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July 2009
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More KHOU Blogs
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Recently by Michelle HomerYou know, it's just like your dad always told you ... When you're having a bad day on the green, just burn that sucker down. It's really too bad your dad was an arsonist. You should've listened to someone else's dad. Same goes for this guy -- A golfer in Reno's day went from bad to burn when his attempt to get out of the rough sparked a grass fire that burned 20 acres of land, officials told the Associated Press.
When Lynn Alexander first saw the stoney profile of The King among his wife's collection of river rocks, he was understandably all shook up. After all, he hadn't seen Elvis Presley since 1974 when he performed at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, Rocky Mountain News reports. And since everyone's favorite peanut butter and banana sandwich-scarfing rock icon kicked the bucket back in 1977, Alexander, like many, just assumed he'd never see him again. Then his wife dusted off the old pile of stones.
If you're itchin' to bare your bottom, you'd better steer clear of Delcambre, La. You see, Mayor Carol Broussard is cruisin' to bruise bottoms left bare by baggy britches. Broussard said he would sign an ordinance that bans residents from being caught in pants that show their underwear or certain body parts, the Associated Press reports.
There's a serious problem in China. A problem so dire that authorities are considering a drastic move to alleviate it. A problem so pervasive that millions upon millions are affected every day. You see, there are 93 million Wangs in China ... And that's more Wangs than they know what to do with.
Hit the road, Romeo! I've got a date with Snickers! (Read: The women who prefer chocolate over sex and the men who hate them). Sorry, English dudes. A recent study shows that more than half of British women would rather chow down on chocolate than get busy in the boudoir. And why? They say chocolate can always be depended upon to give pleasure. Ouch. Sitting down for a bean and broccoli dinner? Better be wearing your poot pants. If you or someone you love is in serious need of a silencer, Brian Conant just might be your new hero. About eight years ago when he was training as a National Guardsman in Hawaii, Conant stumbled upon a rather miraculous realization: when he was wearing his charcoal-lined chemical warfare suit, no one could tell when he passed gas, The Orlando Sentinel reports.
Welcome to your fabulous new beachfront property, you bag of bones, you! Is real estate a good investment if you're dead by the time you get to see it? The folks at Lo'ihi Development Co. are inviting you to take a dirt nap and see for yourself. The company plants to start offering oceanview lots that buyers won't actually be able to stand on for 10,000 years, the Associated Press reports.
The first rule of nerd fight club is: You do not talk about nerd fight club. The second rule of nerd fight club is: Seriously, don't say anything or you'll probably get a wedgie at the water cooler. Picture this: Grown men, sweating it out, dueling for honor, heartily engaged in unbridled hand-to-hand combat in a riveting display of human athleticism and valor. Now picture this: A couple of pasty IT guys wearing padded helmets, beating each other with Nerf bats until one of them gets a nosebleed and has to call his mom. Yeah. Nerd fight club is more like that second one. <...
Found that special someone? Need to celebrate your union with a giant, fancy, sugar-coated expression of your undying love? Ask your doctor if a five-tier, orange chiffon fondant cake is right for you. (Warning: May cause embarrassment, mental anguish, serious anxiety, humiliation and sleepless nights. If you experience any of these symptoms and happen to live in the Philippines, then you must be Edgardo or Stephanie Abenina.)
If "some guys" have all the luck, then Jeanne Rogers is definitely not "some guys." Never mind she's not a dude. This lady's seen it all ... and lived to tell about it. Rogers has been shot at, mugged, was nearly strangled, has fallen into a manhole and off a cruise ship, had a bat trapped in her hair and has been struck by lightning -- twice, The Bangor Daily News reports. And perhaps the most horrifying of all ... She inadvertently helped Mister Rogers get naked, and we're not talking about her husband. We're talking the sweater-sporting, train-having, won't-you-be-my-neighbor M... It's Squirrels Gone Wild: Elementary School Edition, and things are gonna get hairy. A sinister critter went postal on a group of first graders in San Francisco as they prepared to go on a field trip, The San Francisco Chronicle reports.
There's nothing more touching than watching the exchange of TiVows. Do you take this digital recording device to be your lawfully wedded digital recording device, forsaking all others, till death do you part?
I do. Really? Yep. Ooooookay. ...You know, buying a new house is a pain, because the people there before you are always leaving stuff behind ... boxes in the attic, pool equipment, discarded window treatments, their very own corpse ... According to police, a lucky homebuyer in Spain got a little more than he bargained for when he first walked through the steps of his new abode: the mummified body of the lady who used to live there, taking a dirt nap on the living room couch. Welcome home!
Do you think they'd like some cheese with that whine? Oh, why even ask -- they're French! According to a recent study, French workers are the world's biggest whiners, the AFP reports. Well, me pleurez une riviere.
In case you needed another reason not to become a nudist, hear this: The naked folks aren't getting any younger. In fact, the aging ranks of the bare-bottomed have become such a problem that nudist groups are actually going out of their way to recruit a new generation of free spirits willing to let it all hang out, the Associated Press reports.
Oh, the humanity! Malaysian customs officials are set to commit the ultimate party foul: dumping 196,000 cans of beer down the drain, News.com.au reports.
What manner of madman would do such a thing, you ask? Your guess is as good as mine. ...It's just like the wise man said: He who smears his house with the poop of predators normally confined to zoos and/or eccentric Vegas magic shows (or poop of any variety, really) ... is ... uhh ... not moving in next to me any time soon. But don't tell that to the stinky peeps in one Scottish neighborhood.
Somewhere, the Boogie Man and the Loch Ness Monster are calling their lawyers. It's one thing to advocate protecting endangered animals. It's another thing entirely to advocate the protection things that ... well ... don't necessarily exist.
It's hard to find the inspiration to run. But maybe it's not so hard when you've got to catch your meal ... in the desert ... of a foreign country ... with a bunch of Aborigines ... with a camera stuck squarely in your starving, sweaty face. At least, that's what the makers of a new British reality show are betting on. Nothing says "I love you" like 26 counts of grand theft auto. Police say that whenever a lovesick Los Angeles man wanted to visit his ladyfriend, he'd hop in a car and drive right over. Except all Antonio Moreno's rides were of the red-hot variety. It wasn't me. It was my freakishly lifelike self-styled robot clone. A Japanese researcher has the perfect excuse for behaving badly: a robot that looks just like him. |
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