« Kids today just don't understand |
Main
| A sign of traffic trouble up ahead »
November 1, 2007
It's time for Donald Trump to take on not just Rosie O'Donnell, but all of us Americans who could stand to lose a few pounds.
If you haven't heard, two thirds of the country's adults and one third of its children are overweight or obese. We're apparently facing a crisis of supersized proportions -- an epidemic, some headlines claim. If it gets any worse, we won't be able to fit into our cars to get to the drive-thru at McDonald's or Burger King.
And critics are complaining that a new set of government public service ads are too soft on the hefty masses.
They suggest that previous public service efforts properly ostracized drunks and sufficiently shamed dopers, but that the government's "Small Steps" campaign tip toes around the issue of obesity.
It's time to get tough, they say. It's time for The Donald, I say.
Trump is the right guy for the job. He's meaner than a schoolyard bully. He loves telling people how to live their lives. People who don't measure up to The Donald's standards get sued, fired or divorced. He called Rosie a "fat pig." I wouldn't mess with Rosie. Would you?
Rosie didn't have much good to say about Trump either, but if you can look past the blustery personality and the bad hair (Trump's, not Rosie's), I suspect you'll find somebody who really wants what's best for his fellow Americans.
After all, a guy can't be so bad if he's written books such as "Trump: How to Get Rich" and "Why We Want You to be Rich: Two Men -- One Message." If he needs convincing, we can tell him that diet books are apparently even bigger money makers than get-rich books, but I'm sure a guy with a brilliant financial mind like Trump has already figured that out.
Trump considered running for president in 2000, but this is a much more important job. America's waistline is at stake. He could be Donald Trump, CEO of cellulite. And if we don't like it, he'll just say, "You're fired, you fat pigs."
Posted by Jack Perry 
at 1:42 PM | Permalink
Please be civil. Vicious comments, personal attacks and profanity won't be published.
