Taylor: July 2009 Archives

If one plans to undertake a life of crime, it's best not to make a spectacle of oneself.

It's probably also best not to get the state of Florida tattooed on one's face.

There are several reasons for this. A) It might make one an easy target. B) The state of Florida is ... um ... funny looking.

But Sean "Florida Face" Roberts clearly wasn't thinking of that sage advice when he got inked up and allegedly busted into a trailer a few weeks ago outside of Tampa, Tampa Bay Online r...

>> Continue reading: Burglary suspect identified by tattoo of Florida ... ON HIS FACE

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I hereby nominate this man to the Weird World Hall of Fame: Smartypants Division.

When police found Sando "Birthday Suit" Hamilton walking around stark naked Nebraska's Wilderness Park, he told them he'd been robbed.

According to the Lincoln Journal Star, Hamilton told the cops a dude with a gun came up to rob him, but when he had no money, the thief ran off with his clothes.

... Indeed.

But it turns out - shocker alert - that was a leeeetle bit of a fib.

You see, it may ...

>> Continue reading: Random naked guy says thief stole his clothes; cops don't buy it

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If I was going to rob a bank, I would probably make some kind of a checklist ...

Procure an awesome disguise (preferably a Big Bird suit or a cloak of invisibility) ... check. Make my way to a bank and rob it ... check. Make my getaway without accepting a ride from an officer of the law... check. Purchase shoes ... check.

See? Piece of cake.

But - tragically for accused bank robber Mark White - my checklist wasn't prepared in time for his alleged heist.

>> Continue reading: How not to rob a bank

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You never really know what your cat is thinking.

That sleepy, stupid stare could mean anything ... "I'm hungry," "I'm angry," "I just hid your socks again," "I might try to kill you while you sleep," "I know how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop" ....

Take Jackie Ellery's cat, Tango, for example.

The morning that Tango disappeared, he probably shot her a look that said, "Today, I plan to eat, sleep, poop, sleep, chase my tail, sleep and eat some more."

But what that look really meant was, "Today, I'm going to be a star."

>> Continue reading: Lost cat wanders on to TV show set. I can haz famous?

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