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March 2009
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September 2008 ArchivesIt's bad to cry wolf. It's also bad to cry bunny rabbit when you've got Godzilla at your door. In that spirit, we present today's blog, fresh from the Dept. of Understatements. Officer Mark Ableman probably wasn't too thrilled when he got the seemingly ho-hum call about a bothersome "kitty cat" at a Casper home. But when he arrived at the scene, he got more than he bargained for.
Drop those beans, baddie! Your flatulence flies in the face of justice ... literally. A West Virginia man is facing battery charges after he allegedly tooted at a cop while in custody, the Associated Press reports. Police pulled over Jose Cruz, 34, after they supposedly spotted him cruising at night sans headlights. According to the report, Cruz was slurring and smelled like booze, so they took him to the police station for a breathalyzer test. That's when things got ugly. There are plenty of things in life that are just plain unnecessary. You know, things like mullets, teen dramas on the WB, anything starring David Hasselhoff, that second helping of chili cheese fries, etc. Most of the time, those things go without saying. But let us take a moment here to address perhaps the most unnecessary -- nay, the most comically horrifying -- thing to be foisted onto the public since New Coke: The naked clown calendar. We'll pause a moment so you can call your therapist and fix yourself a nice, strong cocktail. >> Continue reading: Clowns strip down for naked calendar You know what I think is romantic? Flowers. You know what Jason and Rachael Storm think is romantic? Formaldehyde. Hey, to each his own, right? The newly-minted Storms beat marital cynics to the punch and tied the knot at a Michigan funeral home, The Associated Press reports. We'll pause here to give you a moment to come up with your own snarky till-death-do-us-part joke. ... OK. |
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