Now you know who the real talent is behind the show. Sort of like when the classic rock group the Eagles broke up and at first everyone wondered, ‘Was it Glenn Frey or Don Henley who made that band tick?” Well now we know. Andy is Don Henley. So don’t forget to read his take on our wonderful and bizarre lives as Carolina Travelers every Friday right here in this space.

And one more stand-kneel-sit kudo to us for winning our second Gabriel Award. Gabriel’s are handed out by the Catholic Church. (If you’ve never been to a catholic mass, they stand, kneel and sit in succession… over and over… a lot. It’s like a mild aerobic class that cleanses your soul.) Anyway, it’s possible the Pope had a hand in this. (That could be a little white lie but I don’t know anyone who can prove otherwise… and until then I’ll keep saying so.) Basically Gabriel’s are given to TV shows that lift the human spirit. To let you in on a little secret, Andy and I have two basic goals we commit ourselves to each and every day we have the breath of life: 1. Lift the human spirit, and 2. Don’t get fired.

I’m teasing a bit here because it’s hard to toot your own horn and not make yourself vomit at the same time. I need to tell you how great the show is, but I don’t want you to confuse that with me and Andy. Think of it this way: Andy and I are 2 of the biggest knuckleheads on earth. (I obsess over my yard and Andy obsesses over hockey. Sad, isn’t it? Ask our wives. We have issues.) Our show, on the other hand, is about some of the most remarkable people you’ll ever meet. You should watch it and tell all your friends to watch it. That way you’ll get to experience our first goal and we’ll accomplish goal #2.

Okay on with today’s journal…

I’m posting an all too common genre of e-mail I get. And then we’ll have a group discussion on it. Here’s the e-mail:

Hi, Mike,
You came to my brother's retirement on June 17. I only saw a small clip of it on that Saturday night and the next morning. Someone told my brother that it was on Carolina Traveler and we missed it. If it was on, is there any way we can get a copy of the program? We really appreciate you coming that night.
Thank You,
Hope R.
Lincolnton

Now here’s what I want to say to Hope and so many others:

Hope,
First of all, thank you for thanking me for attending your brother’s retirement. You’re thoughtful. Secondly, I wasn’t there. Thirdly, I can’t tell you how many times I hear this… I was at your brother’s retirement… I was at granny’s 95th birthday bash… I was at a hotdog stand in Statesville… a vegetable stand in Fort Mill… a bowling championship in Shelby… a grand opening in Hickory… you name it and I was there… and did a story that someone saw on my show, Carolina Traveler. And yet I was never at any of these events. And none of them --or 100 others-- have ever been on the show. Mysterious.

Here’s the kicker: When I tell people “It wasn’t me,” most beg to differ. One lady argued with me when I told her I didn’t do the television story she saw on The Peach Stand in Fort Mill. (And not that it isn’t worthy of a story. It is. We just haven’t done that one yet.) But this woman insisted it was me and that she saw it on my show!

I don’t know what to do with that.

So far (and I’m knocking on some wood veneered medium density fiberboard right now) 100% percent of the time I’ve known when I was somewhere, particularly if Andy was there too and we were shooting a story.

As I get older, that percentage may come down a bit, but as of right now I’m undefeated. So if I say I wasn’t there and we didn’t do that story how can anyone disagree? And yet people do.

Here’s my theory: Somewhere out there a man or men are impersonating me… the poor saps. They should really pick someone smarter and more debonair. I wear shorts and t-shirts everywhere I go for goodness sakes… and I rarely shave. Sometimes I even wear socks with my sandals! Gasp. So already they lack enough intelligence and flair to impersonate someone better (which perhaps makes them perfect for impersonating me). I figure they go to these events and pretend they’re me and they must have a sidekick with them who impersonates Andy (no small task). And, and, and they eat the free food (people like to feed us), take the complimentary ball cap (I have a collection) or coffee mug (I had a collection… but recently married) and then make out with the groupies (okay, I made up the groupie part. Some sort of passive-aggressive anger left over from having to get rid of my coffee mug collection).

(Anyone notice how many parenthetical statements I’m making in today’s journal?) (Interesting.) (Or not.)

So anywho, if you see me at some gathering shooting a story, ask to see my drivers license. If I can’t produce one that says “Jethro Tull” (that’s my real name but obviously because of the popular 70s rock band I had to take a different stage name) wrestle my look-alike to the ground and call the police.

Then maybe people will stop arguing with me about where I have and haven’t been.

That’s all I got. Don’t forget to have your spirit hoisted high overhead by watching Carolina Traveler every Saturday night at 7:30!

And don’t forget to stop and smell the people,

Mike Redding