Since I love dressing up and I love asking and answering questions, I thought a beauty pageant would be a perfect hybrid to satisfy both proclivities. I knew going into it that the pageant would consist of many frilly girls. It didn't seem to faze me at the time.

I was headstrong that my intellectual insight, knowledge of current events, and mature disposition would set me apart from the rest of the pack. In spite of my confidence, I had an extremely difficult time convincing my mom to let me enter an event that she thought trivialized girls' true talents and it took an even greater amount of convincing to get her to buy me all of the 'supplies' (evening gown, opening outfit, fake eyelashes, hair extensions, butt glue, pageant training, etc..) that I would need for the pageant.

Many contestants had teams of makeup artists, hair stylists, and coaches set up in hotel rooms to professionally support their girl to get one high-heeled step closer to the crown.

Some girls even got up as early as 4 a.m. to get their 'faces' put on. But if we needed this much conforming and this much help to get to the crown, then were we truly being ourselves?

I kept wondering. If we are all conforming to try to fill the shoes of Miss Texas Teen, won't we step all over each other, without ever truly taking stride? I was lost in a battlefield of individualism vs. pageant queen, and even the extra-firm hairspray couldn't hold my thoughts in place.

Don't get me wrong, many of the girls were intelligent, funny, and very congenial. As different as we were, during rehearsals everyone was trained to blend in, to do things the 'beauty pageant' way.

But if we all did it the beauty pageant way, how would we stand out? How would we show the judges who we were and that we deserved the crown? With 134 contestants, the judges didn't have the time or opportunity to learn much about any of the girls and I wondered if they would be scoring on who came the closest to the stereotypical status quo rather than who excelled and exceeded expectations.

And in the midst of all of this confusion, I went into my interview, with confidence that my knowledge of current events would blow the judges away, but I suppose I didn't consider my demographic in my responses.

Before I went into my interview, I asked a girl "What if they ask you a question about politics?" She looked at me, with a nervous, I-pray-to-God- they-don't expression and succinctly said "Forget about it!"

In my interview, I made sure to make eye contact, smile, and exude the 'pick-me!' confidence in the two and a half minutes I spent with the judges. I also made sure to talk about my professional role model, Anderson Cooper, my marathon running experience, politics (I even threw Nancy Pelosi in the mix for good measure), and how the biggest issue facing teens in America today was, in my opinion, their lack of interest in the nation and the world's current state of affairs. (The most popular responses for that question were peer pressure and self-esteem).

Needless to say, I felt like I was speaking gibberish and needed to explain my unintelligible responses.

When my name was not called for the top 15 finalists (there were 134 girls), I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I would be.

There were many fantastic girls whose names weren't called and I knew that any one of them would have looked like the obvious winner when wearing the crown.

While standing on the stage while the finalists were announced, all I could think about was how much money my mom spent on the pageant and how many 'I told you so's' I deserved for entering in the first place.

All of a sudden, I felt ridiculous standing there with a layer of makeup on my face, bronzer smeared all over my body, and hair extensions clipped snuggly to my scalp. I was dressed up with nowhere to go. I was dressed up not for myself, but for what I thought others wanted me to be.

I didn't feel beautiful, I felt fake. In those following moments on the stage, I mused about how much my mom must love me for putting up with my pageant infatuation, how much I wanted to yank out my fake hair and rinse and repeat until my mane could move independently of my head, but most of all I smiled at the fact that, at that exact moment, there was nothing I craved more than a good, heavy dose of CNN, so the world would make sense to me again!

It was interesting to me that, throughout the whole pageant weekend, I got at least 15 phone calls from my friends, wishing me luck and support. However, when I ran the Nike Women’s Marathon and raised over $5,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in the process, only one friend called to congratulate me.

While I appreciated the support of my friends during the beauty pageant, the stark contrast made me question the allure of a contest based solely on the opinions of individuals, to actual success and achievement.

Who knows what the judges were looking for? Who knows if there would have been an entirely different outcome had there been a different panel of judges.

The thing that all girls have to accept going into this is that:
1.) You are judged on your appearance, on brief first impressions, and on unknown criteria that you may or may not meet.
2.) If you enter a beauty pageant, enter for the experience, for the friends, not to win. There can only be one winner. 133 times out of 134, the crowned winner won't be you!
3.) Even if you do win, you only have your title for a year, and then the honor goes to someone else. So don't come home bereft and empty handed. Make the most out of the experience!

The winner of this year's pageant, Miss Laredo, is truly a lovely girl and I am extremely happy for her as I know this must be a very exciting time. I wish her all the best in her future endeavors as Miss Texas Teen 2008.

I hope she doesn't just fulfill her duties, but makes the most out of her reigning year to make a difference with her crown, and show people that brains and beauty can coexist and prosper off of each other.

While I regret how much money my mom spent on the pageant, I am glad that I entered and I wouldn't take it back for a second.

I met many fantastic girls that are comfortable and confident enough in their own skin to be judged in front of hundreds of people. I grew closer to my mom and fully appreciate her support despite her better judgment.

The pageant kept my morals and my priorities in check and focused. I realized that I don't have to have a crown to make a difference. I can go out and create my own opportunities; I shouldn't wait to have them handed to me.

But most of all, this pageant has reminded me, that in life, when you compete against others, there can only be one winner.

When you challenge and compete against yourself, you always have the opportunity to be the winner.

I may not be Miss Texas Teen 2008, but I am Meredith Baker (Miss Bayou City to my pageant friends), and I alone have the power to define my beauty, my success, and myself.

P.S.-I really do want world peace!