The University of Sheffield in England recently conducted a poll that indicates that most kiddos think clowns are ... well ... horrifying.

In fact, every single child polled -- ranging from 4 to 16 years of age -- said they would like to give Bozo the boot, Reuters reports.

Awesome. And all this time you were wondering where you went wrong as a parent. I'd say it was in 1984, in that party in the backyard, when you invited the dude with the big wig and red nose. Thanks.

The study was actually conducted to determine how hospitals can improve the decor of children's wards.

"As adults we make assumptions about what works for children," said Penny Curtis, a senior lecturer at the university.

"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable."

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Wife gone crazy? Keep her away from the chocolate

Is the lady in your life insane?

Perhaps it's what you're feeding her.

When you pick out your Valentine's goodies this year, keep this in mind: Researchers at Texas A&M say sweets conjure up a cornucopia of "mixed emotions" in the ladies.

How sad! And happy! And infuriating!

According to the research, when women who identify themselves as "high cravers" chow down on chocolate, they can become awash in both positive feelings like security and satisfaction and negative ones like depression and anxiety.

Ummmm ... OK.

So do yourself a favor and stick with the flowers. Unless she likes to eat those too.

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Note to self: Trailer hitch an inappropriate place to store my giant rubber testicles

Fuzzy dice, sure. Graduation tassel, fine. Giant rubber testicles, not so much.

At least when you're truckin' it in Virginia.

You see, state lawmaker there recently introduced a bill banning replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, the Associated Press reports.

You can't make this stuff up.

Del. Lionel Spruill believes the dangling bits are a distraction to other drivers.

Ya don't say?!

He said he was inspired by a girl who spotted one on the trailer hitch of a truck and asked her dad to explain it.

The flustered pop told the lawmaker about the episode, and since then Spruill has vowed to put a stop to the anatomadness

"I said, 'Sir, I'm going to be a laughingstock, but I'm going to do it,'" Spruill said.

Virginia's tax dollars hard at work.