Apparently, the driver fell asleep behind the wheel around 4 a.m. and slammed into the median, causing his precious cargo to hit the road.

"The boxes came out of the trailer, and the boxes were ripped open," State Police Sgt. Brian Mahoney said.

Police said the crash was still "under investigation," which, as everyone knows, is police code for "a department lunch buffet."

No charges were filed, and no one (besides my insanely jealous inner child) was hurt.