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June 2009
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If it is possible for a girl to be thinking with the wrong "thing", I think Jillian is doing just that. How else can you explain her extremely poor sense of judgment when it comes to Wes? I have to personally thank ABC for single handedly finding the biggest piece of work in the entire city and putting him on this show. For years, our fine city has been ranked as one of the best cities in the Country for singles. Now everyone is going to think that the reason we have so many singles is because the city is full of jerks like Wes. Where are all the good men? Maybe they are in Philly! Reid's hometown date in Philadelphia was a hit with Jillian. As she said, "He has a warmth about him". I definitely don't see him as the type of guy to deceive her. His family was very welcoming and seemed really surprised to see Reid so happy and affectionate. When he told his father that Jillian was definitely a girl he could fall in love with, Reid's dad told him to go into it "head over heels...that's the only way good things will happen." I think I've actually heard that advice before on previous episodes of The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Maybe our generation is becoming too conscious. Maybe that's why everyone is taking so much longer to settle down and this is their parent's way of trying to speed things up. They looked good together when they kissed. It was very believable. You can almost see the butterflies in Reid's stomach when she's around. I definitely think he'll be around for a while. Michael was the next to introduce Jillian to his family and his identical twin brother. Thank God his brother wasn't nearly as annoying as Michael. I don't think the world could handle two of them. He even tried to pull the old switch-a-roo on her. Thankfully, she caught on immediately. He gets so excited. He's like a little pop tart jumping up and down all the time. If I made my list of "negotiables and non-negotiables" ... Not acting like a chimpanzee on crack would be at the top of the list. But apparently, Jillian's only non-negotiable is finding someone who makes her laugh...at him, not with him. I do have to admit though, he seemed very sincere when he talked about her...it was pretty sweet. I think Jillian may have a hard time watching this show later on and seeing how much he truly cared about her. Kiptyn and Jillian met up on the beach. He is "that guy" that she's always dreamed of. Me too! Going up to Kiptyn's house was a bit overwhelming for her...she was feeling that she might not fit in with his family, but she relaxed the minute his family pointed out the caution tape surrounding the hot tub. I think she knew once they started poking fun at her and her infamous hot tub scene, that these people were okay. Nothing to be afraid of....except maybe his mother. I think she's nice, but the way she was lurking by the door, creeped me out a bit. But I don't think his mom or that caution tape is going to keep Jillian from getting her hands on Kiptyn. Don't call it a comeback! But to everyone's surprise, Ed came back to ask Jillian for another shot at love. As he explained to her, he couldn't stop thinking about her after he left the show and decided that he had made a huge mistake. He wanted her to know that he felt like they were perfect for each other. I think they are perfect for each other too. I even think they look alike. I heart Ed. I'm going to call him the comeback kid. I'm so happy he's back. I had him pegged in my top three from the beginning. I was so sure of it. My gut is never wrong! Come ride with me...come ride with me on my tractor. That's pretty much Jesse's idea of the ultimate in romantic dates. Don't get me wrong...the dude is hot and owns a winery...I'd ride a donkey with him if he wanted me to. You should always keep the guy that has alcohol readily available. His brother, Jacob, looked a lot like Jesse...just add hair...a lot of it. Jacob seemed really skeptical about this entire process, but I think Jesse really won him over when he expressed his true feelings toward Jillian. He almost won me over too until they broke out into that family jam session. This ain't the Partridge Family people! The Firestone's don't play the drums. Leave the musical stylings to Wes. He wants all the attention anyway, which was apparent on his hometown date in the good old city of Austin, that he seems desperate to give a bad name. Instead of taking Jillian to meet his family right away, he takes her to meet his band and give himself one more chance to sing that stupid song. But Jillian just stands there in her big red boots with a big grin on her face. She's totally clueless when it comes to Wes. He even said, "I've gotten myself so far into this that I feel like I'm stuck". Yeah that's what I have always wanted to hear a guy say to me. But he quickly covers his tracks, by saying that he wouldn't be here if he didn't want to be and that she shouldn't doubt his true intentions. "I'm not a very good liar", he said. No...you're a great one! Well Jake wasn't going to stand by and let Jillian get her heart broken. So he decided to fly to Austin and tell Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend and he's knows this because Wes told him about her (Laurel) not once, not twice, but three times! Come on Jillian. Guys don't talk about girls that much unless they still have feelings for them. Even if they broke up a year ago and they are just "really good friends" who sleep together occasionally and make out in public (I made that up), it doesn't mean that she's his "girlfriend". She's just a girl, that's a friend, who he talks about...a lot...to Jake...and Tanner. You have nothing to be concerned about. WAKE UP! Stop giving him roses you stupid girl! At the rose ceremony, Jillian knows she has a tough decision to make. She asked Ed to stay for the rose ceremony, so now she knows that she has to send two guys home instead of just one, because she can only take four guys on her hometown dates. I wish Chris Harrison would have just played her some tapes of Wes being a jerk, but no. The producers just want to leave that poor girl in the dark. Jillian stands in front of her boys, nervously holding the first rose. She calls Reid's name first, then Kiptyn. Deep breath... Ed gets the third...Yes! Yes! Then she does exactly what we all knew she would...she chooses Wes....you IDIOT! I have to give some props to Jesse. He walks up to Jillian and gives her a big hug, then walks out, doesn't even say anything, doesn't even turn around. I think Jillian was a little shocked, but I think she deserved it. He was right...Ed stole his rose and Wes was there for the wrong reasons. It may sting now...but he's better off. Poor sweet Michael...as much as he annoys the crap out of me...I was really touched by his speech. He said that he could not say a bad thing about that girl. He straight up loved her. He said that if he could see her again, he would tell her three things...You're beautiful, I'm going to miss you, and be happy. I was heartbroken for him. Next week, Jillian is going to take the Final Four to Spain for some more exciting adventures. I hope Jillian figures out that the only tour Wes is going to take her on is his TOUR DE PANTS. Jillian changes things up this week by taking the elite eight for a train ride on the Rocky Mountaineer! Things get going pretty quickly on this episode, as Robby is selected for the first one on one date. Robby joked, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....get that rose". They had a lovely dinner in the caboose. Though that doesn't necessarily sound appetizing, it was Robby's last chance to make a good impression on Jillian. Jillian said that