The Willy Week isn't necessarily known for its clever humor, but you need to go read AP Kryza's guide to the Nine people you meet at Oregon Brewers Fest.

The Wrecking Ball

His mission, should he choose to accept it, is to make a beeline to all the beers with the highest ABV (alcohol by volume) concentration and drink until he’s stumbling into blind oblivion. This species of mad-bull drinkers is easily identifiable—he’s the dude who plows through the long lines, practically body-checking anyone in his path. He’s usually pretty apologetic about it, and will gladly help you towel spilled beer off your body with his Abercrombie T-shirt. (Link)

The festival runs at Waterfront Park through Sunday. $4 to get in, $1 a pour.