introduced myself and they forwarded my website to the client, EMBARQ (A highly innovative telecommunications company that just recently separated from Sprint.)

It wasn't until I hung up the phone that I noticed page two of the email. It read, "You must also have a photographic memory. The speech is 6 pages long and must be memorized and delivered in fast forward mode. This is a skill that very few people have. We need someone with extensive experience in this area".

Oh boy, I've memorized scripts before, but this was going to be in record time. I figured by the time we had the conference call, worked out the details of the script, and then it was sent to me, I'd have a total of three days to memorize it! And that's with trying to fit it in between a lecture I was doing, two radio shows and a comedy gig.

I quickly called my good friend and memory expert, Jim Kwik. (You may remember I wrote about him in a previous blog). I told Jim the situation. He said, "Scripts are the hardest thing to memorize because they are precise. Even in memory championships, that section of the competition is always the most difficult. But that being said, I can definitely give you tips to memorize it quicker. The speed however will be up to you. But, if anyone can do it, you can." I thanked him and hung up.

A few days later I received the scripts. They were six individual scripts marked, "elevator scripts." What the heck were elevator scripts? I checked my info to make sure this company was recently separated from Sprint and not Otis Elevators.

Then it dawned on me…"Oh, I get it! Scripts to describe a product in the time it would take you to ride an elevator." Very clever. Of course upon first read I thought, you know this better be one long elevator ride.

There was a script about the company, one about their local and long distance service, one about their high speed internet, one about their wireless, one about their dish video service and one about their small business bundles. I looked over some of the terminology in the scripts and made a note to ask them what these things meant, like "Smart Connect" and "Integrated wireless. It's always easier for me to memorize if I understand what I'm reciting.

Anyway, the same evening I received the script I had a lecture. But Jim was nice enough to agree to meet me afterwards, at 10:30 p.m. at a diner. We worked out a plan for memorizing the scripts based on a technique he taught me. (He also gave me some trade secrets - each one adding 10% to the memory process - of course to learn that you'd have to take Jim's class. Sorry!) We worked till 1 a.m. To up my odds even further, I decided to get somewhat artistic.

So along with the memory techniques of anchoring a line to a section of my house, I drew pictures. My entire house for the next few days was filled with signs.

Each room was a script. My son's room was "Local and long distance." You can imagine his expression when he came home from school and saw giant notes taped to various sections of his room, "The most widely deployed capable network in the market" on his mirror, and "911 works!" taped to his computer monitor.

My kitchen became the hub for the "Dish Video" script.

For example, my dishwasher became "Gets over 125 international channels, while most other places only provide 8 -12." To remember this, I pictured 125 people of all nationalities waving flags and having a rally inside my dishwasher.
Yeah I know, straitjacket time again. (And to think, you're just reading this…you should have seen the expressions on my son's friends when they entered the house!)

With artistic scripts in place, I was ready for the conference call the next day.

On the line were Julie and Loyd from the client, EMBARQ and Jennifer from the ad agency, Mullen. We all discussed the strategy to make this run smoothly.
Of course as is my nature I asked a ton of questions. The cool thing was the more I learned about the company the more impressed I was. Their Smart Connect was their own innovation that allows calls to move seamlessly between a business' wireless and wireline networks – without interrupting the call. Another words if you're talking on your land line phone and you have to run outside to your car to head to another meeting, your call automatically moves from your land line phone to your cell phone without manual transfer. If you still don't get it… you don't have to hang up the phone, redial and call the person back! The call is continued and not dropped, so the person on the other end wouldn't even have a clue. So let's say you are supposed to be on a conference call and you want to head out to the beach…only kidding. Anyway, this fascinated me.

As the conference call continued, I also found out that the CEO, Dan Hesse, had three priorities that he stressed to his employees; 1) Volunteer in your neighborhood 2) Recognize each other and 3) Know your elevator speeches.

Out of curiosity I asked how many employees knew the scripts. I mean, after all, if these people knew them, I didn't want to look like a fool if I missed a word.

But I found out that since the company was new (May 2006) that they were still learning them. I made a mental note to check out the employees in the elevators when I got there. If I saw them mumbling to themselves…I'd know I was in trouble.

Then I said, "Hey, wait what about that second priority? You know that little detail of recognizing each other. What if my fellow workers see me in the audience and don't recognize me. We better come up with a good story".

Since the gig was in Kansas City, I figured they'd notice my New York accent. So my cover was I just moved there 2 weeks ago and I worked in finance - a department that doesn't have much interaction with people.

Julie asked how I was coming along with the scripts. I said, "Honestly I'll have them memorized, just not sure if it's going to be at world record speed."

Lloyd (also from EMBARQ) suggested a confidence monitor. I had never heard that term but immediately I envisioned an elementary school kid dressed in a crossing guard uniform standing next to me going…"Now I'm the confidence monitor and what I say goes…You are great. You'll do fine. You can do it. So there!"

Turns out it's much more tame. It's a monitor on the floor of the stage that is covered. Actors on Broadway use these (who knew!) On it, are slides of the script.

I liked the idea…it was a good backup. So we decided on the night I flew in, we'd do a trial run to make sure I looked natural reading off the monitors. After all how convincing would I be as a plant if I was caught reading the script.