she wanted someone who was not so serious to cheer her up, so I guess that's why she selected the guy who knew his way around a bar. It's always good to start a "do or die" date with a strong cocktail. It takes the sting off the impending dumpage. Jillian said that Robby made her feel 5 or 10 years younger, but when Robby started talking about his family's curse of not getting married, I think Jillian aged a few years. She immediately stated in on the tough questions. Basically, Robby revealed that he's 25, with no job, and no real idea of where he is going. The number one sign that your date is going badly...the train slows down...literally...and your luggage is dumped on the side of the tracks. Needless to say, Robby did not get that rose and was forced to deboard the love train. As the train pulled away and the other guys waved their goodbyes through the window, the boys began to realize that Jillian was as serious as a train wreck about finding love. Michael even started to cry. I think he was even more upset than Jillian about Robby's departure, but then again, she had Wes to console her. Leave it to Wes to swoop in and cheer her up. As he said, he's always going to have her wrapped around his little finger. He went as far as to say that he could taste the fame he was going to get from this show. He was so shameless about his not so hidden agenda that he spoke about it openly, not realizing that by making himself out to be an insincere jerk, he was single handedly making himself infamous not famous. I have to give some props to our Texas boys for making up 50% of the final eight. Wes, Robby, Tanner and Jake all hale from the Lone Star State. Not Bad! However, only 5 get to take Jillian on a hometown date and Robby has already been given the boot! The rest of the crew got to go snow shoeing around the lake, which was very exciting for Tanner, because he got another chance to touch her feet as he helped her get strapped in. It's hard to look sexy in snow shoes, but Jillian somehow managed to have a good time playing hide and seek and snuggling in the show with "Mr. Perfect", Jake. After their day in the snow, they spent some time at a local cabin, getting to know each other better. Jake got the first crack at some alone time, where he convinced Jillian what a great idea it would be for her to go back to his hometown and give his parents a chance to embarrass him. Just as the conversation was getting "electric" as he put it, the other guys came down to break things up. Kiptyn stole her away for some touchy feely time. This intimate setting gave Jillian a chance to showcase her big red boots again. Apparently it was a big turn on for Kiptyn, because they didn't talk for long before they started making out. I don't think she really cares what Kiptyn says. She just stares at his mouth and nods her head up and down. Physical attraction... CHECK! Hopefully, she gets a chance to learn more about him on his hometown date other than the fact that he's a good kisser. The other four boys decide that it's time for some answers to the really important questions like..."What do you wear when you sleep?" I'm guessing Michael wears his favorite striped hoody, since he wears it every week on this show, but he tried to convince us that he prefers to be naked. Jillian on the other hand, ops for underwear and a tank top or if she's been drinking, just the underwear. TMI! Tanner decides to show her and everyone else what he wears to bed. He decides that the best way to win a hometown date is to drop trow in front of everyone. Jillian was not ready to see "the package", even though she admitted that it was HUGE. Maybe he should have put it in a box. She was at least impressed enough to give him some one on one time...with her feet. Tanner and Jillian sat down on some kind of animal skin rug in front of the fire and Tanner busted out some lotion and started rubbing down her feet. It was love at first sight. "Now that I know how soft her feet are...I want her to meet my family". Really?! Is that gonna make your momma proud Tanner? The only thing that matters when looking for your future mate is high arches, mango toe nail polish, and no funny shaped toes? Well at least we know his priorities are in order....whatever freak! Jesse opens up to Jillian and lets her know that fighting for time with her is a bit of a struggle for him. He prefers to have one on one time and knows that his family would love her if she would just come home with him. She admires his ability to communicate about his feelings. It was the spark she needed to put him on her YES list. Michael, on the other hand, was still kind of teetering on the NO list. Though he makes her laugh and she has a great time with him, she just can't seem to get over his age or find the physical connection that she's looking for. Back in the cabin, the other boys start talking about what's going on and Tanner finally comes clean about the fact that he was the one that told Jillian about the whole girlfriend situation. AND...Wes finally lets his secret out of the box...he's a prick! He can't stand a tattle tale, but he doesn't mind being liar and a jerk. "I've already made it six shows, you know what I mean...I got to serenade her with my song...I've gotten out of this what I needed to get out of it." Like Tanner said...he is an awful human. Later...in the hot tub...Jillian hands out her group date rose to Kiptyn and tells him how excited she is to meet his family, leaving the other five to sweat it out until the official rose ceremony. Back on the train the next morning, Jake puts his heart on his sleeve and tells her what she already knew, that he is super sweet and super into her, unfortunately, I'm not so sure that she feels the same. Reid's one on one date entailed a full day of snowboarding and falling on his butt. Apparently, Jillian likes a guy to fall for her. She was impressed by his ability to embarrass himself and get back up again. They got to relax in the "ice sculpture lounge" after their long day on the slopes above Lake Louise and Reid got to explain to Jillian his theory on why your ears get red when it's cold. He said it means that you either have high blood pressure or you're horny. Thankfully, they just had high blood pressure, but Jillian decided that she needed to take Reid back to the hotel to make sure that's all it was. Once they settled in at the hotel, Reid showed Jillian his neurotic side and his fear of fondue. The funny thing about Jillian is that she likes the guys with imperfections. She somehow finds all the germaphobes and foot fetishes charming. Maybe she thinks that if she finds a guy with flaws, they'll be more likely to look past hers. I think she gave him the rose, because he seemed a little more mature than the others and at the very least she's willing to go out on a limb and try to figure things out with him now that she knows that Reid is willing to take the risk. The train comes to an end at some fabulous resort in the mountains, where Chris Harrison whisks Jillian away to ponder her next decision. At the rose ceremony, Jillian still had some unanswered questions. She pulls Michael out into the hallway to make sure that he knows that she thinks 25 is too young for her and that she's not sure that he's really ready. I don't know if she did that because she didn't want him to be blindsided when she dumped him or if she was really confused about his sincerity. I think the only thing she accomplished was confusing the poor kid even more and probably herself. The first rose went to Jesse, the second to Wes, and the last to Michael. Why take perfection, when you can have a break dancer I always say?! Huh? I know Jake is a little stiff, but he's a good dude. I understand sending Tanner home, I mean finding a guy who wants to rub your