My 16 year old daughter and I were in the car (where many a meaningful conversation takes place) talking about her plans for the evening. She was going to a party at a friend's home. I ask all the proper questions. "Who's going to be there?" "Will the parents be home?" According to my duaghter, my list of questions is endless. What came of the conversation was that she wasn't sure she'd be comfortable at the party. It wasn't anything horrible like drugs or alcohol it was just potential personality conflicts. My solution was simple; just tell them you want to leave. Evidentally, that doesn't work. She might be embarrassed. They might get their feelings hurt. It had to be something important that called her away from the party.

So, we came up with the code, the magic words. If she calls and says them we are on our way to pick her up. I hope I never hear the magic words. But if I do the other part of the plan is in play. That's don't ask/don't tell. We have agreed not to ask why she left the party or why she wasn't comfortable. That's the deal. Tough to stick to but I'd rather trust her judgment and have her call than have her feel like she couldn't. I don't know how or if it will really work and I'm not anxious to find out. But it does give me peace of mind that we have a plan.

And it makes me wonder. What are your magic words? Do other parents have this type of plan, this type of deal with their child? Let me know what's worked for you. We parents in the teenage years need to stick together. Then, we need to sit back and enjoy these interesting times.