Imagine marking The Fourth with the Royal Family
10:58 AM Thu, Jul 03, 2008 | Permalink
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It's easy to take for granted the significance of July 4th, especially since the English have proven to be strong, if quirky, friends over time. But if not for the courage and vision of patriots such as Rhode Island's own Nathanael Greene, life in these United States could be quite different today. Here's what July 4, 2008, might look like in Rhode Island if we were still British subjects. NEWPORT, July 4, 2008 -- Thousands gathered outside the Newport summer mansions of Prince Charles and Queen Elizabeth today to protest what one person characterized as "public subsidies of their opulent lifestyles." In a season of public demonstrations over drastic budget cuts, this was easily the largest protest and some protesters claimed many more would have joined them, but they couldn't afford to take the day away from work. "How can we buy the prince a new polo horse when we're cutting Meals on Wheels?," one protester asked incredulously. "The queen has a better pension than the judges," another said even more incredulously. As Rhode Islanders struggle with a weak economy and high unemployment rates, the taxpayer-supported lifestyle of the Royal Family has come under increasing scrutiny in recent months. And the Royals haven't done much to help quell the growing discontent. While Rhode Islanders are having trouble paying for gasoline and groceries, Prince Charles has decided to run his car on wine. The queen continues to travel around the world at a time when many here have replaced their summer vacations with 'staycations,' which essentially means they move into a tent in the backyard of a neighbor who owns a pool. And as banks repossess the "chick-magnet" sports cars from a record number of young Rhode Island men, Prince William impressed women at Narragansett Beach by repeatedly buzzing across the beach in a low-flying military helicopter. Nevertheless, some in the group were clearly wrestling with mixed emotions. When the queen walked onto a balcony, looked down and tilted her hand slightly to acknowledge the crowd, many threw down their signs and grabbed their cameras, shouting, "Queen Mum...Queen Mum," before they regained their composure. It's unclear whether Prince Charles was inside his summer estate. A local public relations company hired to blunt the increasing criticism, suggested that the prince had gone to South County in an effort to hunt down some of the foxes that have been terrorizing residents there. Remarkably, the protest brought together some Rhode Island groups that don't normally see issues from the same side of the street. Advocates for the poor stood shoulder-to-shoulder with anti-immigration crusaders. "Whether they come from Mexico or England, what difference does it make if they don't work and they collect welfare?," one of the protesters explained. "I can't understand a word they say," said another. "Why don' they learn to speak English?" "They do speak English, the King's English," somebody corrected him in a mock British accent. "Whatever they speak, it ain't Rhode Island," the protester shot back. Finally, another summed up how many of them felt, "We should have thrown these people out years ago." 
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