feet is great, but a guy who would rather rub your feet than anything else...not so much. But Jake...she didn't even have an answer for him. Nice guys finish last...and a-holes get a rose. I have a feeling that Jake may get a few votes for the next Bachelor if he doesn't blow it next week by coming back as the ultimate tattle tale of them all. I'm sure Wes will write a song about it, if he's not too busy drinking in all his newly found fame. Last week was a rough week for Jillian, so she decided to whisk the boys off to Whistler for some fun in her favorite little Winter Wonderland. Michael, the "funny one", received the first one on one date. He didn't necessarily pack appropriately for the trip, which was obvious by his thin leather jacket, but thankfully he packed his favorite striped hoodie to keep him warm. Jillian said that he very well could have been one of the guys that she could have sent home last week, but she didn't. She thinks he's goofy and extremely funny, but needs to know if they have a romantic connection. She decided that the only possible way to find out if he was ready to commit was to dangle him upside down over a ravine and force him to take a ride on a zip line to get across. Of course, Michael is all for it. He looked somewhat like a baboon swinging through the trees of the forest. Sooo romantic. As Jillian put it, she definitely feels like she's a kid when she's with Michael. "He makes me feel like I'm 19 again and that's how I want to feel for the rest of my life....He's very much like a puppy. He doesn't hold back. If he wants to touch you....or share his feelings, he just does it." I felt like every time she said something he just repeated it loudly and added YES! YES! More like a small child than a puppy, but whatever. As Michael would say, "Am I nuts?"... or is Michael SUPER AWESOME...and mildly challenged? YES! YES! There's a reason why they gave Jillian the saber at dinner and not Michael. I don't think they felt that he was mature enough to handle a weapon of that magnitude. Jillian showed us how to gently remove the cork from the champagne with one clean stroke of her saber. I have a feeling that many viewers are now attempting to do this at home with large bread knives. They should have added a disclaimer. Who needs a cork screw when you have Cutco...right?! We also learned some valuable advice: Jillian starts in on Michael with some pretty tough questions like...Is this what you were expecting? Could you see yourself falling in love? Why did you sign up for the show? Michael decides to cut the crap for a moment and show his vulnerable side, admitting that he had a break up 8 months ago and hasn't been on a date since. He acknowledged that he has a tendency to make a fool out of himself and tells her that he's one of those "cheesy asses who falls in love if a girl kisses him on the mouth kind of guys". Jillian's not quite sure what that means or that he's ready for a "serious" relationship, but she's willing to spend some more time with him trying to figure it out. He gets a rose. I also love how ABC shows a sneak peek of what's to come before every break as if to say, "If you're bored now...just wait. There's something way more exciting coming up!" Like the group date. This week's group date gave Jillian a chance to find out what the boys are hiding. She is not letting that whole girlfriend thing go. She decides to take them all snowmobiling! Of course, Wes wants to know who's riding double. Go figure the two-timer doesn't want to double up. She chooses Robbie to hang on in the bitch seat, while she takes him for a ride and a private interrogation session. Robbie openly admitted that he got angry and emotional at the rose ceremony, because he didn't have a rose and he wanted to make sure that she knew that he did not have a girlfriend and that he was there for the right reasons. Next, she pulled Tanner aside as if to say...Come on dude. Give it up already. You started this mess. Just tell me who it is! But Tanner wasn't budging. He just told her that he wasn't there to throw anyone under the bus...just put enough doubt in her mind to make her crazy! She must have known something, because she went right to Wes after talking to Tanner. His opening line was, "What's up baby?" Come on Jillian. Please take off the blinders. But no...she just asked him sweetly, "Were you worried that they thought you were here for the wrong reasons?" Wes replied, "Everybody knows that I have a CD coming out... You know my little sister signed me up, so obviously I'm not doing this for publicity." Then he added, "I'm totally having feelings that I didn't think I was going to have....so I don't think I need to talk about this anymore." And she just caved! I can tell that we have a connection and that I'm only going to hear what I want to hear because I think you're a bad ass and soooo sweet...DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF JILLIAN!? Those two things don't go together. Her relationship with Wes is a perfect example of how stupid women get around pretty boys. He didn't even answer her questions. She totally lost my respect on that one. She reserved a cabin for the evening to finish her quest for the truth. She took some time out with Kiptyn to let him touch her butt, as if she could tell by the feel of his hands on her bum that he wasn't lying to her either. So they just made out and all was better. Reid gets grilled, but basically makes her feel like the whole thing is just silly and helps her realize that she needs to move on from this obsession with girlfriend gate. Jesse gets the second one of one date with Jillian and thank goodness he left the hat at home...it would have really screwed up his snow angels on the glacier. I don't know how sitting in the snow on top of a glacier...doing nothing...qualifies as the "best day" and "best date" of anyone's life, but they were having a great time. Maybe the lack of oxygen up there made them loopy. At least they had a chance to warm up at dinner. But Jillian's fireside chat went right back to the subject of ex-girlfriends. I think she thought she had him up until the point that he told her that he and his ex don't even speak to one another anymore. The only person he wanted to speak to was Jillian. Apparently her self-proclaimed "nails on a chalk board/drinking whisky since I was born" voice is "arousing" to Jesse. She may have found her perfect match. If you can find a guy who loves you for you and your most annoying quality...snag that sucker! Don't let him go. Ed gets a conference call from his boss and he is forced to make a choice between having a job or having a relationship with Jillian. JOB...Jillian....JOB...Jillian. Well as Jake put it, this isn't exactly the time to risk your career. The economy claims another victim as Ed has to tell Jillian that he's choosing his job over the one in ten chance she is offering him. I felt like she was a little hard on him. I don't think that he went into this knowing that his boss was going to give him an ultimatum. I'm actually glad that they finally got someone on the show with a real job and real responsibilities. That's real life. Not everyone can take months off work and fly around the world without a care. I feel bad for her that she got her heart broken...he was one of my top three picks as well...but at the end of the day, this is a television show. Of course, we all want a man who is willing to risk it all for love, but don't we really want someone who is grounded as well. It's hard to find both. It seems like every week is filled with new drama. I guess that's why Jillian decided to avoid the cocktail party all together and just get right down to the rose ceremony. She picked all the usual suspects, but when it got down to just Wes and Mark, I actually thought