Christie Humphries: March 2009 Archives

I debated on whether to even post a blog in response to ABC's After the Final Rose - Part Two Special, but then I decided that there were a couple of things that I would like to say.

First of all, if you missed the show, just mix 10 minutes of the Women Tell All Special from last week and 10 minutes of the After the Final Rose Special from Monday night, add a little more crying, with a dash of Jillian and stir. That was it. It was pretty much an hour of my life that I will never get back. Even my dog was bored.

Secondly, the only reason I watched the show was because the buzz was that Jason might actually propose to Molly on the show, which DID NOT happen. They did announce however that they have spent several weekends together over the last six weeks and Molly is now excited to be moving to Seattle to start their life together. Gag!

And last but not least, ABC announced that Jillian is the "new" Bachelorette, which most people expected, after Chris Harrison's comment during the Women Tell All Special. I have to say that I like Jillian, but why do we always have to have a reject play the part of the Bachelorette? Aren't there any attractive, single, successful women left in the US to play this part? Why do we search high and low for men to play the Bachelor, but we take the leftovers for the Bachelorette? Now to be fair, Jason was a leftover too, but I know a hundred women who would sign up to take their pick from 25 eligible single men looking for a relationship. I know some men too!

I can just picture the first episode now...25 single men standing around in the same old mansion trying to choose a condiment for their hotdog, knowing that ketchup could send them home at any minute. There will be jumping on beds and chicken fights in the pool...but no more hot tubbing. Jillian's dad has seen enough of that...so have the rest of us! I hope they make it exciting. Maybe they can bring on a bunch of Jillian's old boyfriend's to give the guys advise. I just hope she doesn't get dumped...A-GAIN.

Tune in May 18th for the premiere of The Bachelorette - The Canadian Edition!

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What the?! Seriously...what the@#?! I know that there was speculation, but I don't think that I really believed that it could be true. Brad Womack must be jumping around his house in his underwear screaming, "YES! YES! Jason's a bigger jerk than me!" Well, maybe not in his underwear, but I do enjoy picturing him that way...okay focus...Jason Messnick proves that it's never too late to prove that people always want what they can't have and that deep down he's just as screwed up as all the women he's criticized. Unless of course he's trying to make us believe that it's okay for him to propose to Melissa and then walk away without a fight, but it wasn't okay for DeAnna to let him get down on one knee. At least she didn't let him propose. At least she let him go right then and told him she was in love with someone else. She didn't drag him along for months on some ridiculous love roller coaster that dumped him on his butt at the end. No, that's what he did to Melissa, because he's such a "stand up guy" who just has to follow his heart. Is it really your heart you're following Jason? Maybe you weren't following your heart. Maybe you were following something else and that's what made you choose Melissa.

Jason said that when he let Molly go, it was like he "lost a piece of himself". Well when Jason announced on the after show that he no longer wanted to be with Melissa and was instead in love with Molly, I lost a piece of myself too. It was actually my lunch. Well it was probably my dinner. I lost my lunch when DeAnna showed up for the most anti-climatic bachelor moment ever. I don't understand why it was so important to fly DeAnna halfway across the world to mess with the guy's head, but I was a little pleased to hear DeAnna refer to herself as "very very stupid". Of course she was referring to anyone who would give Jason up, but she probably doesn't feel that way anymore. It's nice to know that she has grown from her experience and has been able to stretch her 15 minutes of fame just a wee bit further.

I don't have children, but I don't think that the standard greeting for a child is to tackle them and roll around on the ground every time you see them. I know that it had been a while since they had seen each other, but I'm beginning to think Jason enjoys having a signature move for everyone in his life. Greeting for children - tackle and roll on the ground. Greeting for women - grab and twirl. Greeting for Chris Harrison - shake hands, cry and act confused.

I think he proposed to Melissa because she looked the most like DeAnna and he wanted to know what it would feel like to dump her. Jason described Molly as oxygen...without her he couldn't breathe. You don't dump oxygen Jason. It just doesn't make any sense. No wonder Molly was confused. We all were.

