Anyway, we pulled into the parking lot of this behemoth ice structure and were simply amazed. It was bigger than any snow fort I ever built as a kid.

We were about to head into the hotel when we heard wheels spinning and noticed this woman's car was stuck in the snow. Then next thing I knew Steve and Spencer are playing human tow trucks and helping her out. I figured why not tape it…a Good Samaritan act in progress…a great way to start an adventure.

After getting the damsel in distress out of the snow we checked in at the lobby, which is located in a two story heated building (not made of snow) complete with working fireplace. I was wondering how those people took registrations all winter long in the Ice Hotel…now I had my answer…they are warm, inside a real heated building…nice and toasty.

We were assigned two Ice Hotel rooms, number 12 and 14. Obviously we did not need keys to these rooms, since there are no locks on the doors. If there were it would give a whole new meaning to the term, "the locks are frozen."

We were however given keys to the wooden lockers that were conveniently located downstairs from the lobby in this heated building. We were told to keep our luggage there, because otherwise if we kept them in our ice hotel rooms the clothes would be cold and damp in the morning. Not a good thing in nine degree weather.

Downstairs with the real lockers, there were also real showers, and real bathrooms. Which is a relief because I had visions of my butt getting stuck to an ice toilet in the middle of the night. So far things seemed pretty civil.

After we put our bags away, we went back upstairs to the front desk and signed up for the 6:30 pm dinner plan. I had imagined dinner would be a bunch of cold cuts, served on ice plates, or that maybe we'd have to stay outside our rooms and fish out of an ice hole to catch it. Instead, dinner was a hot meal in a "real ski lodge" just a five minute walk up the hill. (The ski lodge btw has "real rooms" which you can book. It serves as a backup plan for those who wimp out and can't make it through the whole night in their ice-cold rooms.)

With plans in order, Sylvan, the public relations manager who I had spoken to back when I made the reservations gave us a personalized tour around the Ice Hotel.

We left the heated lobby building, went down some snow covered stairs, past some cool looking guards and were now at the doorway of the Ice hotel. As we walked through the entrance, we stepped into this huge lobby with 18 foot high pitched ceilings. Sylvan began, "Welcome to the Ice Hotel."

We stood in amazement. The place was so…so…white! Which of course makes sense since it's made of snow. If it was any other color I'd be worried.

At the far end of the lobby was this gorgeous dangling, ice chandelier.

"Okay, Sylvan, how the heck does this thing stay up? I mean there's not some Eskimo with a hook on the top of this igloo holding it, is there?"
He laughed, "No, no Eskimo…It’s bolted to the ceiling with chains and fiber optics are put through it so that it can light up at night."
"Ah very, sneaky…I like it. This place is much bigger than I imagined. So what's the trick…I mean did a bunch of guys make this by hand, with a really great pair of waterproof gloves and a shovel?"

Sylvan having probably answered this question a million times replied, "Well, stainless steel moulds are used to make the hotel. They are first put into place and then wooden walls are fixed at a certain distance from the steel moulds. Snow is then blown in between the moulds and walls completely covering them. Once the snow has frozen into place, which takes anywhere from ten hours to three days, the metal frames are removed and ta da…you have a very unique, one of a kind ice hotel."

"How come the walls and columns are so clear?" Spencer asked. "Ah good observation we do that with a special process called reverse osmosis." Sylan said. Spencer and Jamie looked at me. I looked at Steve who nodded as if he knew the answer but wasn't saying. I, who have no compunctions about admitting when I don't know something, said, "Hey, I've been out of school for a few years now…better let Sylvan answer that one." Sylvan took the floor. "Basically, it's a purification method for water. Pre-filtered water is pushed through a reverse osmosis membrane which retains the contaminants. The clear water is used to make the ice and so you get these nice looking columns. When any of the columns or table tops, or even floors get messed up, we use a variety of things from irons to lawn mowers to smooth them out."

Steve was smiling and nodding. He's the quiet type. He's also the type that likes to be in charge and knows all the exits of a place just in case an emergency comes up. He would have made a great boy scout…always with his first aid kit at hand.

So it was no surprise that he was doing a careful inspection of the walls. As long as he didn't pull out a protractor I didn't care. "How thick are these walls?" he asked.

Sylan, with all the hotel facts at hand answered, "These walls are about four feet thick at the base, and about two feet thick at the ceiling."

"Good, so it's not like a candle can burn this place down then." I chimed in.
"No it's pretty solid, and the thick walls preserve the cold temperatures within and keep it at a constant 28 degrees till Spring."

"How many years have you been building the ice hotel?" Jamie asked.
"This is our sixth hotel, and every year it gets bigger and more elaborate." Sylan gleamed.

"So when exactly does this place close down? I mean, are guests in the hotel and the ceiling starts to melt and then you say, 'Okay, hotel closed. Everybody out.'" I smiled. "Actually we close it March 19th. March is usually when it starts to melt. When it's really getting out of shape, we simply bulldoze it into the water, so no one can accidentally come inside and get hurt."

