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June 14, 2006

Step Right Up, We'll Guess Your Weight

FOXBORO - Day 2 of Patriots Minicamp brought another day of "That jersey makes him look fat..." conversations from those charged with chronicling the exploits of the great franchise.

During Bill Belichick's press conference, a writer asked Bill Belichick if linebacker Monty Beisel had put on some muscle during the offseason. Belichick said no, nothing worth noting.

The writer mentioned that Beisel himself said he'd put on more than a dozen punds. Belichick differed about said beefiness and said he'd check the weigh-in numbers but didn't think that was the case.

This was all very civil, by the way, it was just getting to be kind of funny. Then the writer said he thought Beisel looked a little more "cut." Which would be hard to tell because the fella was fully clothed. Instead of a shrug, though, Belichick said he thought Beisel was pretty "cut" last year.

At this point, i started staring at my shoes because the whole thing had gone two exits past amusing and entered into awkwardly hysterical.

Had the writer not folded his tent we might still be there talking about body fat and lats.

Ironically (or coincidentally...or maybe even interestingly) yesterday, I noted that Corey Dillon looked like he had something approximating his old explosiveness during practice. I thought he looked in fine fettle. My buddy from the Herald and Boston's ESPN Radio 890 thought Dillon looked out of shape.

Not only did Mike and I see Dillon differently, I commented on the fact that Johnathan Sullivan's 315 pounds were well distributed.

Felger called Sullivan a "fat tub of goo" (bonus points if you know what circumstance first made that phrase famous).

So I said to Felger today, "You thought he was fat?"

"Yeah, did you see his face?" he answered.

"Well his head alone probably weighs 44 pounds but other than that he didn't look fat to me."

Anyway, I pledge to cease all commentary on player physiques for the remainder of minicamp.

And "fat tub of goo" was used by David Letterman to describe Dodgers reliever Terry Forster way back when. You can Google it to get the right date, I don't feel like it.

Tom

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