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October 2009
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« Registry says you can name your kid Metallica, but not Post Master General. Darn. |
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| Wayward circus animals cause traffic jam »
OK, I get it. Everyone is different. Some people like blondes. Some people like freckles. Some people even like feet. (Oh the HORROR!) But I've never - and I mean NEVER - heard of a guy who was into sneezes. ... So into them, in fact, that he was willing to go to the big house for his fetish. But apparently there is such a man, and he lives in ... wait for it ... Texas. (Hooray for us!) According to The Greenville Herald-Banner, an elderly (yep) man is facing aggravated assault charges for allegedly blowing white pepper in the face of a store clerk. And why would he do such a thing, one might regrettably inquire? Police say he gets his kicks from watching women sneeze. I mean, really. Really?! You can't make this stuff up. "In my entire career I've never heard of anything like this," Commerce Police Chief Kerry Crews told The Herald-Banner. "I've checked with my detectives, and they haven't heard of anything like it either." The whole thing went down like this: The old booger-loving dude walked up to the clerk at a hardware and feed store, handed her a check and blew some white powdery stuff in her face. The clerk turned away to process his check, and when she turned back around, the snotster did it again. Police said he waited in the store for a few minutes after that, waiting for a hearty aaaahchooo, but he left unsatisfied. "We found out he's got a problem," Crews told The Herald-Banner, because it was Comical Understatement Day at the Commerce Police Department. "He becomes aroused by females sneezing." Police said even though his sneeze-seeking was scary, it wasn't a sexual assault. They were, however, able to arrest him for aggravated assault causing serious bodily injury after the clerk went to the hospital with an irritated throat and arm. |
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