It was only after extensive medical examinations that we discovered she was suffering from a disease called “Alzheimer’s”. Little was known about the disease that leads to many hours of anguish, heartache and frustration. She died fourteen years ago but she’s been gone from me for more than twenty years. Words can’t begin to describe how difficult it was to see her decline.

It began about the time I moved to Charlotte. She’d had an accident while volunteering at the hospital and suffered a head trauma. We assumed after surgery that she’d make a full recovery.

I got a call at work one day in Charlotte from a restaurant in Skaneateles NY where my mom had left her purse. Unfortunately when I called her, she had no idea it was missing. It quickly went downhill from there.

My father has always been an active walker, often covering 5/10 miles a day. He had to give that up after coming home to find the water overflowing in the sink, the stove burners on with empty pots or my mother gone. His initial reaction was anger. He had no idea she had no control of her actions. However it was not consistent in the beginning.

I would call her to say hello and we’d have a wonderful conversation, absent of any signs of trauma. Often when the conversation would get around to dad, things would deteriorate. She would tell me that she’d not seen him in several days and that the person I heard in the background was a “stranger” who’d been in the home for several days.

Eventually mom ended up in an extended care wing of the hospital where she’d volunteered for many years. My dad would visit her every day, beginning her morning by getting her bathed, dressed in her beautiful clothes and spending every moment with her until bedtime. That became his normal procedure for a few years until he decided to bring her home, where he could give her the care “she deserved”.

The last eighteen months were difficult to say the least. My dad managed to find someone who could come into the home and care for mom while he’d run to the bank, etc. Not once did he complain.

Because of the distance, my visits were infrequent and it wasn’t long before she stopped recognizing me. Soon she did not even acknowledge anyone’s presence.

We prayed for a long time that the Good Lord would take her home but it was nothing we could control. She lingered for a while and then passed away at home. I miss her and wish I could have told her more of my life, but I waited too long. Take a moment today to tell a loved one how much you love them and appreciate all they’ve done for you….and don’t forget to take time to spend with the caregivers. They need your prayers and support more than you’ll ever know.