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July 2009
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June 2007 Archives
Ah, politics. The inescapable bane of your nightly news. Posturing politicians have had their undergarments in a bunch about the 2008 elections for some time, and it's unlikely to abate anytime soon. But regardless of which side of the aisle you favor, or if you're even in the building, you can probably think of a few choice names to hurl in the general direction of many of the folks in the running. "Oh Bus Horse" probably isn't one of them.
Looking to get your significant someone in the mood? Tried flowers? Chocolate? Champagne? Blackmail? Desperation? All to no avail? You, my friend, are in need of a hagfish. Seriously.
You know, it's just like your dad always told you ... When you're having a bad day on the green, just burn that sucker down. It's really too bad your dad was an arsonist. You should've listened to someone else's dad. Same goes for this guy -- A golfer in Reno's day went from bad to burn when his attempt to get out of the rough sparked a grass fire that burned 20 acres of land, officials told the Associated Press.
When Lynn Alexander first saw the stoney profile of The King among his wife's collection of river rocks, he was understandably all shook up. After all, he hadn't seen Elvis Presley since 1974 when he performed at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, Rocky Mountain News reports. And since everyone's favorite peanut butter and banana sandwich-scarfing rock icon kicked the bucket back in 1977, Alexander, like many, just assumed he'd never see him again. Then his wife dusted off the old pile of stones.
If you're itchin' to bare your bottom, you'd better steer clear of Delcambre, La. You see, Mayor Carol Broussard is cruisin' to bruise bottoms left bare by baggy britches. Broussard said he would sign an ordinance that bans residents from being caught in pants that show their underwear or certain body parts, the Associated Press reports.
There's a serious problem in China. A problem so dire that authorities are considering a drastic move to alleviate it. A problem so pervasive that millions upon millions are affected every day. You see, there are 93 million Wangs in China ... And that's more Wangs than they know what to do with.
Hit the road, Romeo! I've got a date with Snickers! (Read: The women who prefer chocolate over sex and the men who hate them). Sorry, English dudes. A recent study shows that more than half of British women would rather chow down on chocolate than get busy in the boudoir. And why? They say chocolate can always be depended upon to give pleasure. Ouch. Sitting down for a bean and broccoli dinner? Better be wearing your poot pants. If you or someone you love is in serious need of a silencer, Brian Conant just might be your new hero. About eight years ago when he was training as a National Guardsman in Hawaii, Conant stumbled upon a rather miraculous realization: when he was wearing his charcoal-lined chemical warfare suit, no one could tell when he passed gas, The Orlando Sentinel reports.
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