THE SET UP:

Saturday night I lost an Emmy award I really wanted to win.

Over the weekend in downtown Nashville, NATAS (National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences) handed out the Emmy awards for our television region, “The Midsouth Chapter.”

It’s a swanky affair. Tuxedos, beautiful gowns, pretty TV people as far as the eye can see… you couldn’t swing a stick without hitting something cosmetically “altered.” And then there’s me and Andy looking like a couple of knuckleheads. Our wives were absolutely stunning, which gave us some credibility. Andy wore a pink shirt. Looked very hip, almost Hollywood. I’ll take it. We need all the help we can get.

In the seven years I’ve entered the Emmy awards I’ve won six “Writing” Emmys. Writing is everything to me. Television is the devil I have to sleep with to do what I love. But Saturday night the presenter bellowed out, “And the writing Emmy goes to NOT MIKE REDDING!” Well at least that’s how I heard it. As the presenter stepped back from the microphone to let the winner take the spotlight, he looked down into the audience directly at me and mouthed these words, ‘You have too many already.” And then he smiled.

I’m sure he was joking and I should some how feel complimented but I thought to myself, “Now there’s a guy who doesn’t get me.” I think a lot of people don’t.

I won one Emmy Saturday night for the work we did in Italy at the Winter Olympics and people said, “This must be old hat for you.” As if to say, I must not be as excited as the other winners. Or I must be so used to winning Emmys that I could take it or leave it.

I’ve won a total of 23 Emmys. I worked my tukus off for every single one of them, and, no, 23 is not “too many”. Not to me.

MY BRAIN HAS ISSUES:

Every time I lose it eats at me a bit. Even before I lost, for weeks I was telling Andy I wasn’t happy with the way I wrote the stories we entered. I wasn’t trying to lower expectations in case we lose, I was giving a very frank appraisal of my performance. Andy did his usual masterful job at shooting and editing the stories, and he won Emmys in both of those categories (Photography & Editing) Saturday night. But I kept replaying the stories in my mind and rewriting them… over and over.

I DIGRESS:

I used to dislike Tom Brady, the quarterback for the New England Patriots. His team beat the Rams and the Panthers (my 2 favorite football teams) in Super Bowls. Plus I’m from Ohio and Brady played college ball at Michigan. Nuff said. We’ll fight to the death.

But then I caught part of a Tom Brady interview, I think on 60 Minutes, and my attitude toward him changed. He was asked what motivates him to succeed and in a somber voice he matter-of-factly answered, “The fear of failure.”

That made Tom Brady my brother. Instantly.

BACK TO MY ISSUES:

I can’t stand losing and I the thought of failing makes me sick. Losing means my best wasn’t good enough. Someone else’s best was better. Does that make me crazy? Sure!

It’s not that I get jealous of others when they win and I lose. It’s that I feel I should win all the time. Smacks of intense arrogance, huh? Or maybe deep insecurity. Either way, I’m a nut case.

I didn’t get angry at the writer who won. Hardly. I cheered her on because it means she must have done a great job and deserves to win. I try to meet the competition after the ceremony, shake hands, congratulate them and learn more about their lives. After all, we’re all family… writers.

Yes, it’s true, I have perfectionism issues. If you could see my masterfully manicured lawn mid-summer you would know that. When I run out of weeds in my yard I pull them from my neighbor’s lawn. (Probably the only benefit to living next to me.)

But I’m not so tightly wound that I can’t enjoy myself, or life, for that matter. You’ve seen the show. You know how much fun I have. And Saturday night I celebrated with Andy, our wives and other workmates. Anna Crowley, Allison Andrews, Jeff Sonier, Bobby Rettew all won Emmys as well. WCNC has a very talented news dept. Several other coworkers there, Rachel Clapp, Dan Starks, Mary Alvarez, Steve Kiser were nominated and didn’t win. Nominations are by no means a kick in the crotch. Not at all. They say you’re very near the top of your field. It’s all good. So we had a great time that night.

Contrary to what others think, I was thrilled and extremely proud to win an Emmy Saturday night. It’s never “old hat.” The last one I won is every bit as thrilling as the first one.

And I’m terribly proud of Andy. You’ve seen his work. He deserved those Emmys. He was beaming and that made me incredibly happy.

But it’s Monday and the Emmy I won Saturday night means nothing starting today. That Emmy represents my past. It’s a statement about the work I did; it says nothing about the work I’m doing right now.

That was last Saturday night. Today I’m logging tape and writing stories for the next show… this coming Saturday night. And I better step it up because I don’t plan on losing the writing Emmy next time.

In my whacked out brain, that means you win. Better writing = better shows!

Okay, back to the rock pile everyone… or in my case, the word pile.

Mike Redding