With everything set I flew into Kansas City on Sunday night. The limo drive from the airport to the studio office was 45 minutes - plenty of time to practice the scripts. At this point I knew them backwards and forwards literally! But I decided a real life trial run couldn't hurt. So when the poor, unsuspecting limo driver asked, "What company do you work for? I broke into the speeches at full speed…"Do you know EMBARQ has over a hundred years of experience with trained technicians with over 15 to 18 years average experience. They offer many services, on one bill, great deal." I think if he wasn't driving his eyes would have rolled back in his head.

At the event area, we did a practice run with the confidence monitors. I felt as long as I made some nervous gesture of covering my eyes or something I could hide if I looked down at the monitor. A few trials and I felt okay.

Nick (their ace computer guy) and Rob (their producer) worked with me, showing me exactly how a webcast worked and explaining that not only the 250 employees in the office were going to see this little prank, but the 20,000 employees viewing via the webcast. Okay…better practice those speeches a little faster.

The next morning at 9 AM, Julie picked me up and I was secretly escorted to Dan's office so we could go over our interaction. We shook hands, made our plan and the next time I saw him would be the real deal.

Meanwhile, in the hallway we had to act just like I was an employee. I waved to people, said hello and then of course, checked to see if anyone was mumbling in the elevators…but all lips were still.

At 10 a.m. with all seated, the webcast began. Dan sprang up to the stage, opened with a few jokes, talked about their company, and was passionate about how fast they were growing and their new direction. He was a corporate warrior planning the next strategic moves. He also talked about his three pet "asks". It was then I found out that recognizing each other meant sending thank you notes and not waving to each other in the hallway. So much for waving, at least my cover was safe.

Two other speakers were part of the webcast. Mike Fuller the Chief Operating Officer gave the run down of how they were growing (but with numbers, charts and details), talked about stores they would open and basically gave the feel that this is a company you'd want to have stock in. Harry Campbell, the president of their Consumer organization, was a real techy type, and a fast talker like me. He reminded me of that old crazy Eddie commercial…"If you're not supporting the company, you're insane." Okay, he didn't say that…but he had that energy. Hell, I was ready to go out there and sell some product myself.

All along while seated in the crowd, I was taking notes pretending I was just one of the gang. Then something caught my eye. I noticed that no matter how briefly someone looked down at the confidence monitor you could tell they were reading. Not a good thing! At that moment I decided, "I can't take even the slightest chance at blowing the joke. I know the script…Capo just do your thing. You don’t need no stinkin monitor."

Then as if Dan heard my thoughts, he looks at the audience and says, "So before I close this meeting today I thought I would invite someone up here to see how well they know the elevator speeches. I have a roster of attendees here…let me see." He paused long enough so everyone in the audience could squirm. It was like being called to the principal's office in front of the whole school. I heard one lady in back of me say…"If he calls on me, I'm gonna faint. "

"Is Fran Capo here?" Dan called out.
I said, "Oh great!" and slowly raised my hand.
"Please come to the stage."
I went up, shook his hand. "Nice to meet you sir."
"Where do you work Fran?"
"Well you see sir that's the thing. I work in the finance department. I really don't even deal with customers, so technically I don't really have to know these speeches. I mean I should know them. Actually I think you should call on someone else…like a salesman or something."

As discussed, Dan just gave me that CEO stare that said, "You better start reciting kid."
"Sorry sir. Oh sir, one more thing…I mean I'm only two weeks with the company…I really only got a chance to look at the speeches once on the Intranet."
Dan kept staring and nodding.
"If I get this wrong do I loose my job?"
He laughed, "No but he does!" (He points to the head of the finance department…my supposed boss.)

"Okay sir no pressure…Well, I know there are six elevator speeches…." I said them slowly as if I was trying to recall their names. The audience applauded. They were being supportive of this poor little girl from finance that was about to pass out from nerves.

After I finished naming them I said. "I suppose you want me to say a little about each speech?"
He nodded. I took a deep breath and went into rapid-fire mode. "Well, I know the company is…" I rattled off the entire six scripts, without looking once at the monitor." When I finished I said, "And that's all I remember sir." As if on cue, the entire 250 people stood up and gave me a standing ovation. I was so moved. I actually felt guilty telling these wonderful people that I was a plant…but in two seconds the reveal was coming.

I headed to my seat. As I sat down people patted me on the back. "Great job!"
Ah if they only knew.

Then Dan says…"Fran?" I stood up again.
"Yes sir?"
"You're not really from finance are you?"
"Ah, well no sir…I'm actually not even from this company."
The audience gasped.

"I thought so…Do you mind telling the audience who you really are?"
"Well (long pause) I happen to be the Guinness Book of World Records fastest talking female."

At this point I think the audience wasn't sure whether to believe me. Then, I told them how I got asked to pull the prank, how I broke the world record and that I actually did the elevator speeches in a limo. Once again they applauded.

The webcast ended and everyone was happy, with my "nervous employee" act forever immortalized.

From there we zoomed over to their television studio to shoot the elevator speeches as a commercial for their Intranet.

I asked if I could add the "Capo touch" to the script. They said, "As long as it doesn't interfere with legal go right ahead." I laughed, "Gotcha". So I added some humor, props, a wise crack line or two and in two takes we were done.

To celebrate a successful webcast event, the wonderful, EMBARQ employee communication team, Julie, Loyd and Nick took me out to lunch at this great seafood place. We joked, told stories and I drank my cranberry juice and felt drunk.

With only a few hours to take off, the limo picked me up and I had a nice relaxing ride back to the airport. I debated whether to do the elevator speech limo style once again, but decided that for now my tongue needed a rest and I'd leave the elevator stuff up to Otis, that is least until till next time when I embark upon a new journey.