Sylvan continued with our tour, taking us inside the N'ice club…which is big enough to accommodate 250 people. Spencer and Jamie, being the consummate teenagers, made plans to return to this place later on when it was hopping with dance music.

In the meantime, we had to get a drink at the bar. The bartender poured soda and cranberry juice (which I always get drunk off of for some strange reason) into these ice glasses.

We went to pick up the glasses and after realizing they were too cold and slippery, we put on some gloves. After a few sips the glasses melted into the shape of our lips.

As we were finishing up our drinks we heard a grinding noise in the back room of the bar. The bartender sensed our curiosity…"Oh that's Fred. He's making more ice cups in the back with blocks of ice and a drill." I saw Spencer's mind working immediately and realized he was figuring out a way to make these cups at home.

In the N'Ice hotel there were little alcoves with seats and tables. Deer skins were on the seats so you didn't stick to them. Sylvan assured us the deer were not killed for the ice hotel, but these were hunted deer and the hunters who ate the meat donated the skins to the hotel instead of tossing them out.

After a quick tour of the wedding chapel (of which Steve made a comment about us both having cold feet), the award winning art sculptures and the exhibition hall, it was finally time to see our bedrooms for the night. Since most bedrooms in the ice hotel have one double bed, we booked two rooms. We were told that we were going to be given individual sleeping bags, so we figured it wasn't a problem for me and Spencer to stay in one room, and Jamie and Steve to stay in another.

We got to room number twelve, a theme room which had a circular ice bed with a giant red silk ribbon curtain hanging down from the ceiling, concealing the bed. This was supposed to be the room Spencer and I were gonna sleep in. We took one look at the room and Spencer said, "Mom I love ya, but we are not sharing that bed.

I said, "Spencer we are in sleeping bags… you take one side, and I'll take another. "Mom it's a round bed, there are no sides". "Good point…lets see if we can change rooms".

We looked at room 14 and it was another cozy little number decorated like a cave. Spencer said, "I'm coming back here in five years with a girlfriend."

As we went through all the bedrooms, I snapped pictures. I've been known to shoot three rolls a day on a trip. I think I was Japanese in another lifetime.

After the row of bedrooms, we passed through the walled in courtyard, the courtyard that housed the outdoor hot tubs and saunas. I turned to Spencer and Jamie and smiled. "And this is why I told you guys to bring bathing suits."

"Okay, Sylvan how does this work?” "Well, the principle is simple. You go to your wooden lockers and put your bathing suit on. Then you wear the layers of clothes on top of the bathing suit that you are going to wear to bed. Before you come out here, you check in with the front desk, get a towel and a bathrobe. Then you go into this trailer to our left which houses some indoor bathrooms, a changing room and a blow dryer. Strip down to your bathing suits, put on the robe and walk out to the hot tub which is 110 degrees. Stay in there for about 45 minutes, then dry off in the sauna. When you are done, go back in the trailer, take off your wet bathing suit, dry off your hair, go to your room and immediately get into your sleeping bag…your body temperature will be raised and keep you nice and warm.

I looked at Steve. He smiled, "Nope…not me." Jamie and Spencer were ready to hop in now. "What time do they open?" Jamie asked. "They are open from 9 PM to 9 AM." "We can stay out here all night then." Spencer said. "Yup, we can…we might look like prunes but we can."

We looked at the last two rooms of the ice hotel, rooms that were separate from the rest. Suite number one, contained two double beds and had a theme of sunrise to sunset. A huge moon was sketched in snow on one wall, and a giant sun on another wall. "Hey Sylvan, is this room available?" "I'll check. If no one has it, it's yours."

With our tour ending in time for dinner, we walked back to the heated lobby area, trekked out the back door and up to the heated dining lodge. Dinner was delicious. After dinner we were given a brief orientation of how to get into our sleeping bags (a real procedure on ice), how to wear layers of clothes to stay warm, how to keep our morning clothes at the bottom our sleeping bags to keep them dry and what to do in case of emergency. We were also told that we would get a wake up call at 8:30 AM. Why that hour? Simple. Because from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. every day, the hotel is open to the public, and they are allowed to go into all the rooms. (Not everyone is as crazy as us and wants to spend the night frozen…some just like to look, nod their heads and go back to their heated homes).

So unless you don't mind being the sleep model in some stranger’s pictures of the Ice Hotel, you'd probably want to skiddadle out of there. Besides, it's not like you are going to want to sleep in late in a cozy bed and watch tv.

With that said, we were told our room would be set up by 9 p.m. with our arctic sleeping bags.

We hung out in the N'Ice club till 10 p.m. Spencer did some glow sticking, I embarrassed the kids by doing the Hussle, and Steve did some kind of two step that we all cracked up at. Before long we were ready to jump into the hot tub.

