Projo Offbeat Blog

The Associated press reports that astronomers "believe they've found a second planet outside our solar system that seems to be in the right zone for life, just barely."

"But it would feel like a steam bath -- hot, sticky and beyond uncomfortable."

In other words, they've discovered Planet Florida, a place where nobody can go outside from May to September and everyone drives with their turn signal on unless they're actually turning.

The anti-smoking crowd has finally gone too far.

They won't let you smoke at work, at restaurants or even in prison. You can't smoke at some parks or beaches. In some cities in California, you can't smoke anywhere except for your home.

And now, apparently, you can't smoke at the zoo -- even if you're an orangutan that enjoys a smoke.

In Malaysia, government authorities seized an orangutan named Shirley after discovering she liked smoking cigarettes thrown to her by zoo customers.

Shirley is now in quarantine without her cigarettes. The Associated Press quoted an official saying that she wouldn't get any more cigarettes because "smoking is not normal behavior for orangutans."

Shirley spent her day sitting in a pit blowing smoke out her nose while people stared at her. What else was she supposed to do to pass the time?

Shirley was pulled from the zoo after a British group complained. (Aren't there enough smokers in England to keep them busy?) According to the Associated Press, the group said Shirley seemed to suffer severe mood swings, sometimes looking drowsy and on other occasions appearing "very agitated" without a cigarette.

And now that she's been forced to quit for good, I'm sure she'll be a real pleasure.

What do you do when you're a bored Amish teenager looking for fun?

Apparently you get some booze, jump in the horse and buggy and lead the police on a chase.

At least that's the impression I get from reading this story, which was published last summer but is apparently still popular on the web: Amish Teen Led Cops on Horse and Buggy Chase, Say Police

The kid, Levi Detweiler, 17, was charged with overdriving an animal (even though the chase was described as "low speed"), reckless endangerment, failure to stop at a stop sign and failure to yield to an emergency vehicle and underage possession of alcohol.

But shouldn't the horse shoulder some of the blame in this?

After all, wasn't it the horse that ultimately refused to stop for the police car.

And if the horse wasn't drinking, why is alcohol an issue?

I get the impression that some police officers are just itching to use their Tasers, and this story from Boston.com provides more evidence in support of that theory.

By Peter Schworm, Globe Staff

Was it a case of cruel and un-moo-sual punishment?

Police corralled a runaway cow in Pelham, N.H., last weekend by jolting it with a Taser gun, drawing a formal compaint from the cow's owner, who said it was heartless and unnecessary.

But Sergeant.Michael Pickles said the electric jolts were necessary to slow the 800-pound animal, which had barrelled through a wooden fence and had crossed a major road several times.

"Something had to be done," Pickles said. "This is a very powerful animal that was highly agitated and on the move."

The Lowell Sun first reported the incident, and the owner's complaint, in today's editions.

Zapping the animal subdued it long enough for officers to steer it into a pen, Pickles said. Before that, several officers had chased the animal for more than an hour through a residential neighborhood without getting close enough to seize it. Officers almost caught her in the backyard of a home, but the cow "got spooked" and ran through a wooden fence, Pickles said.

"It's not that we were trying to make the animal feel pain," Pickles said. "We were just hoping to incapacitate it." Pickles said the tasing did not harm the animal.

But the cow's owner said police overreacted and that the cow, which is less than a year old, was already under control when they tased it.

"It was almost like they wanted to punish the cow for ruining their afternoon," said Doug Hirsch, 50.

Hirsch said they had just bought the cow and that it was skittish because of its new surroundings. In honor of its exploits, they have named the cow Houdini.

"After recent attacks, officials urge moose respect," reads the headline on an Associated Press story about moose attacking people in Alaska.

Seems reasonable enough. Any animal that weighs 900 pounds and can charge you with antlers deserves plenty of respect.

Moose seem mellow enough but apparently they're not such gentle giants, and they get very territorial during birthing season. The story reported on at least four people who were attacked, including Della Cioppa, 65, who was slammed to the ground and suffered a broken collar bone and ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a bruise shaped like a hoof on her forehead, according to the story.

The moose then jumped over her and charged two state trooper, who had come to help. They shot it.

It doesn't sound like the kind of behavior you'd expect from a relative of Bullwinkle J. Moose.

NH man surprised paper corrects 112-year-old obit

WALPOLE, N.H. (AP) -- When Daniel Schwenk came across his great-uncle's 112-year-old obituary in The New York Times, he noticed some errors and sent a lighthearted letter to the paper. He didn't count on a full-length story Tuesday correcting the mistakes.

"We just did it as sort of a tongue-in-cheek thing, but it's blossomed out," said Schwenk, 77, a retired dentist who lives in Walpole, N.H.

The obituary published June 29, 1889, was for Lt. Milton K. Schwenk. The five-paragraph story listed his first name as Melton, not Milton. It had the wrong dates for his years spent at the United States Naval Academy and his family's hometown and state.

The story also said his father, Abraham, immigrated to the United States, when really he was born in Schuylkill County, Pa.

"I realize it is a tad late," Daniel Schwenk wrote last month, "but I would like to correct the notice."

The Times took it seriously and dug into Milton Schwenk's past, even looking at other newspapers' obituaries on him and at a book about the family. It also had background on an 1887 gunshot wound to his hand that cut short his career in the Navy.

Daniel Schwenk said that through the process, he learned that his great uncle has some descendants that he hopes to meet some day.

I sometimes fret because I was born before computers were a big part of every kid's life.

Today's kids seem to have a natural instinct for computers, and some of us adults have to turn to them for help when we can't get the pesky machines to do what we want.

But I'm glad I was born before computer technology threatened every kid's dream day, which is, of course, a snow day off from school.

It's a little disturbing to read, as this Associated Press story reports, that the Internet could spell the end of snow days.

Here's the first few graphs and a link in the headline if you're that interested:

Could the Internet spell the end of snow days?

By HEATHER HOLLINGSWORTH
Associated Press

PARKVILLE, Mo. (AP) -- Could the Internet mean the end of snow days? Some schools think so, and they are experimenting with ways for students to do lessons online during bad weather, potentially allowing classes to go on during even the worst blizzard.

"Virtual snow days" would help ease pressure on school calendars. Because districts are required to be in session for a certain number of hours or days, losing teaching time to winter weather can mean extending the school day or cutting short spring break or summer vacation.

And canceling school in the winter, when some of the most difficult material of the year is covered, risks leaving students with a learning deficit heading into the spring, when many states administer standardized tests.