Projo Offbeat Blog

It's easy to take for granted the significance of July 4th, especially since the English have proven to be strong, if quirky, friends over time. But if not for the courage and vision of patriots such as Rhode Island's own Nathanael Greene, life in these United States could be quite different today. Here's what July 4, 2008, might look like in Rhode Island if we were still British subjects.

NEWPORT, July 4, 2008 -- Thousands gathered outside the Newport summer mansions of Prince Charles and Queen Elizabeth today to protest what one person characterized as "public subsidies of their opulent lifestyles."

In a season of public demonstrations over drastic budget cuts, this was easily the largest protest and some protesters claimed many more would have joined them, but they couldn't afford to take the day away from work.

"How can we buy the prince a new polo horse when we're cutting Meals on Wheels?," one protester asked incredulously.

"The queen has a better pension than the judges," another said even more incredulously.

As Rhode Islanders struggle with a weak economy and high unemployment rates, the taxpayer-supported lifestyle of the Royal Family has come under increasing scrutiny in recent months.

And the Royals haven't done much to help quell the growing discontent.

While Rhode Islanders are having trouble paying for gasoline and groceries, Prince Charles has decided to run his car on wine.

The queen continues to travel around the world at a time when many here have replaced their summer vacations with 'staycations,' which essentially means they move into a tent in the backyard of a neighbor who owns a pool.

And as banks repossess the "chick-magnet" sports cars from a record number of young Rhode Island men, Prince William impressed women at Narragansett Beach by repeatedly buzzing across the beach in a low-flying military helicopter.

Nevertheless, some in the group were clearly wrestling with mixed emotions. When the queen walked onto a balcony, looked down and tilted her hand slightly to acknowledge the crowd, many threw down their signs and grabbed their cameras, shouting, "Queen Mum...Queen Mum," before they regained their composure.

>> Continue reading: Imagine marking The Fourth with the Royal Family

Thousands, maybe millions of cicadas have crawled out of the ground in my Cape Cod neighborhood. They're all over the place -- on the trees, driveway, the side of my house, inside my house -- and their constant buzz is driving my crazy.

Check out a video report on the creepy little guys that, believe it or not, I think I'll miss when they go away in a couple of weeks.

Interested in hiking? Here's a list of essential gear, whether you're a woman or a man: map, compass, sports bra.

That's right. You should pack a sports bra, even if you're a guy.

According to an Associated Press story, an American hiker stranded in the Bavarian Alps for nearly three days was rescued after using her sports bra as a signal.

Berchtesgaden police officer Lorenz Rasp said that he helped lift 24-year-old Jessica Bruinsma, of Colorado, to safety by helicopter on Thursday after she attracted the attention of lumberjacks by attaching her sports bra to a cable used to move timber down the mountain, the story reports.

"She's a very smart girl, and she acted very resourcefully," said Rasp. "She kept her shirt and jacket for warmth, but thought the sports bra could work as a signal."

Good thinking on her part, and I'm thinking a sports-bra-rescue-me flag catches attention no matter who flies it.

Sure, a lumberjack rescue crew might be disappointed to discover a lost guy and not a damsel in distress waving the flag, but they'd have to be awfully cold to leave him in the wilderness.

Saturday morning we plan to upgrade the active projo blogs to a new version of the Movable Type software. All blogs will remain available during this process. Afterwards you’ll see a new look and some new features, and we’ll welcome your comments about them.

Journal file photo (left), Journal photo/ Bill Murphy (right)
The thought of a tasty lobster dinner and the smooth talk of con man John Kluth are a dangerous combination.

Con man John Kluth may have the charm of a prince. He may have been perceptive enough to prey on people with kind hearts. But lobster was the key to his success.

Lobster is like a powerful drug.

Just the thought of it makes us crazy. It prompts us to don silly bibs and make messy fools of ourselves in public. It makes us reach deep into our pockets -- even when we're not being conned. The feds should declare lobster a controlled substance and regulate its distribution and consumption.

Kluth has grabbed headlines and airwaves in Rhode Island for months -- a guy who was able to con 30 people, many of them smart and accomplished, out of thousands of dollars.

How did he do it?

Most of Kluth's marks fell for his story about a truck in need of repair before his load of lobster perished. He promised to pay them back, and -- here's the kicker -- he'd even throw in some free lobsters as a sign of his gratitude.

Perfect. Who isn't a hero when he brings home a couple of lobsters? Who wouldn't want to make friends with a guy who can get us free lobsters? It would be like having a buddy who regularly comes up with great seats at Fenway or tickets to see Jimmy Buffett.

There's no way Kluth's con would have worked as well if it involved a truck full of tomatoes or frozen chickens.

On Wednesday, Kluth got his payback in a courtroom. He was called "rotten," "a predator" and "incorrigible." The judge sent him to prison for 16 years.

Still, if in 16 years, a guy approaches me with a story of a broken-down lobster truck, I just might reach into my pocket, even though I should know better. I want to think people are trustworthy. I want to think I'm the type who would help a person in need, but, most of all, I really like lobster.

Great news. Man can now drink beer with his best friend.

The makers of Bowser Beer boast it's "what every dog craves!," which may seem over the top, but most dogs I know crave just about anything they can consume.

Also, Bowser Beer is beef flavored, which makes me think it would also be craved by every human man, if they could just figure out how to put alcohol in it.

That's right. Bowser beer calls itself beer, even though it doesn't contain alcohol. The makers of Bowser beer claim that alcohol is bad for dogs. I'm not sure if that's true, but it's probably a good idea to restrict a dog's alcohol consumption. Dog's manners are bad enough even when they're sober.

After all, dogs aren't modest when it comes to bathing, relieving themselves or displaying affection in public. A lot of them enjoy trashing fuzzy little things like teddy bears and small animals. And some of them display aggressive, antisocial behavior, even though they don't have to drive cars in traffic like we humans do.

Bowser Beer comes in a handy six-pack, available through the Web site 3busydogs.com. You can also buy doggie pretzels if the two of you would like to hunker down in the man cave to watch the Celtics or the Red Sox. And you can have your best friend's beer bottles personalized with his picture.

I know. This might seem like a lot of trouble and expense. You could easily enough pour some of your beer into his bowl and eliminate a lot of fuss, but then you'd have to worry about what your drunken dog would do to your neighbor's yard, your neighbor's cat or your neighbor.

More importantly, sharing would mean less beer for you, and this "man's best friend" stuff goes only so far.

AP photo and Journal file photo
Is that Dr. Victor Ehrlich, a.k.a. Ed Begley Jr., on the left taking in the French Open? No, it's six-time French Open winner Bjorn Borg. The photo fooled me until I read the cutline information. Still, I can't remember ever seeing Borg and Begley, right, in the same place. Want to see more OffBeat lookalikes? Click on these links. Trump-Gretsky, Sipowicz-Procaccini, Pitino-Moriarty.