Fret not. We still have the 30 minute shows running every Saturday night at 7:30.

But as a bonus for your good behavior we also have an hour-long special airing at 8 PM on the 25th. That night we plan on bringing some boring reality show on FOX to its knees! What’s it called? American Idol, I think.

Good times.

Just imagine some tourist family on their way to Florida from Detroit April 25th. They grab a hotel room in Charlotte for the night. They eat at one of Charlotte’s fine mega-chain restaurants, “Apple Tuesday’s.” Dad, mom and the kids all cuddle together in a soft, clean hotel bed to watch America’s most popular television show. It’s a weekly ritual. But this week there is the added excitement of being in an exotic southern city, CHARLOTTE!

Back home in Detroit, Idol goes up against network programming. You know, “According to Jim” and “NCIS” and “Celebrity Cooking Showdown.” All big budget shows produced on monstrous soundstages in Hollywood with hundreds of people working on each. But Charlotte is different.

It’s exactly 8 PM and dad, flanked on the king size bed by Betty and the kids hits the TV remote ON button and starts tooling through the channels looking for FOX. And what happens? Magic! Pure magic. The kids see a giant sea turtle on the screen and squeal with delight. Betty sees a beautiful horse and moans… longingly. Dad sees a knucklehead who can barely string two words together hosting his own TV show and thinks to himself, “Hey! That could be me!”

It’s 8:40 before they realize what’s happened. They’ve laughed and cried, hugged each other. It was a family bonding time like no other. By 9 PM dad and Betty have decided to renew their wedding vows and the kids have promised to try harder at school and to never argue again!

The next morning they head to Florida and spend their kids’ spring break at Disney World… but it’s not as fun as they had hoped. The days seem too long and the week drags on and on. Each night they flip through the television channels and find the same old boring network programming. They drive back to Detroit feeling as though they missed out on something.

As they pass through the Carolinas the kids look out the windows at the most fun place on earth and wonder why they didn’t spend their spring break here? Betty feels a deep soulful ache and tears well up. Dad stares straight ahead, hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel of his mint green Ford, Windstar minivan. He thinks about how ugly and cold and grey Detroit is and then in an uncontrollable burst of genius blurts out, “SCREW DETROIT! WE’RE MOVING TO THE CAROLINAS!”

The kids bounce and scream for joy in their seats. Betty is so happy she doesn’t even scold dad for saying the word “screw” in front of the children. The whole clan spontaneously starts singing the words to James Taylor’s, “Carolina in My Mind.” Dad’s a little off key, but today no one cares.

And then I wake up.

I wonder how long I’ve been asleep at my desk. There’s drool on my shirt and my computer keyboard. I look around Carolina Traveler International Headquarters (that’s CTIHQ. Pronounced “C-tic” for short) and see my staff (Andy) feverishly working to make a great show.

Thankfully no one noticed I was sleeping. It helps that I look like this pretty much all the time… asleep and drooling on myself.

Well, I have to get on it. Next Tuesday is only 192 hours away and I have at least a dozen hours worth of work to finish up.

Say a prayer for dad and Betty and the kids. Next Tuesday night is a big one for them.

Be well,
Mike