Adoption Dreams on Hold
International adoption is not for the faint of heart.
The rewards are immeasurable. But few would describe the mountain of paperwork and emotional roller coaster ride as easy. In some of the most popular countries it's about to get even harder. And in some important ways, better.
On May 10th at 5pm I'll be looking at some of the changes affecting adoptions in China and Guatemala in a special report we are calling Dreams on Hold. But I wanted to offer a little more detail about what's going on in those two countries.
First China. The China Center for Adoptions is swamped. While there is no "official" numbers but Internet sites that track these things speculate the backlog of adoption requests as high as 20-thousand. China is popular because for the most part the process works.
Ron Beazely of All God's Children International says he loves working with the Chinese because they are honorable. That more and more people want a Chinese adoption because they do it so well.
Ron says another reason for the slowdown is because more families in China are able to pay the extra fees to keep a second child. The economy is booming there.
So the wait for a referral of a healthy infant has gone from six months to as long as two years. The wait for a special needs child is much shorter.
In response to the demand China has also tightened it's requirements for adopting parents. Single parents and people with serious weight problems need not apply anymore. If that seems harsh you should know that many other countries have those same guidelines.
Susan Soon-Keum Cox of Holt International Children's Service is also concerned about what will happen when the bright spotlight of media arrives for the Beijing Olympics. She points to 1988 when the Olympics were in Seoul Korea. Many of the stories were predictably on adoption. Well, turns out this was the first time the Korean public became aware of how many of their children were being adopted by people from other countries. The response was negative. She expects the same thing will happen in China.
To make her point she reminded me of the alarm many Americans felt a few years ago when they first learned that Canadians and Europeans were adopting many children from the United States.
Things are more difficult in Guatemala, the second most popular country for U-S adoptions. The U-S State Department is no longer recommending that Americans adopt children from Guatemala. The advisory stops short of imposing a ban on adoptions from Guatemala but says there are frequent cases of birth mothers pressured to sell their babies and adoptive American parents targeted by extortionists. It's common for private attorneys to handle adoptions in Guatemala. And in the end the State Department concluded that money drives the adoption process more than a desire to protect children.
This of course does not apply to all adoptions from Guatemala. All God's Children has an amazing program there. It runs an orphanage, home and school for children as well as a facility for birth mothers. It's called Hannah's Hope. (Which is another great story all on it's own.)They know exactly where the babies are coming from and care for them until the adoption is complete. In addition, adopting parents often have a chance to meet the birth mother and get monthly video and medical updates on the child they are working to adopt.
Ron Beazely is optimistic that the Guatemalan government will take control of the adoption process to reduce or eliminate the corruption. The question is how soon?
Pressure is intense because of an agreement called the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoptions. It sets guidelines that protect children and birth families and adoptive families. It is expected to be ratified by the U-S later this year.
Guatemala has also agreed to those guidelines but hasn't been able to put them into practice. If it can't the U-S could cut off adoptions with Guatemala after ratification.
That has many U-S agencies ending their Guatemalan programs now .All God's Children remains committed to its program in Guatemala and is still accepting applications. Plus, Ron Beazely says if adoptions were to end they would continue to run and support the children and birth mothers at Hannah's Hope. It would just be a lot harder.
The Hague agreement may also have another impact on adoption. Agencies must go through a lengthy and expensive process of being accredited with the State Department after The Hague is ratified. Some are unable to do that and will go out of business. So if you are considering international adoption make sure you use an agency you can trust and that will be around a year from now. The rules are always changing and countries are opening and closing so experience counts.
Both All God's Children and Holt International absolutely support the Hague guidelines by the way. And as Susan Cox said so well " We have to remember that our objective is to find families for children, not find children for families."
In the spirit of full disclosure you need to know that I am deeply invested in international adoption. As many of you know my husband and I adopted both of our daughters from China through Holt.
Like most parents our children are our greatest joy. Their resilience and strength take my breath away. Their love humbles me. Everyday of my life I am grateful for the privilege of being their mother. And my husband loves them with equal intensity.
It's not always simple of course. I no longer notice the superficial differences between us but other people do. We are an interracial family. We stand out. We are often asked by well meaning strangers to validate our family as "real". That's hard for the girls especially. There will no doubt be more challenges to come.
And as Mother's Day approaches, I am very clear that my greatest joy comes from what is likely another mother's greatest sorrow. I wish I could thank them for the incredible gift they have given us and let them know their daughters, our daughters, are safe and well and so deeply loved.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you, and as always thank you for watching.
Comments
Thank you for doing this important story. I am the mother of two children born in south america.
What is going on in Guatemala is similar to what was going on in my daughters birth country ... they shut down for a period of time only to reopen with much stricter rules and a central government office that oversaw all adoptions... eliminating all private adoptions except by those who were of that descent..
Posted by: Carol | May 10, 2007 1:16 PM
I'm just wondering why anyone goes to another country to adopt a child..What is the matter with the babies we have here..Maybe it's a status thing...A way to get lots of attention like Angelina Jolie..I can't feel sorry for any of you having problems with your adoptions in China, Africa or anywhere else..charity starts at home...