Being in a hot tub outside in nine degree weather is an indescribable condition. Okay, I'll describe it. Steam is coming off your body like some energy aura in the movie Cocoon. The night is crystal clear. You are surrounded by fancy igloos. It is very quiet. To walk to the sauna you put your warm feet on snow covered ground hoping they don't stick. Of course you could wear your shoes, but who the heck wants to put them on for an eight-foot walk. Steve, who sat bundled up besides the hot tub, acted as our pool boy, bringing us bottled water, and our bathrobes. He, of course, preferred to think of himself as the "caring father", which he was, but it isn't as quite as sexy a thought.

Finally, it was bedtime. With heated bodies, we walked into room number 1 and it was gorgeous. There were light switches underneath the ice beds, so a yellow glow illuminated the base of the bed.

In the center of the room was two ice chairs draped in deer skin with an ice table between them. Two candles, in ice holders were lit on the table, putting a cool flickering light against the snow wall. And there was one more thing, a fantastic surprise. Sylvan had a arranged for a personalized sculpture to be made to recognize my fast talking world record, a giant ice pair of lips, with my name underneath it. It was awesome! I was trying to figure out a way I could take it home… maybe even keep it in the freezer. Not practical, but a cool thought none the less.

Without wasting too much time, we proceeded to get onto into our sleeping bags. This was a comedy routine in itself. First, we had to unroll the bags. Then take out the inside liner out, which is concealed in this tiny pillow. Now comes the fun part. You have to sit on the side of the bed and take off your shoes. But at the same time be careful not to touch the ice part of the bed. After all you don't want to get into a nice dry sleeping bag with a wet butt.

Next you stand on the bed and hop into the liner, like you would into a potato sack. So there's me and Spencer standing on our beds, and Jamie and Steve hopping on theirs. Four jumping beans in an ice hotel. Good thing the ceilings are high. We all start to laugh; it did look ridiculous.
Spencer and Jamie got in their bags quickly…figures.

Meanwhile, Steve's trying to wiggle into his bag, like a tight girdle and I'm on my bed leaning to the side about to fall. After a few wobbles, I get into the liner. Now all I have to do is get myself and the liner into the sleeping bag. Finally, I'm all settled with my sleeping bag tied around my neck. I turn over and then I spot it. My nice warm shirt for the morning is outside on top of my knapsack. Damn! It will be frozen by morning. I try to worm my way over to the edge of the bed to get it, but it's out of reach. I tell Spencer to grab my sleeping bag and hold me over the side of the bed. So now he's holding onto me, and I'm sliding off the ice at the edge of the bed. I felt like Stallone in Cliffhanger. Just as I'm about to fall on the floor, I grab the shirt. Spencer pulls me back onto the bed and I shove my prized shirt into the bag to the bottom.

Now we are all cozy and snug in our bags. Then I realize we left the candles on. Nope. None of us are getting out of these knapsacks to blow them out. The worse that will happen is the ceiling will drip. I try to blow the candles out from from my bed, but even I don't have that much hot air. We decide they'll go out eventually.

Then I look roll over and see more articles of clothing. "Spencer you didn't get in your liner, and you forgot your socks!" "Mom, I'm warm." "That's now…put your socks on. They'll be frozen in the morning." "I'll be fine." I took his socks and put them in my sleeping bag. The kid walks around in his boxers in the dead of winter…maybe he had a point.

Everyone was quiet. I stared up at the snow carved clouds on the ceiling and thought, how cool is this? Besides the obvious answer of 28 degrees, very cool indeed. I drifted off to sleep quickly.

At 1 AM the first of my nature calls occurred. Bathrooms and adventure always seem to be one of my major challenges. In Kilimanjaro, my problem was where to find cover in the desert zone; in the submersible at the Titanic it was holding it for twelve hours so I wouldn't have to pee inside a tube with a shower curtain around me. Here in the Hotel de Glace it was getting out of a warm sleeping bag, putting on my shoes, trudging out into the snow, walking across the cold courtyard and going to the bathroom and then doing the whole jumping bean procedure to get back into bed. I tried to hold it as best I could…my bladder refused to cooperate.

When I went outside it was snowing. It looked beautiful, but I wasn't stopping to take pictures.

At 2:30 a.m. nature called again. I told it to shut up, but no luck. Why I had to go again, I hadn't a clue. Was water getting into my system through osmosis? At this point I was thinking I should have worn a Depends. Spencer got up at this time too. He was out and back before I got my shoes on.

After ten minutes I was back in my bag. Just as I was falling back to sleep, I heard it…first it started low, then louder and louder, till it was loud enough to shake the snow off the ceiling. It was the sound of snoring and it was coming from Steve. I felt like I was in a snow cave with a polar bear. I thought maybe if I counted the snores it would lull me back to sleep. Then I started to think the sound was very funny and debated waking up Spencer to share the experience.

Normally I just shake him and he stops, but there was no way I was getting back out of that sleeping bag for a third time. So instead I turned over and watched the candles melt down to the ice holders and extinguish themselves. Now it was pitch black.

I tried to listen for outside noises, but if there were any, they were drowned out by the snoring. Sometime between then and 3:30 I drifted to sleep.