"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

Ha ... ha ... ha?

Yeah. Let us pause a moment so you can recover that nugget of comic gold.

Very well, then.

The second-oldest joke comes to us from 1600 BC. It's a pharaoh joke. (Are you excited yet?)

"How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

(Crickets)

OK, tough crowd.

How about a little humor from 10th century England to tickle ye olde funny bone?

"What ***** at a **** ***** and ***** ***** ** **** *** **** *** ****** ****** before? A key!"

Ummmm ... ummmmmmmmmm ... so ... I ... err ... Let's just say the British have had their minds in the gutter for a loooong time, and this is a family blog. Sorry.

The writer of the study takes a more philosophical view of the un-funnies.

"What they all share ... is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns ... toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research," Paul McDonald, a senior lecturer at Wolverhampton, said.

Right.

So the next time your joke is met with the unbearable roar of awkward silence, take heart in the fact that you come by it naturally -- it's just another case of history repeating.