Posted by: Karen | May 10, 2007 5:26 PM
Thank you for bringing international adoption to the attention of the general public. Guatemala is having their difficulties but most agencies are keeping the 'baby trade' down by requiring blood testing from the adoptive mothers to match that of the childs. This insures that it is the birthmother giving the child and not another woman. There are several agencies that have their own orphanges. The agency we used has one in Haiti that has many many children in need. Our agency is also in Portland, small but they have the very best people working there. Tree of Life adoption Center, www.toladopt.org.
We adopted two boys from Russia with them last year, who are both doing wonderful and growing in leaps and bounds. The expense of adoption is also the other big thing keeping parents from adopting, country fees are so large. The federal tax credit helps but mostly only for those who don't already have too hard of a time paying the expenses.
Posted by: CeAnne | May 10, 2007 5:36 PM
Thank you for the informative and thoughtful story and for sharing your own experiences. Have you ever heard of The Anti-Racist Parent blog (http://www.antiracistparent.com/)? It is a great resource for all parents but especially parents of multiracial and transracially adopted children.
Posted by: Kay | May 10, 2007 5:47 PM
Karen,
Next time, do your homework before posting such an ignorant comment.
Posted by: Andrea | May 10, 2007 8:44 PM
Thank you for doing such a great story on adoption. We have two beautiful daughters. Both are adopted, one domestic, one from China. There are advantages and challenges with both types, but the rewards are equal. To the person who said that charity begins at home: There is one earth and it is home to all of us!
Posted by: Sheila | May 10, 2007 10:04 PM
We adopted our daughter from Korea through Holt when she was 2 1/2 yrs. old. She is now 31 and has 2 children of her own. The greatest compliment she has given me is that she forgets she is adopted. Others notice the differences but we truly don't. She was a throw-away child and in an orphanage. I don't feel guilty for bringing her here.
Posted by: Bev | May 10, 2007 11:48 PM
My wife and I just adopted a beautiful 4 month little girl from Vietnam about a month ago. It has been an amazing experience.
I have to admit a little irritation and defensiveness at Karen's post above. We choose to adopt internationally because we wanted the youngest child possible. We wanted a closed adoption and were weary of the poor kids that have attachment disorder problems. We did not do it for attention like Angelina and I find that insulting. Our foster care system here in the US is a wonderful way to try and keep families together because that is the emphasis. However, it is not adoption friendly from perspective parents.
Our daughter was abandoned as a newborn, she spend her first 3 months in an orphanage and faced a bleak life. We are so lucky to have been matched with her. She is perfect for us and our lives will forever be changed, both from our travels to Vietnam and from our darling daughter.
Please check out www.adoptionbuzz.org which is a great resource for adoption news. Also www.adoptionmoasic.org
Posted by: KKC | May 11, 2007 9:52 AM
I find great offense at Karen's post. Karen, I am sorry you feel this way. You should open your eyes to see that most of the kids in the US are well cared for, albeit in foster homes. In other countries they live in orphanages lying in cribs all day with no one to change their diapers, love them, or snuggle and feed them. Or they live in orphanages that do not have running water, toilets, or 3 meals a day. Or they live in garbage dumps (I have been to garbage dumps in 2 other countries were abdandoned kids live!) foraging through others rubbish just to live!!! In NO way was this a way for us to get more attention, it was a way for us to bless children from another country who were living in a civil war and had almost no chance of anything, much less living past their 5th or 6th or 7th birthdays. I am sure you must get my point now. We have 2 beautiful children adopted from Sierra Leone West Africa and I would not trade them for anything! We also have 2 biological children and our family lives as an interracial family without any problems whatsoever! I am saddened when I hear about the black-market babies or babies being sold throughout the world. Unfortunately, it is those kinds of behavirors that ruin it for peole to adopt from other countries. I am thankful for the protection that has been put into place to make sure that adoptions are done lawfully.
Posted by: Loni | May 11, 2007 3:26 PM
Karen,
How wonderful that you are interested in adopting "charity from home". Keep us all updated on your progress as you move through forming YOUR family!
Posted by: Krissy | May 11, 2007 3:30 PM
Tracy, We love your girls they are our family. Our nieces and cousins it makes no difference if they were born into the family or adopted. They are loved and special. We know the trials and tribulations you and your husband had to go through to complete your family. We love you all and Tracy HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to you and all biological or adopted Moms out there. Enjoy your family and every day with them. Love the family. S and J
Posted by: Sherril and Jim | May 11, 2007 8:50 PM
Karen: ALL children, regardless of their place of birth, deserve to live in a loving family environment. Choosing to adopt has NOTHING to do with charity. Adoption is about building families. People are called to build their families in different ways. I personally could not face the uncertainty and potential heartbreak of domestic foster/adopt programs. As a single working woman, I opted for a predictable, stable program with a strong track record of referring predominantly healthy, drug/alcohol/abuse-free children in a predictable amount of time. My dreams were met beyond my wildest imaginings - I have two beautiful daughters. If you feel called to give charity "at home" - donate $$ and/or time to your charity of choice. But don't adopt. Children don't need charity - they need loving parents, each and every one of them, equally.