for one moment that she was smarter than I thought.....not so much. She pinned the last rose on Wes and sent Mark, the pizza man, packing. I don't know why a guy, who's been cheated on 4 times, thinks that going on a show with 30 guys all competing for one girl, is going to help him break down his barriers. If anything, he's going home more wounded than before. Let's all say a prayer for the next poor girl who has to navigate through that mess to find the good guy underneath. Tune in next week for something way more exciting and see who is unable to "perform" under the pressure. Lord I hope it's Wes. This week begins with a special trip to Jillian's hometown of Vancouver. She apparently doesn't want to wait until the end of the season like everyone else. She wants to see if they can handle the truth now. All thirteen guys get to see what Canada and Jillian are all about. Once arriving in Vancouver, Jillian greets the guys at some fancy hotel and tells them that this is where they will be living. It was quite a step up from the bunk house that most of them were living in back in LA. Michael was so excited that he decided to show off his striped hoodie! You're killing me dude. Chris Harrison explained that this week, there would be a one on one date, a group date, and the dreaded two on one date, where one of the guys would definitely be going home. Kiptyn wins the one on one date with Jillian. She decides to take him kayak racing on a freezing cold river, where he is forced to let her win in order to look like a gentleman, followed by a trip to the market. She decides to "cook up some love" in the kitchen...otherwise known as pasta salad. My favorite part was when Kiptyn goes for the old reach around in the kitchen. You could tell she got a little excited. Oh he's kissing my neck, how will I ever finish plating these dishes. Smooth Kiptyn...I'll give you some extra credit for that one. After dinner, they take some time to relax on the couch, while Kiptyn explains how he talked himself into coming on the show, because he needed to learn how to chase girls. He's always been the guy who takes what comes to him. This time he decided that it was time for him to put himself out there. So he decided to come on a show with 30 guys all chasing after the same girl?! That's pretty ambitious for your first go around. Maybe you could have started out in a bar with less competition. He must have a lot of confidence if he thinks he's going to prevail over the other twenty-some guys hand selected for Jillian. I guess he did something right, because he won the rose. Jillian even did a little dance after walking him out. She's definitely smitten! The next day, Jillian took the man group to enjoy one of Canada's most beloved sporting events. Hockey you ask....no...CURLING! It's like a combo of shuffle board and ice skating; only less exciting if that's possible. Basically they all fell down a bunch and looked really stupid sweeping the ice. Michael got to hug her a lot and Jesse was the only one who showed us that he knew what to do with his stones. He killed it! He hit the bullseye. I honestly have no idea what that means or why this stupid game exists. Jesse's Red Team won the curling competition and a private dinner cruise with Jillian, while the others were sent back to the hotel. They had a little toast on deck before going downstairs for dinner. I'm not sure what else they were eating. All I remember is some guy walking in with a big pan and dumping a bunch of crab all over the table...DIG IN! Jillian stole Jake away for a little private tour of the ship. They hadn't had any real alone time since their country western one on one date. Jillian tells Jake that she thinks he's absolutely perfect! Which Jake basically takes as an insult...like too perfect is a bad thing. Apparently he gets that a lot right before he gets dumped. She told him that she just wanted him to be himself...scary thing was...Jake thought he was being himself. Jesse also got some one on one time to show her that he looks good in a hat and that he's a pretty good kisser. Thank goodness he and his grandmother took those shuffle board lessons, I'm sure that's what really won him the rose. It certainly wasn't the hat. David takes his alone time to tell Jillian that he's ass man and just an ass overall. He kept going on and on about how great her butt looked in spandex. Apparently he thought that was the way to get her into the mood, because he leaned in and tried to kiss her. She gave him the cheek. David was pretty surprised. He'd "never been turned down for a kiss". He wondered why everyone else was getting some lip and not him. He totally disrespected her. He was even messing with her top and talking about her boob almost falling out. It was so awkward and wrong. I'm sure she was praying for Juan to come and steal her away this time. No such luck. The two on one date this week was with Mike and Mark. I have to say that half of the time, I don't even recognize Mark. When he's standing there in his underwear with his glasses on and a five o'clock shadow, he looks like a totally different person, but give him five minutes to change, put in some contacts, shave and comb his hair and voila...perfecto! I felt bad for Mark on the date though. Even with his cleanly shaven face and freshly ironed shirt, Mike ran all over him. Mike jumped in the middle on the helicopter, so he was the only person sitting next to Jillian. Then at dinner, he did the toast and most of the talking. Poor Mark just sat there and decided that he might prefer to buy a dog and move off to Alaska. As Mike explained, this date is like a one on one date only split in half...kind of the way he cuts Mark off mid-sentence when he speaks. Jillian explained how tough it was for her to make a decision on this date. So she takes some time out to speak to each one of them individually. Mike seemed to be saying all the right things, but I don't know that Jillian was totally buying it. He seemed really scripted. He may have been sincere, but it was hard to tell through all that thick wavy hair. I think Mark was more vulnerable. He dumped his past out on the floor. He started talking about his past relationships and getting hurt and cheated on. It was like Christmas for Jillian. She finally found her wounded soldier. Mike never stood a chance. She gave him the boot. Speaking of boots...How many pairs does Jillian have? She's got some kick ass boots on this show. I wonder if she gets to keep those. Sorry...fashion tangent. The cocktail party starts out with a little conversation alone with Reid. It was pretty obvious that he wanted to tell her something about the other guys, but he also didn't want to take away from his time with her to nark on the other dudes. So they just chatted and cuddled and asked stupid questions. Then Wes took her away to sit on the roof and tell her how much he missed her. She told him how much she loved his song, which thank God he didn't sing again, and he tried to tell her that he had genuine feelings for her, while the other guys stared out the window and started talking trash about him. When they came back inside, Tanner decided that he had to be the one to step up and tell her that there were guys in the house with girlfriends and guys who weren't there for the right reasons. However, he failed to tell her that the dude she should be afraid of was Wes! And Wes ain't talkin...the one time we need that bastard to sing...he fails to deliver. Jillian cuts the cocktail party short to go back into her little room and cry, but with Chris Harrison's help, she decides to come back out and confront them all about who the mystery man with the girlfriend is. Wes just looks around and tries to look as puzzled as everyone else. NO ONE spoke up. No one told her the truth. So