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Schwarzenegger has no respect for Paris Hilton's lap dog

2:11 PM Tue, Sep 30, 2008 | Permalink
Jack Perry

Lap dogs might as well be added to the endangered species list in California.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has vetoed legislation that would have provided a lifeline to these pooches that serve as little more than handy props for the rich and sometimes famous.

The former action-movie hero callously tossed aside legislation -- known to many as the Paris Hilton lap dog driving bill -- that would have fined drivers for getting behind the wheel of their BMWs, Ferraris and Lexuses with a pup on their lap.

Some might argue that sitting on the laps or in the handbags of wealthy women is the ideal role for these dogs. After all, they can't all serve as mascots for taco restaurants.
Some might even charge that depriving the dogs of this function would be like telling Saint Bernards they can't rescue lost mountain climbers or telling Huskies they can't pull sleds across snow.

Some people might even think these dogs lead glamorous lives, their fuzzy faces lighting up the television screens of millions of Entertainment Tonight fans, but I think they're victims of animal cruelty on a level that we haven't seen since Mitt Romney strapped the family dog to the top of his car before embarking on a family vacation.

These dogs have it tough. Dogs have sensitive noses. Their exposure to the unwashed paparazzi, however brief, must trigger violent allergic reactions. They can probably smell a single paparazzo from five miles miles away. Imagine the olfactory overload they suffer when surrounded by a whole pack of them.

And it doesn't get any easier. The people who keep them as props (not pets), the Paris Hiltons and Jessica Simpsons, are world-class shoppers. How do the dogs endure the marathon sessions at the mall with all the perfume and makeup sampling? What happens to the poor dog with a weak bladder who can't help but pee in the Gucci bag? Naughty dogs may be easier to replace than expensive handbags.

In vetoing the Paris Hilton lap dog driving bill, the macho governor has shown his prejudice against little girly dogs. If these stars were driving around with more macho German shepherds or rottweilers on their laps, you can be sure he'd have taken this measure seriously and ensured that the dogs couldn't be treated in such a cruel and demeaning way.