The discussion some weeks back around the Smoke Ring - the official relaxation home of For Men Only - was about guy movies. At a point, the discussion turned to "Convoy," the trucker movie starring Kris Kristofferson.
First, I think this may be the only movie ever made - or at least the first - that is based on a song. "We are going to rock this truck'n Convoy...."
Anyway, an e-mail chat soon thereafter launched into the best CB handles and what would our handles be.
Of course, Kristofferson in the movie was Rubber Duck. He even drove a Mack truck that instead of the bulldog - the Mack Truck logo - for the hood ornament he had a duck.
A pal of our, who is not the best kept man in the world, was quickly dubbed Pig Pen.
A local police officer who hangs out among us in our little cigar group was dubbed Dirty Lyle after the sheriff's character in the movie.
Now, that is an interesting topic especially in these days where CB's have been replaced by mobile phones and Nextel push-talk phones.
But, need we forget CB handles still exist, they are now called screen names. In the world of the Internet and MySpace people rarely, go by their real names and use "handles."
Many are very creative. Some are just plain strange.
But For Men Only prefers to go old school here and stick with CB handles. I mean to say Breaker 1-9 for CULTR comes out as Culter instead of C-U-Later.
I don't think the Rubber Ducky would approve.
Of course, For Men Only's CB handle is an homage the first ever president and of the He Man Woman Hater's Club --- Spanky McFarland.
Therefore, if you have to get a hold of me by CB just holler out "Breaker 1-9 for Spanky Rascal, what's your 20?"
So, what would your CB Handle be?
Handles? I'd woulda like to have had a handle on Ali MacGraw, that's for sure! Wow....
Actually, you're missing a bit of the point here. Folks can't opine on what their handles would be, as handles are conferred upon an individual, like a gift from their fellow buds. They're usually based on something both amusing and embarrassing about someone, such as flatulence, belly size, affinity for car wrecks, poor luck with women, resemblance to a famous loser or anything else that results in belly laughs from their posse of friends. Given the chance, all guys would give themselves heroic handles that would never get used in real life, which is why they can only be given or conferred by those that know one best. After all, who would ever choose to be called "Stinky"?
My Father and I were discussing your article the other night and it lead to a story that I had forgotten about. When the CB rage was hot and heavy my Father was in his early 20's and way into it. When he would drive back from work he and I would talk on the CB together which made me think that I was all grown up. (Still haven't accomplished that one yet) What I did not know that I found out a couple of nights ago while we were sitting around having a cigar and talking about your blog and how that came about with you and I talking about Convoy. He told me a story that was too good not to share. He and another buddy would turn their CB's to channel 5. He and his buddy would start talking like they were gay and messing with the guys on channel 5.
Obviously our Political Correctness has changed our outlook on this childish behaviour but in the early and mid 70's this was causing quite a stir on channel 5 with the constituents. As he was telling me this story and had us in tears I asked him what CB handle he used on the station because he was obviouly not going to use his normal one. His CB handle was "The Lynchburg Fairy". Now that is a classic.
Continuing Tails From the Trailer Park.
D.
On another note, great comments from A.B.M. about Chuck Heston.
V., If you would like to come by the cigar shop you are more than welcome to have a conversation with us and explain to us about how we are viewing the world incorrectly. I would think that you could persuade us fairly easily seeing that you are without question more educated and enlightened than our group. We are mainly Rednecks, except for A.B.M. who runs a large outfit in the medical field and the guy that owns banks and the guy that owns insurance companies and the guy that owns construction companies and the doctors and the two guys who have been in space and the upper management of police forces. Now that I think about it I'm probably the only guy you have a shot with. Good Luck.
mine would be buckaroo
A.B.M. for those who know the meaning, enough said.
Still,
IncogNegro