Okay, so what else…how bout I let you in a little on my crazy family.
My family is pretty small. There's my mom, Rose. She is the one who taught me nothing is impossible. She's also the one who says a million novenas every time I tell her about another crazy adventure I'm going on. My mom's a great listener and one of my best friends. She's been a housewife most of her life, but after getting rid of husband #2, the one-armed bandit (Yes, he really had one arm…shot it off to avoid going into the army), she is happy without a man. As she puts it, "Who wants to clean some man's dirty underwear for the rest of their lives!" Anyway, now she baby sits on occasion. She was an assistant teacher at a nursery school for a while. She is a tad superstitious, and is known to paint yellow dots on the ceiling because she read somewhere that it brings money into the house. Imagine my surprise when I saw her on a ladder with a yellow highlighter.

My dad, Frank is dead. He died of cancer back in 1999. He was the one who
taught me to find the humor in everything. He was quite a character. He had
one brother, a highly decorated police officer, and another brother who was in the mob. He was constantly going back and forth between two worlds. When my dad was dying of cancer he told me to write a book about his life…which is a little scary considering the friends he had. But I honored his request and wrote a book about his life called, "Almost a Wise Guy." I did however change the names of the people and put a disclaimer in the front of the book stating, "The names have been changed to protect the author."

Hey last thing I wanted is one of the Gotti's coming by and asking me if they knew anyone in the book. Which did happen by the way…Peter Gotti lived around the corner from me in Howard Beach, and read my book…but that's a whole other story.

Then there's my one and only younger sister, Lorraine Sharon Shahira Capo-Battaglia, now that's a mouthful. I call her Sharon. She speaks three languages, Italian, Spanish and Greek. Okay, four languages, of course she speaks English. She is a belly dancer by trade, where her professional name is Shahira. She has worked in Egypt, Scotland, England, Italy, Spain and Greece. She is a fantastic painter also, and draws these wild cartoons. She is married to an off the boat Italian guy, Alberto. Alberto calls my sister Lorena. So depending on who you are talking to, she's got a different name.

Alberto is a piece of work himself. We call him useless. The man does not know how to boil an egg, use a screwdriver, or even change a light bulb. This is no exaggeration! The other day my sister asked him to change the cat litter, he dumped the whole thing in the toilet, thus flooding the apartment. When asked why he did it, he said, "Ah the cats go to the bathroom too much, they need to use the toilet."

Finally, there is my adorable five-year-old niece, Athena, who I call Thenis. She is extremely smart and speaks three languages. She speaks Spanish to my sister, Italian to Alberto, and English to us. The other day I tried to speak to her in Spanish, you know, remembering sentences I was taught back in high school language class. Dumb sentences like, "Where is the pencil?" Anyway, she just looked at me as if to say, “give it up girl,” but instead said, "Frannie, you speak English. That is not Spanish."

Now that's the immediate family, not counting my two cats, Orbit and Zeus. Orbit goes where ever I go…She's sitting right now on the chair I am typing this on. Orbit is the epitome of the scaredy cat. You move the wrong way and she runs off, leaving skid marks and the rug flying as she takes off.

Zeus on the other hand, also goes where ever I go, but he feels the need to
race me. If I'm heading up the stairs, he bolts to the top. If I'm in the bathroom, he feels the need to join me and will often open the door. Zeus, is just like me in cat form. If he hears a noise, he's gotta check it out. If it snows, he's gotta go outside. If there's a new animal in the house, he is the first to greet it. Both cats sleep on my bed, and for some reason, for extremely small beings, they seem to take up two thirds of the bed.

Oh yeah, I guess before ending, I should mention…love interests. Well, the deal is this. Back in July, five days after returning from my Titanic adventure I moved to Westchester with Spencer. We moved in with my fiancée, Steve. Now here's the deal on Steve. Nice guy, business man, likes to remain behind the scene. We have been dating for six years now. Feb. 5, as a matter of fact was our six year anniversary. I may have worn him out with a lot of my adventures…time will tell if this will last.

When he proposed to me three years ago, he gave me a Harley Davidson Sportster instead of a ring…just the way I like it. Although if we do mutually decide to tie the knot, I will get a ring, I mean I am a girl…and I do like jewelry, too.

The truth is, we were both happy, me living with my family in Howard Beach in our two-family house, and him living upstate in his condo in Westchester. We saw each other every other week. He had his daughter, Jamie. I had my son, Spencer. He had a house, I had a house. He had a cat, I had two cats. To me things were good. I'd been married twice and wasn't rushing down the isle ringing, "Get me to the Church on time."

Sometime last year, we both figured we should either move this relationship forward or end it, we weren't sure we were together out of convenience or love…so we decided to live together for a trial basis of one year. This was a very hard decision for this good little Catholic girl who stayed a virgin till she got married and swore she would NEVER just live with a guy. Seeing as I needed to make a decision and the idea of marriage for a third time wasn't making me chomp at the bit, I decided the next best thing.

I sublet my apartment to a writer friend named, Tracy. She is in my apartment, aka my escape route, for one year. My bedroom furniture and a bunch of other stuff are still there.

In June we make our decision. If it works, Steve and I get married. I give up my apartment in Howard Beach (where my whole family lives) and take if from there. If it doesn't work, I move back to Queens and we part ways. So far it's 50-50.

So there you have it for now. You will be along for the ride…to find out what happens to me and my family, in my crazy comedy career, in my love life, and along the way you will meet some of my very unique friends.

I hope you enjoy my world. Welcome!

Side Note:
By the way if you want to find out more about me, my books or my adventures or even just check out some photos of the things I've done you can go to my website, www.francapo.com. The Capo Updates talk about the adventures, and the photos are all under the photo button. And of course, feel free to email me at FranCNY@aol.com