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June 2008
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Our invitations are out (with only two return to sender so far), so now we wait for the reply cards to pour in. And they're coming. This is not comparable to Heinz ketchup; think Gatorade on the Boston Celtics' coach last week.
The deadline is pretty far away, but if you know you're coming, why not just mail it? Why are people just telling our parents that they're gonna show? (Probably because the Cody family has never really done the formal invites for anything.) I am the one keeping the Excel spreadsheet. Somewhere, my French teachers are shaking their heads at my headline. I kid, I kid! I know what it means: "Répondez, s'il vous plaît," or simply, "please reply." But does everyone else know what to do? Here's what go-to girl Emily Post has to say. From her Etiquette Everyday : "... Response Card: fill in and reply by the date indicated and return in the enclosed envelope." And from "Tips on Being the Perfect Guest," the first thing listed is to (dramatic pause) "R.S.V.P. Immediately." She says," Your most important obligation as a guest is to respond to the invitation immediately, especially if you are unable to attend." Yes, yes, yes. Besides the fact that I spent a lot of time stuffing those envelopes, some money went into it. The R.S.V.P. cards bumped the invite's total weight to more than 1 ounce, requiring a 59-cent stamp. And then I put "forever" stamps on those reply envelopes. Please use them! They are so lonely. I also don't want to set a dangerous precedent of allowing people to e-mail me their R.S.V.P. cards. This morning, I had more than 800 e-mails in my inbox. I don't think I want another 200. (Am I totally being bridezilla right now? It's just easier for me to have physical evidence of your attendance.) TrackBackTrackBack URL for this entry: 11 Comments |
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You are totally NOT being a bridezilla! I think you're more than allowed to be stern and strict when it comes to RSVP's. =)
I sent out invitations and had 1 couple send back the RSVP for 20 people. They ended up inviting their kids and grandkids to my wedding! They just wrote who was coming on the back. (the extras were not originally invited)
Shannon: I feel for you! Emily Post has some things to say about that situation as well ...
For one, our generation LACKS COURTESY!!! ..are you surprised by the email RSVP's, that's our generation! (I shudder at the thought of those postage stamps that went unused for my rsvp cards)
For our older generation, they probably don't because they didn't have all of these 'rules for weddings etiquette' but I do understand your pain!!
Just hang in there and add a good 10% to your replies because there is always that cousin who brings an unexpected date as noted by Shannon!! I would like to know how Shannon handled that situation??? LOL
Just a few points:
1. Timeliness is what deadlines regulate. If you wanted R.S.V.P.s sooner, you should have given an earlier deadline.
2. You publicly denigrate your family for their lack of etiquette. Tsk.
3. To the person who commented on "our older generation": how condescending and incorrect. The etiquette authority Adrienne points to was born in 1873 and the institute she founded has continued her efforts since Miss Post's death in 1960. Courtesy and ritual are not new inventions. Many complex traditions have regulated human behavior for hundreds of years.
You're right that courtesy and ritual are not new, which is why if someone is telling others of their attendance status, they should let me know as well -- by mailing the response card. Further, a lot of thought went into this entry. I was torn about posting it, and you can't please everyone, but this blog's purpose is not solely to let Taylor and I blow off steam. It should be informative, regardless of what your role in the wedding day is - bride, groom, wedding party member or guest.
How about if people just RSVP in the comment box of your blog? That should be good enough, right?
Or how about if I set my facebook status to "attending Adrienne's wedding?"
I just slipped the envelope under your door.... how's that for hand delivered?
Rock!!
I feel for you as well. I also had people not RSVP and RSVP for others that were not invited which sent my mother on a rampage calling my future in-laws and "those people I invited" a "bunch of country hicks who think we're throwing a barn dance". We got through it and to all those people who think it will be funny in a year, I'm here to tell you IT'S NOT. I still cringe thinking about the 3 headed Medusa my mother turned into trying to plan that thing...
"Barn dance" -- OOF!