 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
October 2009
Categories
More KHOU Blogs
|
Recently by TaylorIn the world of odd-news blogging, one comes across many extraordinary feats of stupidity - a fact that's led this blogger to believe there are more hapless, half-witted doofs out there than one can shake a stick at. This is especially true for drunks who are busted driving things that aren't cars. There was the guy accused of driving a riding lawn mower through a fast-food drive-thru after a few too many, and the guy who got a DWI for riding a horse, and who could forget t... If you happen to be a pudgy naked guy with a penchant for boogying in the buff, Dallas police would like a word with you. Apparently, some weirdo has been bursting into random people's backyards in his birthday suit and either dancing or -- if there's a pool - skinny-dipping before running away. According to The Dallas Morning News, police believe he may have been doing it since 2005. Ummm ... That's one way to meet your neighbors. If you're ever late for work because you were caught in a traffic jam of circus animals, you're probably better off lying about it. There's no way your boss is gonna buy that bull-oney sandwich. Granted, it might seem like an unlikely predicament, but it happened in Dublin. For real. SWEET FREEWAY FREEDOM! >> Continue reading: Wayward circus animals cause traffic jam
OK, I get it. Everyone is different. Some people like blondes. Some people like freckles. Some people even like feet. (Oh the HORROR!) But I've never - and I mean NEVER - heard of a guy who was into sneezes. ... So into them, in fact, that he was willing to go to the big house for his fetish. But apparently there is such a man, and he lives in ... wait for it ... Texas. (Hooray for us!) According to The Greenville Herald-Banner, an elderly (yep) man is facing aggravated assault charges for allegedly blo...
There are certain practical rules that one should keep in mind when bestowing a moniker upon one's offspring - first and foremost, the playground whooping noogie factor. But in Australia, there's actually a registry of acceptable names that parents can choose from. You know, because there's probably nothing more pressing for the government to do there. For the most part, it's not rocket science. Right: John Smith Wrong: Kick Me Smith But some of the officially acceptable and strictly forbidden names are ... well ... really, really weird. >> Continue reading: Registry says you can name your kid Metallica, but not Post Master General. Darn.
You know all those doofy people who are always checking their Facebook accounts every 27 seconds and posting annoying status messages detailing the minutia of their breathtakingly boring lives? Do you ever wonder what they DO with their time when they're not posting and poking? According to The Journal in Martinsburg, W.Va., police were led to a sticky-fingered suspect after he checked his Facebook at the crime scene - and didn't log off. (Now that's a way ... Up until about five minutes ago, I couldn't think of too many things about being the Queen of England that I wouldn't like ... what with the jewelry and the money and the castles and the smartypants accent. But, thanks to a report by The Associated Press, my royal aspirations have been dashed. You see, I would sooner hang-glide the length of Galveston Island naked than allow my gigantic, embarrassing underwear to be put on display in a museum. Such is the fate of Queen Victoria.
It was a pretty sweet day at work for cops in Huntsville on Sunday, but that's not necessarily a good thing. You see, these lawmen were working to solve a confection caper of sorts. The Huntsville Item reports that someone - I'm looking at YOU, random pack of sticky-fingered hyperactive kindergarteners - ran off with two tons of powdered sugar from a local donut shop. D'oh! Police said when the owners of Donut Wheel rolled up to their workplace that morning, they were greeted by piles and trails of powdered s...
Ummm... you might want to reconsider if there are children present. A man in New Zealand swears up and down that his cat can talk, but two of the seven words he knows could get you slapped by yo mama. >> Continue reading: Chatty kitty cusses up a storm ... #@$%!
It's sad when your favorite childhood TV characters turn to a life of crime. Sigh. But Cookie isn't perpetrating hold-ups on Sesame Street - he's hitting up banks in the heartland. You know what they say about New York: Once you've made it there, you move to somewhere where you can have your own car. At least, that's what I say about New York. The defining moment of my personal experience with public transportation in NYC was when I slipped in a pool of barf on an empty subway car. (Moral of the story: Empty cars are empty for a reason.) That was pretty bad, but I'd take barf over a naked stranger any day. Apparently commuters in the Big Apple were recently treated to an impromptu pole dance by a lady in the buff on a crowded subway train, >> Continue reading: Random lady strips, pole dances on subway Ahhh, weddings. Just you, your beloved, your family and friends, a horde of police, some bloody noses, a stockpile of ammunition and a domestic battery charge. Twooooooo Wub. The honeymoon was over before it even began for a pair of lovebirds at their Illinois wedding last weekend. According to The Chicago Sun-Times, Sean Kelly walked down the aisle with his roommate's sister (sounds dirty, but it isn't) on July 26. But no one could have guessed what would be on the menu at the reception: knuckle sandwiches. (Ba dum dum. Thank you!) It seems that once the party got sta...
