Deployment challenges the bonds of family; war adds the levels of stress and fear that pull at these connections even further, pressing the will of even the strongest who dare. When we think of these soldiers, both men and women, it is the images of families separated, of individuals leaving their communities, their wives, their husbands, that special person, the children, the places they call home, that add disquiet to their acts of commitment and valor. With hope and faith that they will return to rejoin it all again, these soldiers leave their lives behind for what can be a solitary path. But not all walk these paths as singles. It can also be a shared path, with the vows of matrimony, "until death do us part," echoing to a level of commitment that few share or know.

Sergeant First Class Martin and Chief Warrant Officer Martin are married, and are deploying together as part of Joint Task Force Phoenix V (JTFP V). Having been married for 33 years, they have spent the majority of their lives in the military, living through the challenges of deployment and separation from one another. SFC Martin went on to say, "Because of our work and because of the military [my wife and I] have bounced all over the place and usually have had two homes." He continued, "At this point in the game we get to be around each other a lot, not only in work but in off time too. The eighteen hour days have definitely put the stress points on us, [but] we seem to be hanging in there." Together, the Martins manage the logistics of the Brigade's task force, working near each other in the same building. However, when asked if they feel that this arrangement will continue in Afghanistan, they both shook their heads, adding, "Probably not."

Being married on the same deployment poses challenges for the Army as well as married couples. As part of the rules that govern soldiers who are deployed, fraternization with the opposite sex, including sexual contact, is forbidden for the duration of the deployment. For members of JTFP V that adds up to 16 months of abstinence. These rules can be applied to married couples as well, offering challenges to a relationship, which include, limitations on living together. SFC Martin continues, "Really for [my wife and I] it's not as important. I would love to live with her [referring to CW4 Martin] while we're there and she would love to live with me... we've asked a few times and I understand why the command is a little jittery about that process... I'm more concerned about the younger couples that are going over that aren't able to see each other now in the training cycles and when they get over there they're going to be split up by their units... We have to wait and see what the command decision is on policy for us over there, and whatever they come up with we'll abide with it whether we like it or not, but I hope they take in consideration the younger married couples that are going over."

As her husband finished, CW4 Martin looked to the camera to reflect on their pervious deployment, "We deployed last year to Afghanistan. Two different locations but we did get to see each other a few times while we were there. I was on a 6 month tour, he [SFC Martin] was on a one year tour. We saw each other three or four times while we were in theatre... I had a lot of friends that were married couples and they were allowed to live as husband and wife, [however] it was much more of a garrison environment there than where we're going now, so I understand it both ways... [T]he sanctity of marriage is supposed to be an honored tradition in America, and here we are a married couple going into war, [with a] divorce rate that comes out of war that is unbelievable, so for the Army not to allow us to live as husband and wife would surprise me. The real test [will be for] these young soldiers that have been married just a few years, that are just starting to develop their bonds and their life and having to live within reach of each other but not being able to live as husband and wife... [SFC Martin] and I have been married 33 years so we've lived through this."

Deploying as a couple, however, has additional challenges beyond the issues of shared accommodations. As we continued to talk, CW4 Martin provided some additional insight, "People often think that we have it good because we get to be together. They don't understand the difficulties we have to face with leaving our home, our animals, our families... We don't have that [spouse] at home taking care of things, so we have to deal with the conflicts of home as well as the [challenges] of our job. There's a dual edge sword." As CW4 Martin finished, however, it was evident that her devotion to marriage was far greater than any of the obstacles that she may face over the next 16 months.

In addition to being parents, SFC Martin and CW4 Martin also have the joy being grandparents to eight grandchildren, ranging in age from 5 months to 13 years. CW4 Martin continues, "[Our grandchildren] have a great deal of pride in what we do, but it's hard for them to understand what they see in the cartoons, [where] people can shoot people and then they come back to life and play. So there has been some difficulties with them understanding that in war [unlike television] Grandpa and Grandma are going to a place where people shoot at them and we shoot back... [It's mainly] the younger [ones] that are having a difficult time dealing with that." Coming from Oregon adds additional challenges. Lacking any active duty military posts, Oregon does not have many of the resources that address issues related to deployment and children, "In Oregon there is no counseling that deals with the problems of a military family. There is no place they can go that says 'This is what happens in a military life and this is how we cope with those kinds of stresses.'"

