According to The Associated Press, cops were searching a home in the downtown area when they found a dude that was hiding 15 plastic bags of crack where the sun don't shine, thereby generating what might be the finest news headline in the history of ever. Period.

Not surprisingly, the guy was charged with possession with the intent to distribute his crack ... although I don't know who would want it after that.

He was also charged with obstruction and hindering, making a false statement to cops and possession of drug paraphernalia. It's unclear where he had that stashed away.

By Taylor Timmins

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Say WHAT?!

Um ... Hi, Mr. S*** Face? Yeah. Nationwide Collections, Inc., would like to have a word with you ...

If you're trying to collect a long-forgotten debt, calling someone a doody head probably isn't the best way to do it.

But a Florida collection agency did just that.

They sent a "Dear S***" letter out to a dude who owed some money to Columbia House, the Associated Press reports.

Seriously.

The envelope was addressed to Mr. "S*** Face."

"I've never seen anything quite so brazen," attorney Kenneth Hiller said.

Hiller says the man, his client, is going to sue the agency next week.

Under U.S. law, debt collectors are forbidden from using profanity to collect a debt. They're also not supposed to threaten legal action over such a small amount of cash.

Nationwide President Philip McGarvey said the letter was automatically generated after his company purchased around 350,000 accounts from the record club.

He said the account was opened under the name "S*** Face."

"It looks bad to the observer who is not familiar with the industry," acknowledged McGarvey, "but anybody who understands the volume would understand how this could happen ... You've also got people filling in famous people's names."

"Mr. Face" claims he never opened such an account.

By Taylor Timmins