Jason starts the show by introducing both girls to his family and his son Ty. Melissa gets to play golf and pet a sheep....and who knew Melissa had all the jokes? Knock Knock...Who's There?.....Baaaaaaastard! I find it interesting that Jason's family spent so much time trying to make sure that Melissa wouldn't hurt their precious Jason and he's the one that wound up doing all the damage. I'm kind of over the whole Jason deserves happiness thing. Doesn't everyone deserve happiness? Doesn't Melissa? Doesn't Molly? Molly's date was a little rougher than Melissa's. Ty didn't warm up to her immediately, not until she taught him how to throw Frisbees, fly kites, and pick up shells on the beach. He even gave her a ring made of sea shells. That's almost as good as a diamond right?

Instead of going to pick out the engagement ring in a store like they normally do, some chic from a local pawn shop stops by with a suitcase and lets Jason pick out a ring like you'd select a watch out from under some guy's coat on a street corner in New York. I'm exaggerating of course, but it did seem a little strange to me that almost the entire show was shot at the rental house in New Zealand. I guess they couldn't get permits to shoot anywhere else.

I hated to see Molly step out of the limo first and walk down that treacherous path in high heals. I just knew someone was going to take a nose dive in the gravel, but no such luck. I was proud of Molly for telling Jason that she felt like he was making a mistake. She really seemed to be more concerned about him getting hurt again than she was about herself. I especially loved his dramatic little speech to her as he put her in the limo, "Everything was real. I started falling in love with you very early on. Always know that"...now get in the car. It's so retarded....and why can't that limo driver stock the car with Kleenex? Do they think it's funny to make those poor girls wipe their tears with their hands? Poor thing must have gotten mascara all over her dress.

Jason said that Melissa was one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen in his life and he felt like she really truly needed him. I think that's why he really picked her. Every guy wants to feel needed...and it doesn't hurt if the girl is really good looking. I think he felt safe with Melissa, but I think Molly needed him too. Maybe not for the same reasons Melissa did, but that doesn't mean that her needs were less important. He kept talking about Molly's career like it would get in the way of their family. Last time I checked, being with a woman who has a stable job is a good thing, especially in this economy. I would think that would be the best thing any family could ask for.

I wish they hadn't run the after the final rose special immediately after the finale. The show ended with such a sweet moment between Melissa and Jason, you didn't even get to enjoy that warm fuzzy feeling, before ABC brought Jason back out on the couch to shatter the dream. Jason announced that since "this thing" ended, things have been different and that he and Melissa were not right for each other. "The chemistry has been completely different...The love and the passion just isn't there...and over the past few weeks, all I can think about is Molly". Seriously?! After all that, you're going to drag poor Melissa out on stage and end your relationship on national television. Couldn't you just pretend for a couple weeks and then let the tabloids get wind of the break up a few months later like everyone else? Awesome Jason! Truly awesome! You're a real piece of work. It's never too late to send the girl home crying in the limo. God knows we've never seen that before.

Poor Melissa was so shocked she started speaking in 3rd person. I actually saw more emotion out of Chris Harrison during the break up than Jason. For the first time, Jason wasn't emotional. He was almost cold the way he delivered the news to Melissa. He didn't even seem upset until she walked out. "I hate myself for what I'm doing to Melissa"...well guess what...she hates you too! As she put it, "You should know better than to do something like this. Don't call me. Don't talk to me anymore. Leave me alone. Please." Sorry Melissa...your shot at love has definitely ended.

I still don't know why they didn't do the whole thing Jerry Springer style. I think they should have sat them all down on the couch with Jason in the middle and let them duke it out. I don't think Molly would have been so eager to give Jason another shot had she seen how poorly he handled the break up with Melissa. But no, they kept her in the dark the entire time, so when she came out it was like a dream come true. A very badly scripted and confusing dream...but a dream! She just sat there and stared back and forth between Chris and Jason like "Is this for real? Am I being punked? I mean he did say I was the best kisser...could this be true?" Yes, Molly! You are the runner up in the Miss America Pageant that wins because the original Miss America posed nude for Playboy and had to give up her crown. Melissa did not fulfill all of Jason's expectations, so now she's being forced to give back her ring and turn Jason over to the second runner up to fulfill her duties. For Molly's sake, I hope it works out, but as far as Jason is concerned, he can go fly a kite.

Tune in tomorrow for the After the After the Final Rose Special. As Chris Harrison likes to say, "for everyone that's been a part of this one"... and those who wish they weren't..."goodnight"!

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