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  Heidi, Spencer need to go play in traffic

1:45 PM Mon, Jun 22, 2009 |
Taylor

speidi22.jpgThere are certain things in life that I have no use for.

You know, stuff like a boat with a cannonball-shaped hole in the bottom, a box of burnt hair, a super-sized canister of Weight Gain 3000, Twitter, Fran Drescher ...

But perhaps nothing in the world - and I mean nothing - is more useless to me than reality TV's gruesome twosome, Heidi and Spencer Pratt.

Seriously, folks. Can't these two go play in traffic? Isn't there a falling grand piano somewhere out there they can stand under? I think they might, if I showed up with a camera.

Why do people keep letting them on TV?

Their latest stunt - according to TMZ.com - is that they're heading back to Costa Rica for another round of "torture" on NBC's "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me a Lobotomy !" --err - "Out of Here!"

Remind me again who unleashed these fools on us? Was it MTV? Is it their fault? I wouldn't know, because I haven't watched MTV since ... well ... ever.

But every time I see Heidi's plasticized horse face and Spencer's carefully coiffed curly head of hair, I want to jump on my desk, light something on fire and scream.

So why are the Pratts going back to the show they've already quit at least a bazillion times before?

Because they are ridiculous? Yes. Because they are C-List famemongerers desperate to see their mugs on the boob tube? Yes.

I have a theory: Heidi and Spencer are like the celebrity equivalent of an annoying advertisement. If you just don't look, they will go away.

Here's to hoping, anyway ...



2 Comments


erin said:

I wanted to vomit after I saw the clip of them coming back from Mexico, kissing in their face masks while trying to avoid the swine flu. Good thing for Heidi it's not the horse flu.


Adrienne said:

Maybe they could be the new cast members on a show I'm calling "Stranded on a horrible island forever." The show is just one episode: Them getting dropped off with all the dry shampoo they need - no food though.

Spencer's beard freaks me out.


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