Jillian was forced to make the decision without really knowing. She sent home the tragic duo of David and Juan! I think it's funny that in David's exit he was still complaining about Juan and wondering if he somehow threw him under the bus. That boy needs to go into counseling before he even thinks about trying to have a real relationship. Three down...ten to go. Tune in next week to hear Wes' new song for Jillian - Bad boys, bad boys...whatcha gonna do...whatcha gonna do when they have girlfriends too. This week's episode begins with a one on one date where Jillian attempts to kill Ben, by throwing him off of a building...well sort of. Ed and Jillian take off in a helicopter and land on a rooftop in downtown Los Angeles, where Jillian explains to Ben that the only way they can get down is to attach themselves to a rip line and slide down 20 some stories to a pool below. Ed was a little scared to say the least, but tried to be a good sport. He did however tell her while dangling thousands of feet in the air, "You better give me a rose for this!" Once on the ground and safely in the pool, Jillian gets a chance to re-enact her famous hot tub scene with Ed...the PG version, but that didn't stop the camera man from going underwater to try and catch some hanky panky going on. Apparently one roof top was not enough for this date. Jillian drags Ed back on top of a building for dinner, where Ed explains that when it comes to Karaoke, it's not about being good, it's about thinking your good. I think that applies in a lot of aspect of dating. They both tried to say that the reason they are single is because they have both focused too much time on their careers, but I think people always put focus on their careers when there is no one in their life worth making an exception for. The rest of the date went something like this, "I like your eyes...no I like your eyes. Here is a rose...I want to get to know you better...and make out with you some more." I think they make a pretty cute couple. She may not be sure whether or not he's the one, but my money is on Ed to make at least the top 3. The Wild West group date got pretty competitive. As Wes said, "11 people is a lot of people". It was crowded on set as the boys played a little game of sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths, and fifths. Brad actually kissed her like he was making out with his sister. He just stood there with his arms frozen at his sides. The guys actually pointed and laughed. It was a little embarrassing to watch. Robbie however, stole the show with his kiss of the day...kind of the old grab and twirl...but better and more romantic. He earned his rose. Wes pulled Jillian away from the other guys for a little chat to let her know that he was getting jealous and a bit grossed out that she was making out with everyone. He even told her that he was only going to kiss her on the cheek because he wanted to wait until later to give her a real kiss...you know...after you've brushed your teeth, so I don't have to taste all those other dudes. He didn't actually say that. He just made a hand motion around his face like...clean that up. I don't understand why Mike and Michael had to play a gay couple. Maybe ABC was trying to make sure that the show was appealing to all audiences, but these guys are trying to win Jillian's heart. Though they did a pretty good job recreating the scene, I don't think this helped bring either one of them closer to Jillian. The wrap party at the Hollywood loft gave the guys one last chance to take shots and sword fight over Jillian in the gang hot tub. Juan tried to defend the reasons why the guys in the house tried to vote him off the island, Robbie got a chance to re-enact his award winning kiss, which won him the rose, and Tanner P. came close to getting the foot he always wanted. Head to toe...best group date ever! Sasha received the final one on one date and it was every boy's fantasy... a private photo shoot in the auto museum and a ride around town in a Ferrari. He really opened up to her and told her about a horrible car accident he was in that almost took his life. At first, I was sure that Sasha had won Jillian's heart. I had no idea that she was about to break his. She was more concerned that he had never been heartbroken. She seems to have this theory that only someone who's been heartbroken can truly fall in love. I think she was also concerned by his unicorn comment. I don't think she thought she could live up to a mythical beast. I'd like to be Sasha's "mythical unicorn". I wouldn't have expected to hear those words from a guy nor do I know exactly what that means, but if Jillian is too afraid to take a ride...sign me up. She's crazy for letting that boy go. I think she needs to get over her insecurities. She missed out on a good one there. Jillian was pretty sad when she returned from the date, so Wes decided to cheer her up with a little song he wrote called "Being a Cheese Ball Don't Come Easy". He stood beneath her balcony like they were Romeo and Jillian and started playing his guitar. Of course she let him up to console her, but she barely got a hug in before he pulled back to break into his song...again. I swear someone needs to take that guitar away from that boy. It's charming once...but it's just annoying at this point. Tanner P's little impression of Wes playing the guitar was priceless. Not as priceless as him letting us know that he wanted to suck Jillian's toes...but priceless. He's not a break dancer, he's not a musician, he's just a normal guy who has a need for some feet. I don't think I could have kept him around, but maybe deep down Jillian likes a foot man. I'm really starting to think that David has issues. I'd kind of like to see a fight between Juan and David, but it's hard to take his threats seriously when he's wearing a mauve tie. He is such a jerk. I secretly think he has a thing for Juan and he's acting out in anger because he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions...either that or he wasn't hugged enough as a child. Either way, Jillian should have let him go. Chris Harrison steals Jillian away and drags her to the wall of crappy photos. I think it would be funny if she had to smash the frames of the guys that she was cutting or took them down one by one, stared at them for a second and said, "ummmm no" and through them over her shoulder. But no, we have to sit through another oh so dramatic rose ceremony. Jake the pilot, Reed the soft kisser, Mark...., Jesse..., Tanner P. the foot man, Wes the music maker, Juan in a million, Michael Sir Dance A Lot, Kiptyn gives me butterflies, Michael Speedo man, and David anger management all get roses. Brad did not. Let's face it, he's a nice guy, but clearly the least attractive man in the house and a bad kisser. I think he could have hung on if he'd had a great personality or amazing charm, but vanilla just doesn't cut it. He's planning to be a drifter, like the one he played on set, because he doesn't feel like anyone will ever get him...maybe he should find his sister or a second cousin. And finally Tanner F. had to go... because there can only be one....TANNER! Sorry...that's a Highlander reference for those of you who are unfamiliar. Tune in next week to see another outburst from David and another rendition of Wes' crappy song. Can't wait! All I want to know is why Jillian kept Foot Fetish?! She even admitted that she knew, Tanner P's obsession with feet went too far and yet she kept him anyway. I say the minute you start to see the creepy side, cut your losses and run. You don't want to wake up one morning to find some dude at the foot of your bed painting your toe nails. "Sorry honey. I saw a chip and thought I would help you out with a touch up on the polish". Creepy! That's all I'm saying. This week