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There are certain things in life that hold absolutely no interest for me. Being stuck on a one-winged airplane in a tornado is one. Sitting through an entire episode of "The Hills" without a bathtub full of vodka is another. Yep. I'd sooner eat a sweaty sock sandwich while watching "The Hills" on repeat in coach on a crowded one-winged airplane with no beverage service in a hurricane, honestly. But apparently there are some women out there who dig it. At least, there's one. That would be Kate Major. The former Star magazine reporter detailed her alleged ATV hookup sessions with the dad of a gazillion to Life & Style. Major described big poppa Gosselin as a "great kisser" (and I just threw up in my mouth a little bit) with whom she had an "amazing" time. Major told Life & Style in one close encounter of the Ed-Hardy-wearing-doofus kind, Gosselin instructed her to go to a neighbor's house after midnight. With his 459,000 children tucked snug in their beds, dreaming of future sessions with a therapist, Major said Gosselin rode over on his four-wheeler (not joking), picked her up and took her back to his casa. Once their alone time was over, he dropped her back off at the neighbor's house , Major said. "Looking back, it was all pretty much sexual. That's what he had in mind," Major told Life & Style. No kidding?? That totally ruins my fantasy of a dirtbag in an ugly designer T-shirt sweeping me off my feet as we ride into the sunset on his ATV, his diamond stud earring glittering roguishly as if to say, "I iz so awsum." Sigh. Anyway, Major went on to tell the gossip mag that Jon broke up with her via text message after getting back with that other indistinguishably bland girly-thing. I just don't GET it, people. There are so many other philandering, pudgy doofuses out there to hitch your wagon to who don't have a small army of children and a semi-scary soon-to-be ex-wife. I don't know who is worse: Gosselin or his girls. 5 CommentsLeave a comment |
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Jon Gosselin picks up chicks on his ATV
Kristin said:
This actaully made me laugh out loud. I couldn't imagine riding into the sunset on someones ATV. Yeah, they are fun...but not to ride out on for a quickie. Jon Gosselin is a pig and all these girls want is some camera time. How can a 22 yr old be interested in someone with 8 kids? He makes me sick. I'm glad Kate is done with that trash!
houstonray said:
THAT was a hilariously written article. Loved it! Made me laugh out loud at work (which prompted all sorts of "what is he laughing at" stares).
bgage1751 said:
This was hilarious and I couldnt stop laughing either
Taylor said:
Awwww! Thanks, guys! :)
BB said:
The only thing that made this wretched tale palatable was the extremely humorous way in which it was presented. Thank you, for you spared me from repeated nightmares.