Based on your e-mails, you were as shocked as my mom, who cried wonderful tears of joy when I called and told her from a train outside of Florence, Italy.

Sean Lyon

In the piazza, before we married, a crowd of shoppers and tourists gathered and wanted to take pictures of us. We let them. It was hilarious.

Until recently she had almost, nearly, basically given up on me finding the right woman. A couple years back, my mom told me she met the perfect girl for me. There was just one problem. She was married. Savor that for a minute. That’s good stuff. A little desperate perhaps. But very funny. Mom just wants her baby boy to be happy. God I love that woman.

I didn’t write about any of this until now for two reasons:

First, I think I’m lousy at writing about subjects which are too close to my heart. Perspective is everything when you’re telling a story. When you can look at a subject from a distance and multiple angles, you can understand it better and write something worth reading. When you’re doggie paddling in the middle of the topic, you (meaning me) write pure crap.

Second reason? I don’t want a weirdo stalker to kill us.

That’s pretty much it. I think perhaps one of those reasons is irrational. You can decide which.

Sean Lyon

When this man and his family from Rome found out we were eloping and that our families weren't there he said, "We will be your family today!"

I have irrational thoughts now and again. Surely you’ve sat in your work place and looked around at your co-workers and thought to yourself, “Which one of these geniuses is it going to be? Who is going to march in here some day and mow us all down?”

It only takes one nutcase to ruin your whole day.

Anyway, back here in reality… I’ve got some distance now… and I’m over the “being killed” thing so I can write about this. (For the record, I would like to add at this point how much I don’t want to be killed. Seriously. That would be very disappointing.)

Okay I promise I won’t go on and on about lovey-dovey schmoopy-schmaltzie stuff. I’m in love but I’m not insane. I have just two simple things for you:

1. Everyone should elope.

Sean Lyon

I'm wearing a ring my mother gave my father during World War II. It seems my fingers gained some weight since the last time I tried it on!

I’m serious about that. Take your money and do something adventurous and fun. It’ll cost a fraction of your standard issue American wedding. Do what’s in your dreams. Don’t try to please anyone else. Somewhere among my loose marbles there’s a hunch that the bazillion dollar wedding industry has brain-washed Americans into thinking weddings have to be done a certain way. I got lucky and found a gal who oozes independent thought and doesn’t follow the crowd… anywhere. When the crowd finds her, she’s already moved. And she loves a great story. So we started our marriage with a story that’s a real-life fantasy. It was an amazing experience. Tuscany was the perfect place for us. Find yours.

2. True love fits.

And the key word there isn’t “true” or “love.” I’ve discovered there are other “loves.” See if you recognize these… the one where you relentlessly pound a square peg into a square hole… except the hole is a fraction too small. Looks like it fits. You think it's supposed to fit. Everyone around you says it fits. So you keep pounding and make it fit… by damaging the hole (you).

Another is where everything fits exactly deliriously perfect… so long as you keep your eyes closed tightly. You know this one… your “special someone” examines the size of the square hole you’re working with and magically becomes the perfect size peg. She/he artificially morphs her/himself into whatever you’re looking for. Mmmm, sadly (or happily), only the truth lasts. Somewhere down the road the fake stuff cracks and falls off that “perfect” square peg and you’re left with a toothpick.

Use it to pick the you-know-what she/he fed you from your teeth and move on.

Sean Lyon

I knew the first time I kissed her she was the one. We've kissed several times since. This won't be the last.

I feel so friggin lucky. I found it. Or I guess it found me. I have no idea how that works. I’ve heard people say “When you’re looking you won’t find it!” Or, “Stop looking and whammo there it is!” Blah blah blah. Whatever. I just know if you wake up every day and commit to being a better person you’ll find yourself. And you’ll find yourself content. When you’re content you don’t hammer oversized pegs into smaller holes and you aren’t fooled by the ones that morph.

WAIT! I have one more thing to say. This will be number 3. Don’t kill me! That’s not me saying “Don’t kill me because I’m adding a number 3!” That IS number three: Don’t kill me! In fact, don’t kill anyone. Killing is bad… usually.

Oh, and quit gossiping. That’s number 4. Just shut your yap or try to say positive things about others.

I’ll stop now. Maybe.

5. Remember to floss. Soooo important.

Okay. I’m done. For now.

Ciao,

Mike Redding