the boys were sent on a bit of a scavenger hunt to find Jillian. Forced to pair off into their mini cooper's (wonder how much they paid for that product placement), the boys frantically ran around the city looking for clues to where their beloved Jillian could be. The dynamic duo of Wes and Brad were the first to arrive at the bank to find out that only one of them would get to share a romantic dinner with Jillian in the vault. Unfortunately for Brad, who declared himself the brains of the organization...or only brain, Jillian selected Wes to join her and left poor Brad out in the cold. All that work for nothing! I think I actually fell asleep for a while during Wes and Jillian's date in the vault. I know he's cute and all, but he talks so slow...and not in a sexy way. Maybe if he was saying something more interested...like anything about something other than himself and his "music", it would be different, but I would have asked someone to let me out of there. Jake, the hot pilot, got to kick up his boots on his one on one date with Jillian. When she picked him up in her black cocktail dress and knee high red leather cowboy boots, I wasn't quite sure what to think. But I forgot about Jillian completely the minute they stepped into the dressing room and Jake started trying on western wear. I've never really had a thing for cowboys, but when he took off his shirt, I think I let out a little Yeeeehaaa! That boy is fine and he can dance! I think he even showed Jillian a thing or two on the dance floor. They even got their own intimate concert with Martina McBride. I think Jake got a little more than a rose out of that date. The final group date was interesting. Basically, Jillian took the boys out to a basketball court in Venice Beach to get schooled by the Harlem Globetrotters. You could see the competitiveness starting to boil up in all the guys....especially David. For a guy who got so choked up, he couldn't even speak on the first episode, he sure has a lot to say now and it's usually all about Juan. I have issues with guys who get that worked up this early in the show. They usually turn out to have anger management issues. I'm pretty sure that even if she does wind up cutting Juan, he'll find someone else to hate. Mike showed us his adventurous side...otherwise known as his Speedo side, when he decided that the best way to impress Jillian, was to put it all there and run into the Pacific Ocean. I guess she liked what she saw, even after the cold water, because she kept him around. Brian on the other hand was not so lucky. He jumped in the pool naked and admitted that he might have been hung like a light switch. It just may have been the final factor in Jillian's decision to send him home. She also ditched Mathue, who seemed like a sweet little county boy...not very smart...but sweet. He teared up a little at the end. I kind of felt bad for him. I don't think he ever really had a chance. The English soccer coach Simon also went home without a rose. He was so bad on the basketball court, I have a hard time believing that he is athletic enough to be a coach of any sport. And finally...there was Julien. I don't really know why Jillian decided to let him go. He didn't even get a date this week. Maybe she just thought it would be lame to date a guy with almost the same name. Maybe she was hoping that he might hire her some day to decorate one of his restaurants and she doesn't like to mix business with pleasure or maybe she prefers guys who have a foot fetish over those who drive Lamborghini's. Who knows!? Let's just hope she makes better decisions next week, because I don't want to see Tanner rubbing her feet again and I don't know how many times I can stand to listen to Wes sing that stupid song. Jillian no longer cares what her guy puts on his hotdog, as long as he knows how to use it! She's looking for a guy that knows how to have a good time and knows what he wants. And this season, she'll have more guys to choose from than ever before...the dirty 30 as I like to call them. The show begins with the usual recap of heart-broken Jillian crying in the limo with her bra showing, followed by a montage of what Jillian has been up to since the show ended (ie. trying on shoes, pretending to be a jogger, watering her flowers, walking in the park looking like she's lost in thought). The only thing she's really been doing since the show ended is preparing for her own show. Not that I blame her. I'd be working out like a mad woman too if I was about to move into a "MAN"sion-o-men. I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous, and I think she got a pretty good crop of hot men to choose from. The first man out of the limo was Kiptyn. Now we already got a preview of what Kiptyn had to offer and it's pretty obvious that he spends most of his free time working on his abs. In fact, I'm not sure why he bothered wearing a suit at all. If you want the first impression rose, you should show the goods babe. But Jillian was "super pumped" to meet him anyway. The first limo also gave us our first look at Brian, who became famous for phrases like "hot tub Harris" and "sassy minx", as well as Jake -the hot pilot, Bryan, who swept her off her feet....literally, and John, who over did it with the polished hick conversation and shares with us that the white dress was a little intimidating for him. I smell a fear of commitment coming from that one. Limo two introduces us to some interesting characters as well. First, there was Dave, who was at a loss for words when meeting Jillian. He also looked a little bit like "The Rock" only whiter and less manly. Then there was Tanner from Denver, who told us that he couldn't wait to get her into a rocking chair...or something like that. Michael "THE DANCER" made his move, followed by Robby the "bartender by trade" who has a special drink for all the VIP people in his life. I have a feeling most of his dates have a headache the next morning. AND finally John, the I'm super drunk and super excited to hug you guy. Rounding out the first 15 was Sasha, who was very cute and seemed pretty normal. He didn't try anything corny or rehearsed. He was just himself and charming. I can't quite say the same for Brad, who brushed his shoulders off when exiting the limo and showed her the label inside his jacket and referred to that as his "best side". Mathue (with a u) had her sign his hat and talked about all his favorite country singers. Simon, from England, brought her some tea bags...OK! Whatever... and last, but not least, there was Jesse, who said he only agreed to do the show because she was going to be The Bachelorette. Could be a future stalker. We'll have to see. Chris Harrison took a quick break to ask Jillian what she thought so far. She gushed as she admitted that they were way hotter than she expected and was afraid that it might be harder for her to choose. At this point, I wish I had initiated a drinking game where everyone had to start taking shots every time someone used the word "awesome". It would have made the show much more interesting. The final ten proved to be equally as fascinating. Julien, the restauranteur, seemed much more charming in person, than he did in the preview, where he was driving around in his lambo. They might actually be a good match. He could buy the restaurants and she could decorate them. He's also TALL. Gotta love tall men. Next was Wes, from Austin! Too bad he's only on the show trying to get a record deal...or so it seems. Kyle chose to wear a retro 80's leather jacket and got lost walking around the fountain...WINNER! There was also some guy named Adam, that's not worth mentioning, because she never speaks to him and he gets cut anyway and the attorney Stephen, who lacked looks, charm, and a sense of humor. FINALLY, the last limo arrives so that