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March 17, 2008

Murphy's Law: All pols deserve to be roasted

St. Patrick’s Day was celebrated today with House Speaker William Murphy’s annual "Murphy’s Law" luncheon in downtown Providence, where the one-liners and zingers flew from Murphy and landed on business leaders, State House political figures, lobbyists, judges and members of Rhode Island’s Washington congressional delegation.

The meal featured the traditional Irish fare of corned beef and cabbage at the Federal Reserve on Dorrance Street. Murphy served up his own ration of humor at today’s event, the fourth annual "Murphy’s Law" luncheon.

Everybody who is anybody in Rhode Island politics attended; the head table was held down by Governor Carcieri, Lt. Gov. Elizabeth Roberts, Atty. Gen. Patrick Lynch, Secretary of State A. Ralph Mollis, General Treasurer Frank Caprio, Providence Mayor David Cicilline, and House Majority Leader Gordon Fox.

Bob Burke, owner of the Federal Reserve, kicked off the verbal roasting with a welcome for former Providence Mayor Vincent A. "Buddy" Cianci Jr. Burke said that Cianci, released from federal prison last July, couldn’t make last year’s St. Patrick’s luncheon because "he was unable to get parole.’’

Among the targets today was New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s downfall; the state budget shortfall; the December 13, 2007 snowstorm; the transfer of Steve Kass, Carcieri’s former communications director, to a job at the state Emergency Management Agency; and various peccadillos of Rhode Island lawmakers and state officials.

Murphy twitted his top lieutenant, Majority Leader Fox, who has a name similar to the false one used by Spitzer for his assignation with a prostitute in Washington’s Mayflower Hotel.

"We all know that Gordon Fox would never spend $4,300 on a woman,’’ said Murphy. "A bellhop, that might be a different story."

Joking about criticism that the General Assembly has not followed through on putting into the 2002 Separation of Powers referendum, Democrat Murphy said of Republican Carcieri, "We’re still trying to separate the governor from his powers."

The queues at the state Division of Motor Vehicles are so long, Murphy said, "that drug dealers still have to wait four hours to get a fake license."

-- Journal staff writer Scott MacKay

Chiding Mike O’Connell, chairman of the West Warwick St. Patrick’s Day Parade Committee, Murphy said O’Connell didn’t seem to know that Palm Sunday marked the beginning of Holy Week. "Thanks to Mike and others like him I continue to represent the people of West Warwick."

In a shot at Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse, a well-born Protestant, Murphy said that after Spitzer was caught in the Mayflower hotel with a prostitute, Whitehouse ``should not tell anyone that you’re connected to the Mayflower.’’

Murphy also lampooned some of his GOP House opponents, including Rep. Robert Watson, R-East Greenwich, Rep. Nicholas Gorham, R-Coventry and Rep. Joseph Trillo, R-Warwick, as Larry, Curly and Moe of "The Three Stooges."

Rhode Island Supreme Court Chief Justice Frank Williams, an Abraham Lincoln afficianado, was spoofed in a large photograph showing him wearing a top hat that mimicked one worn by Lincoln.

Cianci arrived with a few bon mots of his own. As Burke, especially, droned on, Cianci said the luncheon was ``going on longer than my prison sentence.’’

Cianci joked that Italian immigrants were once accused of bringing organized crime to American shores by establishing La Cosa Nostra. But it was Irish immigrants who really set up an organized cartel, Cianci said. ``They called it the Democratic Party.’’

To the tune of the St. Patrick’s Day perennial `The Wild Rover,’ Montalbano sung a tune about the state’s budget problems and the downturn in state gambling revenue from the Twin River slot machine emporium.

```Well, we’re half a billion in the hole this year, and how we will fix it Il have no idea. I thought we knew the ways and means but they’re not showing up to play slot machines. And it’s no, nay never, never, no nay never no more, do they play at Twin River, no never no more,’’ sang Montalbano.

Rep. Richard Singleton, R-Cumberland, sung a rousing rendition of `O Danny Boy.’ And Harry Casey, an aide to Murphy, finished with a benediction,’’May the road rise up to meet you, may all your glasses be filled with plenty and may you never be subpoened by U.S. Attorney Robert Clark Corrente.’’

A portion of the proceeds from the $40 per person event went to the Rhode Island Food Bank.

Posted by Mike McKinney at 5:15 PM | Permalink

March 17, 2008

Murphy's Law: All pols deserve to be roasted

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