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March 2009
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Taylor: June 2008 ArchivesWhat's in a name? Apparently, a heaping helping of crazy ... at least for one New Mexico man. A New Mexico appeals court on Friday ruled against the man after he petitioned to change his name to "**** Censorship!" ...Yeah. In what might be the understatement of the century, the judge said the requested change was "obscene, offensive and would not comport with common decency," the Associated Press reports. But it gets better -- apparently it wasn't this guy's first foray into the realm of comical name changes. His current legal name is "Variable." ...Forget car accidents, nuclear weapons and falling pianos -- the new hotness in danger is probably lurking in your bed right now. In fact, there may be many of them. What I'm talking about, America, is perhaps the single most menacing threat to your general well-being since the fried Twinkie ... I am talking about the pillow. Pillows are dangerous and should be destroyed immediately before they lay waste to you and everything you hold dear. EVERYBODY PANIC!
You might love the night life and like to boogie, but it's best saved for the disco 'round ... rather than the living room of a stranger. Sadly, some bearded fat guy in California did not get the memo. Police in Newport Beach say they're searching for an overweight, unshaven man in his 30s who's been sneaking into unlocked homes and dancing for the residents, the Orange County Register reports.
Everyone knows you can't teach an old dog new tricks. But here's a new one, made especially for one Victor Rodriguez of Bridgeport, Connecticut : You can't teach a pet snake any tricks at all, no matter how old it is. Idiot.
Ahhhh, the great American road trip. You know, just you, the great outdoors, the open road and your buddy with the diaper full of heroin. Wait a sec ... scratch that last part, unless, of course, you're friends with Frank Keys, Jr.
Greetings, readers. Today's entry comes directly from the Dept. of The-Butt-of-One's-Own-Joke. A 21-year-old Dutch man and his buddies thought running down the street with their bottoms exposed would be funny. But fate thought it would be funnier if one of them fell through a restaurant window along the way, posterior-first, The Associated Press reports. Taa-daa! What? You're a vegan? That's SO ten minutes ago. If you really wanted to make a statement, you'd get your dinner out of the Dumpster. Mmmmm ... garbage grub. It may sound gross, but it's no joke. An ever-increasing group of folks with iron stomachs and some heavy-duty nose plugs are spending their time sifting usable goods from your trash, The Kansas City Star reports. They call themselves "freegans." |
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