Juan can grace us with his presence. He's a momma's boy and general contractor, originally from Argentina. He lived there when he was two, I hardly think that counts, but he demonstrated that he picked up some Spanish while he was there. Then David Cook gets out of the limo, otherwise known as Caleb. He shakes her hand, gives her a hug and basically walks off and tells her he'll see her inside. I guess he wanted to see if there was anyone hotter in there before he committed to her. Oh wait...she's the only girl on the show. No wonder he didn't look too surprised when he got cut. Then she gets to meet Josh, the 25 year old life guard...enough said...and Greg, the exotic dancer, who likes to "hug it out". Jillian actually gave him a handshake, which was probably to prevent getting body oil on her dress. The final guy was Pizza Man Mark, who wanted to know what she liked on her pizza. Can we stop with the toppings already?! It's making me hungry. Jillian takes a moment to catch her breath before heading into the man den. Jake was the first to pull her away for some one on one time to see if she could be his "co-pilot". He seemed really obsessed with aviation. He also happened to mention that he was the only person in his family who was not a doctor...he could have just said that he came from money and decided to take up his hobby as a career. Jesse interrupted their little mini date to let Jillian know that he was a wine maker....maker of "love juice" as he called it. But I think he really won her over with the "Aspiring Canadian" t-shirt. That was obviously a pre-meditated wardrobe selection. It was basically a whirlwind after that, one guy after another going on and on about how stupid Jason was to let her go and how they were looking for their best friend too....blah...blah...blah. The funniest part about the mingler was the subtitles for the English guy. He's English! It's English! Why are there subtitles? He's not that hard to understand. I had a harder time understanding the dance off between Michael and Greg. I was kind of impressed that they were able to do all that in their dress shirts and pants, but at the same time...it was like a bad rendition of "So You Think You Can Dance" and "Beat Street". I think Michael was the winner of dance dance revolution. As if the guys weren't under enough pressure, Chris Harrison decides to mix things up a bit. He gathers everyone together and introduces FIVE new guys! Bringing the total to 30. I think I heard one of the guys ask, "Can we physically fight them?" Most of the new guys seemed pretty cool, but Tanner 2, stole the show with his foot fetish. Maybe it's just me, but I don't know many women in their 20's and 30's with really jacked up feet. It seemed a little strange to me that looking at her feet was so important. How many women has he dated with talons? Was he on the "Cougar" before trying out for The Bachelorette? I was pretty sure I knew who she was going to pick for the first impression rose, but when she gave it to Dave, I was at a loss for words. I don't know if she felt sorry for him or she secretly has a thing for trucking contractors, but I didn't see that one coming. In fact I was shocked by several of her picks. Like Brian, who was the biggest cheese ball of the group, sensitive Brad who just did nothing for me, and both Tanners! How can you have two Tanners? She had to cut 10. As I mentioned before, she got rid of Caleb and Adam. She also cut Stephen, Kyle, both John's, Josh the lifeguard, Bryce who was one of the new guys who didn't really have a chance, Greg who is probably going back to work for Chippendales, and Bryan who apparently didn't sweep her off her feet after all. It was actually tough watching them say their goodbye's. There was a lot of awkward hugging and "Hey dude, that sucks" looks going back and forth, but no one's exit was more poetic than Stephen, who left us with this to ponder... "Maybe she just doesn't like awesome guys". Yeah Stephen...I'm sure that's it. Tune in next week for the TOP TWENTY countdown. It looks like these guys are going to be fighting over more than just Jillian's heart...they're going to be physically fighting one another.
If you didn't get enough of the lovely Jillian on last season's THE BACHELOR, don't worry...she's baaaaaack...on the new season of THE BACHELORETTE. The promos don't give us any real insight into the show other than the fact that they found a guy with a foot fetish. So I had to go online to check out the line up and it looks like Miss Jillian will have 30 men to choose from, not the usual 25. I would like to start by making some initial observations and award announcements: Best Use of Hair Product in a Headshot Award goes to - MIKE 28 Baseball Camp Owner. Pretty sure he's not ready to grow up. Most Likely to win a David Cook Look Alike Contest - Caleb 27 Photographer. Best I Can't Believe They Picked Me to Be on this Show Face - Kyle 26 Graphic Designer And Last But Not Least.... THE THREE NO NO NOOOS! Otherwise known as my three top picks to be kicked off in the first episode. Tune in Monday, May 25th to see if Jillian can show Jason how to make a decision and stick to it. I debated on whether to even post a blog in response to ABC's After the Final Rose - Part Two Special, but then I decided that there were a couple of things that I would like to say. First of all, if you missed the show, just mix 10 minutes of the Women Tell All Special from last week and 10 minutes of the After the Final Rose Special from Monday night, add a little more crying, with a dash of Jillian and stir. That was it. It was pretty much an hour of my life that I will never get back. Even my dog was bored. Secondly, the only reason I watched the show was because the buzz was that Jason might actually propose to Molly on the show, which DID NOT happen. They did announce however that they have spent several weekends together over the last six weeks and Molly is now excited to be moving to Seattle to start their life together. Gag! And last but not least, ABC announced that Jillian is the "new" Bachelorette, which most people expected, after Chris Harrison's comment during the Women Tell All Special. I have to say that I like Jillian, but why do we always have to have a reject play the part of the Bachelorette? Aren't there any attractive, single, successful women left in the US to play this part? Why do we search high and low for men to play the Bachelor, but we take the leftovers for the Bachelorette? Now to be fair, Jason was a leftover too, but I know a hundred women who would sign up to take their pick from 25 eligible single men looking for a relationship. I know some men too! I can just picture the first episode now...25 single men standing around in the same old mansion trying to choose a condiment for their hotdog, knowing that ketchup could send them home at any minute. There will be jumping on beds and chicken fights in the pool...but no more hot tubbing. Jillian's dad has seen enough of that...so have the rest of us! I hope they make it exciting. Maybe they can bring on a bunch of Jillian's old boyfriend's to give the guys advise. I just hope she doesn't get dumped...A-GAIN. Tune in May 18th for the premiere of The Bachelorette - The Canadian Edition!