Posted by: Sheri | May 11, 2007 10:52 PM
My husband and I have adopted 2 local children. We have had the biological sister of one of them since she was 3 days old. She is now 15 months old and we have been told that she will most likely go home. Her mother has been in a drug rehab program that is run in this county. The commissioner who oversees the program is also the judge who is making the decision to return the baby to her "mother". There are many reasons why this baby should not be returned to her but I cannot go into detail. FYI this is her 6th baby and she is pregnant again. I used to think local adoption was the only way to go. Now I'm not so sure. The heart ache not only for us but for the girls who will now be separated is not worth the pain. We need to get these kids protected her first.
Posted by: Marta | May 12, 2007 12:18 PM
I am an adoptive mom of American children, and I am SO offended by Karen's comments! How incredibly rude! If you want to be a part of the solution to children needing homes in America, then you adopt from America. I have the same feelings, just not quite as intolerant as yours of others. So here are some places people can go. www.nwae.org has children ready for adoption from the foster care system. There are two specific boys listed on there right now, if I knew where they lived, I'd update my homestudy and take them home with me. There is also www.heritageadoption.org. That is my local adoption agency, and they do a multitude of American adoptions, as well as international. Karen, I hope that is okay with you that they do both. They aren't mutually exclusive. We adopted our kids through them, and our next will come from the foster system.
Domestic adoption has a lot of misperceptions I'd like to quickly give a few easy answers. You can have a fairly short wait (our first son was 2 month wait), you can have a fairly closed adoption (you can request your adoption be as open as your comfortable with, --medical history for sure, not all international adoptions can offer medical history, for our kids we send some pictures to an agency every six months, I can handle that!) without visits and intrusion, and you can feel safe.
But hey, it's what your heart tells you! If you have a heart for Vietnamese kids or Cambodian kids (go Angelina!) go for it. I thank Angelina for bringing a positive focus to adoption and that kids are available for adoption. I would also like to point out all the great celebrities who have adopted domestically, Sheryl Crow, Goran Visnic (ER's Dr Kovac), Tom Cruise, Sharon Stone, etc.
If you want to see one of my precious guys, go to kgw's homepage. Go to the very far, bottom right corner, and click on "best viewer snow pics". Our youngest was ranked by kgw viewers as the number 10 (click on 10) of all the snow pictures. Ain't he cute?
Anyway, Karen. Sorry you can't be more of a help, and are just finding ways to be negative. We're talking about kids here. Let's bring it up a notch and be constructive.
Posted by: AnneMarie | May 16, 2007 9:55 AM
As an adoptive father of two wonderful children (one of which is 8 days old), I'd like to say that I appreciate any spotlight that is put on adoption. My kids were both adopted domestically, and both are open adoptions. As scary as it seemed at first, we have a great relationship with my oldest's birth mother and birth father. I look forward to being able to tell both of my kids that their biological parents cared for them enough to know that they wouldn't be able to take care of them on their own, so they provided them with a new home.
I also appreciate international adoption. These children have just as much need as those here in the States. As one of the posters said earlier, this is one world that is home to all of us. Every child deserves a loving home.
And as another note. Adoption through the state run foster care system is also a very important and awesome way that people can impact the lives of a child. My sister was adopted out of the State of Oregon foster care system. She came from a troubled past both at her biological mother's home and some of the many foster care homes she lived in. Saying that there is no need to adopt domestically because children have a foster care system here in the US is a misnomer. There is absolutely no replacement for a loving mother and father. Foster care does not provide that. Children are moved from home to home without security. Foster parents can be awesome and truly a blessing, but giving a child a home is something that is much different.
I don't think that anyone should look down on any of the many varieties of adoption. To each child, that method was a undeserved blessing. And if any of these methods went away, some child would lose out on an opportunity for a better, more secure, more loving life.
Posted by: Nick | May 16, 2007 10:32 AM
Marta, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I sure hope Karen read some of these posts after her own post. That is exactly why people do international adoption. There is virtually no chance of the so called "parents" coming back to take the children away. Which happens all too often in this state and this country.
Posted by: Kelly | May 16, 2007 1:25 PM
All you people who have attacked Karen for speaking the truth realize what a horrible and ignorant example you are setting for "your" kids. Since when is it ok to name call and accuse when she points out correctly that there are many US children who need to be adopted before foreign children get their chance. I hope all of you are donating every last cent of your disposable income to save all of these poor orphaned or abandoned children. If you are not, keep your mouths shut.
Posted by: Mark | May 20, 2007 1:36 AM
Coming from an adult adoptees perspective, I am a Korean adopted 36 years ago to a wonderful US family whom not only has loved me unconditionally as a "real" daughter, but has also provided me all that this great country has to offer. I have been raised to be a kind, honest, and respectable citizen that contributes to intercountry,domestic,& foster/adopt programs. All children deserve a chance for a loving permanent home wherever that may be. Isn't that what we all strive for?
Posted by: Tawnya | June 22, 2007 9:37 AM