To help offset some of this stress, CW4 Martin has taken an active role as a grandmother by educating school staff as well as students on her role in the National Guard and on this deployment. "I've been to [my grandchildren's] schools, I've talked with the teachers, talked with the principals, I've done a lot of speaking at different school events... what we've tried to do is go in and share, making our grandkids special people instead of [oddities] within the community. So I've spent a lot time with their classes to [help] them to understand." In addition to her speaking engagements, CW4 Martin has also brought along her gear, giving the younger children a chance to wear her body armor, and daily equipment load. She adds, "Of course I have to hold them up when they put it on."

With all of the challenges of deployment, the question left unanswered was "Why deploy as a couple?" SFC Martin began the discussion, "Because of the people. I'm not going over there because of the Red, White and Blue, and 'freedom for all,' and all that kind of hoop-la that they talk about. I'm going over for the Afghan people. I enjoyed my tour over there, made a lot of friends, and I know that the majority of the Afghan people want us there. We're their guests. We're not a conquering Army. Trust me, if they thought we were a conquering Army we'd be fighting them right now. I guarantee it. The Afghans are very proud people and as long as we're their guest, I'll be more than glad to help over there." As he continued, SFC Martin revealed his sensitivity, and his role as Grandfather, "I usually don't admit things [like this], but the kids over there really grabbed my heart. They have a very, very high mortality rate. I'm not sure what it is now, but as of a couple of years ago it was it was 40% for all of the children under the age of 5. I will do anything I can do to help that. They're a Muslim country. Their laws will not allow us to adopt..." And with a glanse towards CW4 Martin he concluded, "...otherwise we'd have a house full of kids again."

Having fought in Vietnam in a country that SFC Martin notes, "didn't want us there," SFC Martin added some final comments on his reasons for deploying; his respect for the Afghan culture evident in his words. "I feel good about it. The National Guard units that go over take hundreds of skills that the Regular Army units don't have. Regular Army units might be more proficient at certain things, but as day to day living and day to day knowledge, the National Guard and Reserve units are taking over [with them] so much civilian experience and knowledge that it helps build a bond with the people you work with. I've used this [example] several times but it makes so much sense, 'I teach [the Afghans] how to fix a faucet, but first I show them what a faucet is for.'"

As SFC Martin finished, CW4 Martin closed our interview with words that left no doubt that this couple shared a bond that could only have been forged from all their years together. "[In our last deployment] I spent six months as the spouse left behind and spent six months as the spouse deployed, and the left behind was a lot harder. Even though it's wearing body armor every day, and it's 110 degrees outside, going through what we go through, it's a lot harder being at home. There's a lot of stress being a housewife stuck at home with all of the problems, all of the situations, it's the hot water tank going out, the dog getting sick, it doesn't matter what comes up there's just a lot to that, besides the emotional stress. There was a lot of emotional stress when I was home. So when I got to go over there, a lot of that was lifted. I had to deal with the stress of controlled detonations, and mines being blown up during the day, and the aerial gunners at night, and after awhile, that noise just blended into woodwork and you ignored it. At home you could lay in your bed and not hear a sound all night and still not sleep. So it just depends on where you find your comfort, and I find my comfort near my husband."

As a married couple, the Martins are committed to each other. As members of this task force, they are committed to the well being of every soldier. And ultimately, that is what makes them stand out. No matter what the issue, the Martins always take concern for those whose voice is not often heard, be it a private, an Afghan child, or their own grandchildren. That focus allows the Martins to standout as an example of great people in uniform, respected not only within this brigade, but as citizens of the United States.

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Copyright, Scott Kesterson- 2006

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