What the?! Seriously...what the@#?! I know that there was speculation, but I don't think that I really believed that it could be true. Brad Womack must be jumping around his house in his underwear screaming, "YES! YES! Jason's a bigger jerk than me!" Well, maybe not in his underwear, but I do enjoy picturing him that way...okay focus...Jason Messnick proves that it's never too late to prove that people always want what they can't have and that deep down he's just as screwed up as all the women he's criticized. Unless of course he's trying to make us believe that it's okay for him to propose to Melissa and then walk away without a fight, but it wasn't okay for DeAnna to let him get down on one knee. At least she didn't let him propose. At least she let him go right then and told him she was in love with someone else. She didn't drag him along for months on some ridiculous love roller coaster that dumped him on his butt at the end. No, that's what he did to Melissa, because he's such a "stand up guy" who just has to follow his heart. Is it really your heart you're following Jason? Maybe you weren't following your heart. Maybe you were following something else and that's what made you choose Melissa. Jason said that when he let Molly go, it was like he "lost a piece of himself". Well when Jason announced on the after show that he no longer wanted to be with Melissa and was instead in love with Molly, I lost a piece of myself too. It was actually my lunch. Well it was probably my dinner. I lost my lunch when DeAnna showed up for the most anti-climatic bachelor moment ever. I don't understand why it was so important to fly DeAnna halfway across the world to mess with the guy's head, but I was a little pleased to hear DeAnna refer to herself as "very very stupid". Of course she was referring to anyone who would give Jason up, but she probably doesn't feel that way anymore. It's nice to know that she has grown from her experience and has been able to stretch her 15 minutes of fame just a wee bit further. I don't have children, but I don't think that the standard greeting for a child is to tackle them and roll around on the ground every time you see them. I know that it had been a while since they had seen each other, but I'm beginning to think Jason enjoys having a signature move for everyone in his life. Greeting for children - tackle and roll on the ground. Greeting for women - grab and twirl. Greeting for Chris Harrison - shake hands, cry and act confused. I think he proposed to Melissa because she looked the most like DeAnna and he wanted to know what it would feel like to dump her. Jason described Molly as oxygen...without her he couldn't breathe. You don't dump oxygen Jason. It just doesn't make any sense. No wonder Molly was confused. We all were. Jason starts the show by introducing both girls to his family and his son Ty. Melissa gets to play golf and pet a sheep....and who knew Melissa had all the jokes? Knock Knock...Who's There?.....Baaaaaaastard! I find it interesting that Jason's family spent so much time trying to make sure that Melissa wouldn't hurt their precious Jason and he's the one that wound up doing all the damage. I'm kind of over the whole Jason deserves happiness thing. Doesn't everyone deserve happiness? Doesn't Melissa? Doesn't Molly? Molly's date was a little rougher than Melissa's. Ty didn't warm up to her immediately, not until she taught him how to throw Frisbees, fly kites, and pick up shells on the beach. He even gave her a ring made of sea shells. That's almost as good as a diamond right? Instead of going to pick out the engagement ring in a store like they normally do, some chic from a local pawn shop stops by with a suitcase and lets Jason pick out a ring like you'd select a watch out from under some guy's coat on a street corner in New York. I'm exaggerating of course, but it did seem a little strange to me that almost the entire show was shot at the rental house in New Zealand. I guess they couldn't get permits to shoot anywhere else. I hated to see Molly step out of the limo first and walk down that treacherous path in high heals. I just knew someone was going to take a nose dive in the gravel, but no such luck. I was proud of Molly for telling Jason that she felt like he was making a mistake. She really seemed to be more concerned about him getting hurt again than she was about herself. I especially loved his dramatic little speech to her as he put her in the limo, "Everything was real. I started falling in love with you very early on. Always know that"...now get in the car. It's so retarded....and why can't that limo driver stock the car with Kleenex? Do they think it's funny to make those poor girls wipe their tears with their hands? Poor thing must have gotten mascara all over her dress. Jason said that Melissa was one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen in his life and he felt like she really truly needed him. I think that's why he really picked her. Every guy wants to feel needed...and it doesn't hurt if the girl is really good looking. I think he felt safe with Melissa, but I think Molly needed him too. Maybe not for the same reasons Melissa did, but that doesn't mean that her needs were less important. He kept talking about Molly's career like it would get in the way of their family. Last time I checked, being with a woman who has a stable job is a good thing, especially in this economy. I would think that would be the best thing any family could ask for. I wish they hadn't run the after the final rose special immediately after the finale. The show ended with such a sweet moment between Melissa and Jason, you didn't even get to enjoy that warm fuzzy feeling, before ABC brought Jason back out on the couch to shatter the dream. Jason announced that since "this thing" ended, things have been different and that he and Melissa were not right for each other. "The chemistry has been completely different...The love and the passion just isn't there...and over the past few weeks, all I can think about is Molly". Seriously?! After all that, you're going to drag poor Melissa out on stage and end your relationship on national television. Couldn't you just pretend for a couple weeks and then let the tabloids get wind of the break up a few months later like everyone else? Awesome Jason! Truly awesome! You're a real piece of work. It's never too late to send the girl home crying in the limo. God knows we've never seen that before. Poor Melissa was so shocked she started speaking in 3rd person. I actually saw more emotion out of Chris Harrison during the break up than Jason. For the first time, Jason wasn't emotional. He was almost cold the way he delivered the news to Melissa. He didn't even seem upset until she walked out. "I hate myself for what I'm doing to Melissa"...well guess what...she hates you too! As she put it, "You should know better than to do something like this. Don't call me. Don't talk to me anymore. Leave me alone. Please." Sorry Melissa...your shot at love has definitely ended. I still don't know why they didn't do the whole thing Jerry Springer style. I think they should have sat them all down on the couch with Jason in the middle and let them duke it out. I don't think Molly would have been so eager to give Jason another shot had she seen how poorly he handled the break up with Melissa. But no, they kept her in the dark the entire time, so when she came out it was like a dream come true. A very badly scripted and confusing dream...but a dream! She just sat there and stared back and forth between Chris and Jason like "Is this for real? Am I being punked? I mean he did say I was the best kisser...could this be true?" Yes, Molly! You are the runner up in the Miss America Pageant that wins because the original Miss America posed nude for Playboy and had to give up her crown. Melissa did not fulfill all of Jason's expectations, so now she's being forced to give back her ring and turn Jason over to the second runner up to fulfill her duties. For Molly's sake, I hope it works out, but as far as Jason is concerned, he can go fly a kite. Tune in tomorrow for the After the After the Final Rose Special. As Chris Harrison likes to say, "for everyone that's been a part of this one"... and those who wish they weren't..."goodnight"! |
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