3) Gossip rags desperately don't want Jon & Kate to work it out: Kate snapped at a child! (No mom ever does that, right?) They all ate dinner together! But then filmed a seperate interview. Oh but they said dinner was really nice even though Kate "smacked" celeb chef Emeril with a spatula. OMG wait let's make the headline something like "Kate beats the crap out of Emeril." Come on, people. I think everyone is suddenly rooting for them to get a divorce. First the editors were sad, now they're blowing everything up like spaghetti in the microwave. Are there not bigger fish to fry somewhere, like ...

4) Miley Cyrus breakup: Finally, finally this kind of creepy relationship has ended. He's 20. You are 16. Ew. We've been over this.

5) Finally, in the coolest thing I've seen in forevers, ZACK MORRIS IS BACK! AHH! So is the giant cell phone! TIME OUT! Watch Mark-Paul Gosselaar reprise his best - role - ever here. And then think about how you used to want to look like you'd fit in at The Max.