I mean, seriously, why do we walk down the aisle dressed like a beaded marshmallow with a sheet over our heads?

According to Jenn Thompson's Mental Floss, the meanings behind even the most accepted wedding traditions are nothing short of bizarre.

Take the white wedding dress, for example. Thompson says the only reason we do that is that Queen Victoria did it back in the day when she married her cousin. *** Cue the eeeeeews***

And the veil? That comes from a time when dads used their daughters as bargaining chips to repay debts or take a step up the social ladder. They arranged the marriages, so often the bride and groom didn't meet until their big day. The veil was a form of ugly insurance. If the chick's face was kept under wraps until the you-may-kiss-the-bride part, then the groom couldn't high tail it out of there, searching desperately for eye bleach until she was legally his in the eyes of the law AND the Big Guy.

And it gets weirder from there -- Check out Thompson's column for more.