If one plans to undertake a life of crime, it's best not to make a spectacle of oneself. It's probably also best not to get the state of Florida tattooed on one's face. There are several reasons for this. A) It might make one an easy target. B) The state of Florida is ... um ... funny looking. But Sean "Florida Face" Roberts clearly wasn't thinking of that sage advice when he got inked up and allegedly busted into a trailer a few weeks ago outside of Tampa, Tampa Bay Online r...
I hereby nominate this man to the Weird World Hall of Fame: Smartypants Division. When police found Sando "Birthday Suit" Hamilton walking around stark naked Nebraska's Wilderness Park, he told them he'd been robbed. According to the Lincoln Journal Star, Hamilton told the cops a dude with a gun came up to rob him, but when he had no money, the thief ran off with his clothes. ... Indeed. But it turns out - shocker alert - that was a leeeetle bit of a fib. You see, it may ...
Procure an awesome disguise (preferably a Big Bird suit or a cloak of invisibility) ... check. Make my way to a bank and rob it ... check. Make my getaway without accepting a ride from an officer of the law... check. Purchase shoes ... check. See? Piece of cake. But - tragically for accused bank robber Mark White - my checklist wasn't prepared in time for his alleged heist. ...You never really know what your cat is thinking. That sleepy, stupid stare could mean anything ... "I'm hungry," "I'm angry," "I just hid your socks again," "I might try to kill you while you sleep," "I know how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop" .... Take Jackie Ellery's cat, Tango, for example. The morning that Tango disappeared, he probably shot her a look that said, "Today, I plan to eat, sleep, poop, sleep, chase my tail, sleep and eat some more." But what that look really meant was, "Today, I'm going to be a star." >> Continue reading: Lost cat wanders on to TV show set. I can haz famous?
You know you're having a bad day when you can't find your drawers. You know you're having a really bad day when you get your head stuck in a clothes dryer while you're looking for said undies. But if you end up trapped, bare-bottomed with the dryer on your head and a crowd of friends, police officers and paramedics gathers to point and laugh ... well ... you're starring in a bad day trifecta the likes of which normally exists only in my fondest dreams. It's finally summer, folks! You know what that means? Cockroaches the size of small children? Yes! Car seats so hot they burn your behind? You bet! But - perhaps most importantly - it's time for the oft-dreaded family vacation. You know, where you pack your screaming children in a tiny car with about 6,000 pieces of luggage and a grandparent of some variety and take off on an adventure, putting the "fun" in dysfunctional. Happy times! But aside from your vile, bratty, ridiculously filthy siblings who WON'T STOP TOUCHING AND/OR LOOKING AT YOU, most family vacatio... Being an American grants a person a certain number of liberties. You have the right to free speech, freedom of religion, the right to a fair trial and the right to sit on your behind all day long in your jammies eating Cheez Whiz and watching "Cops" if you feel like it, dang it. (Best. Country. Ever.) But a couple in Colorado believe they have to right to garden in thongs and pasties, and - shocker--that's not sitting well with their neighbors.
While women remain divided on the facial hair issue, I think we can all agree on at least one thing: A man with a beard in the shape of a snowshoe is exactly the kind of man you bring home to mama. (P.S. In my house, "bring home to mama" is code for "run from in the street.") Ladies, meet David Traver. The Associated Press reports that Traver, who lives in Anchorage, won the freestyle category in the World Beard and Moustache Championships by fashioning his face mop into a snowshoe. A snowshoe. Made of beard. Let us pause for a moment to soak that in. ... Whenever you metaphorically (or physically) faceplant into one of life's inevitable failures, people (once they are done pointing and laughing) always say things like "You can't win 'em all" or "Win some, lose some" or "Better luck next time" or "You have the right to remain silent." But if you had a Three Wolf Moon T-shirt, you would never have to hear those things again. You see, it isn't just any old shirt. This shirt is a legend on the Interwebs.
|
|
|
Houston RSVP
Email your event to Houston RSVP (Attendance is based on the availability of the team.) 
|
|
